orlysud
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Thank you everyone for all your support. As someone said, the more you loved that person, the deeper the grieving. I’m still raw and my heart aches deeply. I have run out of words to express my grief. I loved my mother more than anyone in this world.
My family which consist of my my aunt & 2 cousins, have been awful with me since my mother passed away, as they’re upset that their names are not on my mother’s Will. So they’re hiring an attorney to sue me saying I owe them lots of money for my mother’s medical bills. They told me and my mother several times while she was still alive, not to worry about my mother’s medical bills and that they would take care of it. I knew they were rich. They cared for her and also stole her valuables which I cannot prove. My mother was at their mercy because they were taking care of her and paying her medical bills. In the back of their minds, they were thinking about a payback.
My cousins knew I was unemployed and didn’t even offer an air ticket to France to see my own mother. My mother ended up giving them money to wire to me, in order to puchase my air ticket. Thank God that I was able to see my mother a few days before she passed and also to bury her.
So I’m not only greiving heavly but also dealing with an “evil greedy family. By the way, this issue is happening in France as that’s where my mother’s apartment is located. So I’ll probably have to go to France sometime this year, with what money, I don’t know.
Still grieving.
When a cancer hits at the speed of lightening as it so happened with my mother, it’s very difficult to come to terms with the devastation of an almost sudden death. CC took my mother’s life in 8 weeks from time of diagosis.
I also keep replaying the last few days of my mother’s life over and over in my mind. It’s only been 7 weeks since she passed away. I feel my mother’s spirit with me and sometimes talk to me through my mind. I miss hearing her voice every morning.
I’m upset to hear people say that I should go to a grief support group or counseling, as it makes me angry! Everyone grieves their own way and I prefer not to go to conseling, so I wish people would stop suggesting it, even though I’m aware that they’re only trying to help. On the other hand, I also feel like people don’t want to hear about my grief and prefer that one shares it with their therapist or that one should just get over it soon. Well that’s not going to happen.
Is it normal to repeatedly have split second moments that make us realize that our loved one is no longer with us? That’s what hurts the most for me.
I am comforted when I feel my mother with me and when I look at her picture, which her kind eyes are looking straight at me.
Thank you Pam and everyone else who responded.
I wanted to go to a Grief Support class but it’s from 7:30-9:30 PM, once a week for 10 weeks. I didn’t like the hours, so I gave it a lot of thought. Then this morning, I spoke to my mother (like I have been doing since she passed away) out loud, and asked her if I should go to this class or would should be willing to help me through my grief. Believe it or not, a thought came across as “I will carry you through your grief.” No joke! I feel like my mother is with me and speaking to me through my thoughts, can that be true? Also, when I start crying, I can almost hear my mother through my thoughts, telling me not to cry, which I then stop crying. Am I going out of my mind or what??? Please let me know if I’m going crazy.
Anyway, I called the Pastor in charge of this class, to advise him in advance, that I would not be attending his class tonight, but I felt like he was giving me the guilt trip. He responded “I was depending on you; you really need it; I have such a small class; I’ll give you a ride to and from the class ( I don’t drive).” Very very nice of him, but one of the things I dislike is when I’m being forced to do something that I don’t want. I responded that I would call him back later today but now I have decided that I don’t want to call back just to decline again. My decision was already made the first time I called this morning. Just want to know what your thoughts are.
I’m 59 years old, have been sober for 20 years, go to my meetings and get support there as well.
I love to stay home as I can talk to my mother & look at her framed photograph on the wall. I also feel that she’s with me in spirit and that her soul is inside my heart. Can that be?
When friends say “if you need anything let me know” I noticed that they never call or email me or offer to get together for coffee etc.. So, now I know who my true friends are. Amazing what you lean when you’re going through a huge loss in your life. My family (2 cousins and aunt) have turned against me as they want part of my inheritance that they’re not intitled to, so they’re out of my life too although I still wanted to be in touch with my aunt who’s going to be 85 next month. I have cut all contact with them. It’s a great pity that my aunt always not matter what, sides with her children, therefore I haven’t heard from her in 32 days & probably never will, unless she realized one day that we both need eachother.
I am so grateful to hear from all of you which is helping me slowly ride through this storm. It’s one little step at a time & one hour at a time. I’m trying and that’s all I can do.
Thank you for listening to me and thank you for letting me share on this web site.
Everyone has their own way of grieving. I don’t like to hear that I have to go to a grief counselor like most of my friends are suggesting. I feel like it’s either too heavy for them to hear or they’re tired of hearng it. In a grief book that I’m reading, it says to talk about it as much as you want to.
Joyce,
I’m so sorry but I an totally relate to your feelings because I feel the same way. When you said “Maybe withdrawing from the world is not healthy, but it’s all I want to do. Nothing will make it better – unless she comes back to me.” that’s exactly how I feel. This cancer killed my mother (Nov. 29th, 2012) in 8 weeks and it was just horrific for me. She was all I had and now she’s gone. It’s been 6 weeks and 1 day now, and I’m still hurting. I believe that everyone takes their own time to heal and we can’t rush it, like many others would like us to.
This past Christmas was awful for me and I didn’t & couldn’t celebrate. All I could and still do, is think of my wonderful loving mother. Facing it and feeling it is my way of riding through the storm.
I enlarged three beautiful pictures of my mother when she was well, framed them and hung them up on the wall right in front of me, above my laptop screen. In that way I can type and look at her when I want to. I also look at one picture at a time and speak to her, cry and then speak to her again. For me, it gets better each day but then I have my really bad days. The important thing to remember is that healing is a process and can take a long time depending on the person. For me it’s a long process.
My mother is the wind beneath my wings” and apparently mother’s always stay with their children in spirit and soul. Their soul never leaves you.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to leave me a message any time when you need someone.
Joyce,
I’m so sorry but I an totally relate to your feelings because I feel the same way. When you said “Maybe withdrawing from the world is not healthy, but it’s all I want to do. Nothing will make it better – unless she comes back to me.” that’s exactly how I feel. This cancer killed my mother (Nov. 29th, 2012) in 8 weeks and it was just horrific for me. She was all I had and now she’s gone. It’s been 6 weeks and 1 day now, and I’m still hurting. I believe that everyone takes their own time to heal and we can’t rush it, like many others would like us to.
I’m debating if I want to attend a Grief class which is once a week for ten weeks, or if I want to do it my way. My friends who have been through the class said it’s great.
My way of grieving is I enlarged three beautiful pictures of my mother when she was well, framed them and hung them up on the wall right in front of me above my laptop screen. In that way I can type and look at her when I want to. I also look at one picture at a time and speak to her, cry and then speak to her again. For me, it gets better each day but then I have my really bad days. The important thing to remember is that healing is a process and can take a long time depending on the person. For me it’s a long process.
My mother is the :wind beneath my wings” and mother’s always stay with their children in spirit and soul. Their soul never leaves you.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to leave me a message any time when you need someone.
Thank you everyone who replied to my post. I know that the only people who can relate to this particular cancer are ones that have had experience with it. I am so grateful to this web site as it will help me and others to overcome this tragic loss, hopefully.
Lainy said “I believe that Mother’s never really leave their children and in time you will feel her all around you!” I pray that it’s true because that’s what I want the most.
