kirstie07
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Awww, thank you all for your kind words, it really does help to realise that others have been through the same thing, and especially with the same disease! Because at the time Mum was diagnosed, I’d never heard of it, much less known anyone who’d had it, or had anything to do with it….
Hopefully in time, the pain and emptiness will become more bearable, at the moment, I can’t see that happening, but I’m sure it will.
Lainy….yellow wasn’t Mum’s colour either!! Really didn’t suit her! See, I can have a little joke!
Thank you all for giving me a little bit of hope, that I can adjust to this “new normal” that my life now is!
xxx
Dear Clarem,
My thoughts are with you and your family, I can’t imagine going through this with a sister!!
What a lovely idea for her 3 yr old, a photo album to cherish forever!!
I can relate to your comment about time being out of whack….feels like a lifetime since my mum was diagnosed, yet feels like yesterday!
Best wishes,
Kirstie
xxThank you Lainy for your kind words and that lovely verse, very comforting!
I’m finding it hard to remember what mum looked like when she was well, even though she wasn’t sick for very long. She was being treated for gallstones for about 6 months, but she was still reasonably well, she turned yellow in about November, so all in all she wasn’t unwell for a long time, so I’m baffled as to why I can’t picture her in my mind when she was ok, I’m sure this will all come back in time, but it’s worrying me as the only image I can bring into my mind is her lying unresponsive and only able to move her eyes….. I can’t even remember what her voice sounded like…even though we either saw each other or spoke on the phone….more often than not, both and more than once!!
I’m sure Mum is watching over me and my three daughters, her beloved Grandchildren, and I’m certain she would want happiness for all of us, one day I’m sure I’ll find that happiness, and smile again. It’s nice that I’ve found this group, but I’m sure we’d all rather not be here!!
Thanks again Lainy, you have given me comfort, and I think typing how I’m feeling is helping me too!
Kirstie
XxxMarcos,
I am sorry to hear of your Mum passing away. It is a very sad time indeed, take care of yourself and your family.
Cancer is a horrible disease, my Mums story sounds very similar to yours, beginning with some weight loss, her thinking it was great to lose some weight, then next thing we know…a cholangiocarcinoma diagnosis, and 18 days after that we lost her. I like to think she is still with us in someway.My thoughts are with you and your family..
Take care,
KirstieOh, thanks Gavin!!
Yes, I can tell already that coming here to vent/shout/scream is going to be widely accepted by you guys!! Sadly, as you sad many of you have been where I am now, or on the way to where I am now….and will totally understand me!
Thanks also for the link!Kirstie
Thanks to everyone for your kind words…it really is nice to know that there is some support out there!! I started to think no-one had heard of this type of cancer!
I guess I do need to stop trying to find answers and asking why, it isn’t going to help now! My biggest why that I kept asking is “why was this cancer not detected earlier in Mum” I have come to learn, that no matter when it was discovered/diagnosed…the outcome wasn’t going to change…..it just would have prolonged the agony of knowing she was dying! I’m glad, that in the end, my sister, brother and I were able to let her pass away at home, that was her only request, not to be in hospital. I’m also glad, in a way that she didn’t suffer in pain for too long!
Again, thanks for all your kind words, it really is hard to find someone who really knows how you are feeling, what you are going through! I only have one friend who’s lost her mother so although she’s been a great support to me, I don’t really like burdening her with my issues, making her go through all her pain over again!
xx
