Declining Fast

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  • February 12, 2014 at 5:26 pm #79470
    pamela
    Spectator

    Dear Dee and Lou,

    I am sorry you had a bad time with the doctor. I just wanted you to know that my daughter and son-in law are both doctors. I talk with my daughter almost every day and she is wonderful with her patients and often brings the sadness she sees home with her. Some doctors may be brilliant, but have no people skills when it comes to showing empathy. Luckily, my other daughter, Lauren, who had CC, had a surgeon and oncologist who were wonderful. Her surgeon was with us when she passed and cried along with us. He also drove four hours to attend her funeral and has told us recently that he still thinks of her daily. I am so sorry, Dee and Lou, that you have experienced the opposite and have bad feelings in general for doctors. It must be such an awful feeling to be treated in such a callous and uncaring way.

    Love and hugs to you,
    -Pam

    February 12, 2014 at 7:06 am #79469
    gavin
    Moderator

    Sorry to hear about your mum Lou. I know how much it means to your mum right now to have you there by her side. Thinking of you right now.

    Hugs,

    Gavin

    February 11, 2014 at 11:43 pm #79468
    lainy
    Spectator

    Dear Lou, Mum may be waiting for something. It could be a goodbye from a family member or a friend. It could be some unfinished business. I do believe we pick our time. The day Teddy passed we waited all day. He lay there for hours with his eyes wide open never even blinking. I kept telling him to go to his Peace and I would be OK and I love him. He would stick his fingers in his ears! He was not ready. This happened 3 times. About 845PM Robin called her 2 boys, 15 and 16 who were at home (other 2 kids at college) and told them Papa was passing but they did not have to come as Papa knew how much they loved him. In 15 minutes they showed up and Robin said, “Papa Kyle and Brandon are here” and 3 minutes later he passed. I feel he was waiting for them so Robin and I would not be alone and she feels it was one more life lesson he was teaching them. What ever works it was perfect timing. Please do not be afraid we found the end to be more amazing than otherwise. I am standing right next to you in spirit and sending a ton of love and hugs to your family. Be strong.

    February 11, 2014 at 11:00 pm #79467
    Randi
    Spectator

    Lou,

    So sorry to hear about your Mum. I am sure you are a blessing to her and your permission for her to continue her journey is a gift that is hard to give. I am thinking of you both and hope you can celebrate the wonderful memories you have soon.

    Hugs,
    -Randi-

    February 11, 2014 at 9:56 pm #79466
    clarem
    Spectator

    Dear Lou,

    I am think of you and your mum.
    x

    February 11, 2014 at 7:44 pm #79465
    marions
    Moderator

    Lou….Although, patient symptoms “may” predict the timing ultimately though it is an individual response. Please do not regret your decision, your Mom is showing you the way.
    Hugs and love,
    Marion

    February 11, 2014 at 7:10 pm #79464
    ilias
    Member

    Thank you Dee and Willow. It’s comforting to know people far a across the oceans truly care.

    On Saturday night we were told she had between 2- 8 hours. It has now been four days and she is still holding on. We were forced to shut her feed Sunday based on the doctors prediction. We are so angry we were forced to make this decision.

    Sorry, need to sign off. I will get back to you later.

    February 11, 2014 at 4:03 pm #79463
    willow
    Spectator

    Lou,
    So many above have put beautifully into words what I also wish to convey. We are with you in spirit to comfort you and your dear Mum.
    Willow

    February 11, 2014 at 1:08 pm #79462
    dee999
    Spectator

    Dear Ilias,

    It feels like medicine has become more of a business rather than the noble service it was once referred to. I was in India and my experience of being cut off was very much like yours. I wonder if doctors would convey the news of their loved ones dying to their family with the same empathy and compassion that they bestow upon their patients.

    I truly agree with Lainy, in what she says about telling them it is ok to go. My Mom was on the ventilator when i could not bear to see Her suffer any more, i told Her it was ok to go, we will all be fine. She could not talk but i still remember the relief in Her eyes. “I love You” are 3 words but can say everything you mean to. It doesn’t get easier but at least the pain we endure would be ours and our loved ones have the peace, comfort and freedom they so rightfully deserve.

    Keep calm and travel on. She needs you more than ever. i pray for both of you to find the courage and strength to push through this darkness and welcome the light.

    From one daughter to another.

    Love,
    Dee

    February 11, 2014 at 5:16 am #79461
    lisacraine
    Spectator

    Lou,
    I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Cherish these moments.
    Peace
    Lisa

    February 11, 2014 at 12:28 am #79460
    ilias
    Member

    Dear Darla and Pam

    Thanks so much for your amazing words. All of your support is very comforting to all my family.

    God Bless
    Lou

    February 10, 2014 at 12:24 pm #79459
    cherbourg
    Spectator

    Lou,

    I lost my Mom to CC on April 3, 2009. I know how hard this part of the journey can be.

    Your Mom will be leaving an amazing legacy behind in you her beloved child. I can tell from reading your posts she was an incredible Mom and taught you well!

    I can promise you that you will find a deep strength in yourself that you never knew you were capable of during these next days. I believe it comes from God and I was amazed at how much I was able to handle.

    These are such precious moments. Drink them all in – the good and the sad.

    Please know I’m holding you, your Mom and your family tightly in my prayers.

    Hugs and many prayers…..
    Pam

    February 8, 2014 at 11:53 pm #79458
    ilias
    Member

    Gavin and Pamela

    You are all such wonderful and caring people. Your messages of kindness tells me people do care.

    I am waiting in the visitors area as I write this. The nurses here have been wonderful and are lookIng after mum beautifully. She is so swollen with fluid at the moment that the bed sheets are continuously wet. The nurses are always changing her and trying their best to keep her comfortable.

    Anyway, I will keep you updated soon.

    Thanks once again to all this community

    Lou

    February 8, 2014 at 4:59 pm #79457
    pamela
    Spectator

    Dear Lou,

    I am so very sorry for what is happening. You are such a wonderful person and have always had such heartfelt messages for me. Please know that I am thinking about you and your dear Mum. Just forget about the doctor’s thoughtless comment. I think sometimes they are at a loss as to what to say and put up a wall to protect their feelings. What is important is that you have been there for your Mum and she is so lucky to have you. You will find the strength. It just comes naturally. My heart goes out to you.

    Love and hugs,
    -Pam

    February 8, 2014 at 7:21 am #79456
    gavin
    Moderator

    Dear Lou,

    I am sorry to hear how things are going with your mum now. Having been where you are with my dad I so know how you feel right now. Feeling scared is natural but trust me, you will find the strength that you need to get you through this. We are all here for you and will always be. Thinking of you right now.

    Hugs,

    Gavin

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