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Dear Lola,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. This board really helped me through caring for my mother. It was wonderful for finding out what questions to even ask. I see that you are in Ohio. That was where my aunt wanted my mom to go for another opinion as they were very helpful when my other aunt was going through the same thing.Hugs to you and your momma,
MichelleI am just so sadden by this news. Got the news this morning…it wasn’t a good day after that. It did give me the patience for my students for the rest of the day knowing that any of us would give anything to have Christopher as a feisty, talkative student in their class for just another day. My thoughts are with the family. I know now is not the time for them, but for others that are grieving, a wonderful resource on facebook is transcending loss. It always helped me get through those rough days without my mother.
https://www.facebook.com/transcendingloss
If anyone reading this post is friends with the family, my husbands knows how much this story has bothered me. And he knows how important it is to bring awareness not only to this disease but to help out the family. He has brought this story to his reporter who would like to do a story about the family. He works for Fox News. I emailed a family friend but have not yet heard back from her. I’m sure mom and dad may not be up to it, but if any other family members are willing please let me know. I was hoping to have the story run before there next fundraiser this weekend.
Hi Roxanne,
Will you go to kaiser sunset for surgery? I forget the name of my moms surgeon. We just called him batman, because he’d swoop in to make a visit bet was not around much for questions. We would always go down to USC to see doctor lenz for second opinions and kaiser did a good job following their advice.
Thank you Pamela. I appreciate your kind words. I do think of Lauren often and I am still surprised she didn’t beat this thing. I did order Christopher a bunch of books this morning, and then got news that he wasn’t doing well. Everyone was so kind when my mother was ill and she loved her home decorating magazines while she was going through chemo. And Pamela, yes, you are right, a donation would be the best way to go. I’m sure the family needs as much support as possible through this.
Here is Christophers facebook page. I did ask if I can share it:
https://www.facebook.com/teamcjwilke?ref=br_tf
There is a fundraiser for this family this weekend, so if you happen to be close to the Burbank area please stop by. I did hear from the family friend, and Christopher came home on Hospice care. I am beside myself. So sad, such a beautiful boy. Please keep him and his family in your prayers.
Thank you Marion for responding to my post. I hope all is well with you. I am glad to hear they are in touch with MD Anderson. Dr. Lens, here is very knowledgeable, but after that im just not sure. I did pass on the Cholangiocarcinoma foundations message board info. This proved a great tool for me. However, I stumbled across the website 8 months after my mom was diagnosed.
Pamela, I’m sitting here crying. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know sorry doesn’t begin to cover it. Lauren was my hope story. I had so much hope for her and if anyone was going to beat this cancer it was going to be Lauren. I love the picture of you two with her beautiful smile. Please know that you and your family our in my thoughts. Please take care of yourself.
Hugs to you, MichelleI’m so sorry you are feeling that way. You have every right to feel that way too. If I am correct, you are with Dr. Lenz now, you couldn’t ask for a better doctor.
Be kind to yourself, you tried. You can’t go backwards. Have your pity party every so often and then move on from it. If that doesn’t work ask the doctor for something for depression. Hopefully it will help lift that feeling from you.
And I know what you mean about going to the doctors and them never finding anything. I have had the same problem for a year and half. I waited to go for the first eight months because I thought it was just stress. HOwever, when isn’t life stressful…it is always stressful about something.
Hugs to you,
MichelleHi, I’m Michelle (42 years old)…live in Valencia, ca. About 45 minutes outside of Los Angeles. I have a beautiful 15 year old daughter and a wonderful husband of almost 3 years. I found this site while looking for answers to my mothers cancer. My mother was 62 when she went in for her basic gallbladder surgery, which ended up not happening because of what they found when they opened her up on oct 7, 2010. November 4 she had her gallbladder and 1/3 of her liver removed. January 2011mom started gemzar and xeloda and radiation in march. June 2011 cancer returned and mon started on a new chemo regimin. August, tudors increased in size and instead of trying a different type of chemo that would have done more harm, mom decided to go for quality of life…which she never got. I was fortunate my job as a teacher gave me the time to care for my mom the last couple of months. My step dad and I would alternate says caring for mom. She was completely coherent until she lost her battle on November 7, 2011.
Hi Shar,
I’m glad your mom is feeling better now that her stents were replaced. The Dr’s should advise on what to do next. In my mothers situation they wanted to start a new treatment. However, He also stated that it was going to be tough on my mothers system and that when the tested the tumor, it didn’t have any reaction to it. The Dr. did know that my mom wanted to keep fighting this.
When we went for the second opinion, the dr. suggested the same thing, but then offered two different pills to help prolong life, since they figured my moms quality of life would suffer from the chemo. My mom had both chemo cocktails your mom was on. They wanted to do Irenok…(not sure about spelling). My mom chose to focus on quality of life than trying to deal with the chemo. Since my moms original surgery to have her gallbladder removed she only had one problem after another.
Hope that information helps. The one thing I wish we knew earlier was knoing about palliative care. My mom needed lots of shots after her chemo treatments and she didn’t want to do them herself, so we would go down to the hospital every day to do this. After awhile, she wasn’t able to make the trip by walking. We had to get her a wheel chair. However, had we known about palliative care, a nurse would have come to the house to do the shots. On a bright note, it got us out of the house and we always went to lunch afterwards.
Take care of your momma and yourself during this time.
Hugs to you,
MichelleJenna, I couldn’t have said it any better. It has been 2 and half months since I lost my mom and I just don’t know what to do with my self. I find myself walking in circle in the house.
Hugs to you,
MichelleMaria,
I am so sorry for your loss. And I know exactly how you feel with losing my mom only 2 months ago. My mom sat up in her last moment and told us she couldn’t breathe…that is the vision I go to sleep with every night and wake up with every morning. I wish I could tell you it gets easier. Many tell me that and they also tell me that those last moments will fade with time and I will remember the happier times. I’m sure in the long run we will both be grateful that we were there at the very end. I don’t know if we would be able to handle it if they went while they were alone.You got to be there in the end for your mother and you did all you could. I still find myself trying to understand the why of this disease. Your mom was so young…my mom was only a few years older. I will just start crying in a store when I see someone my mothers age with their mother…that was suppose to be me in twenty years.
My husband gave my a photo (negative) scanner for Christmas…yes, he knows my rules, nothing that plugs in…but I love it. I’ve been going through all my old pictures and my moms old pictures. Even though she lived a short 63 years, she had a great life. I guess we only take pictures of our good times. I just wanted to share that with you because it makes me feel good while doing it. I still cry several times a day. I don’t know when it will hit me that she is really gone.
If you need someone to talk to please feel free to send me an email.
You will be in our thoughts and prayers Maria…please take care of yourself.
Hugs,
Michelle
