Loosing that fighting feeling!
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- This topic has 18 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 11 months ago by linda-z.
June 21, 2010 at 8:06 pm #39049linda-zSpectator
Glad to hear you are doing better. We all have our down days….I know I’ve had my share, but you know where to go to get back up! And you’ve done it. Hope your tolerance to the Xeloda goes well.
“With God all things are possible”.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Linda Z.June 21, 2010 at 12:26 pm #39048lalupesSpectator
I’m thinking of you, Rick. xxJune 19, 2010 at 7:40 pm #39047houstonmomMember
So glad to hear you are doing better, God’s word and prayer are amazing and Christ is our ultimate healer! Since my last message, I am feeling much better physcially and emotionally. While my situation does not compare to yours, my hope in sharing my “weariness” with you was to affirm it was okay (and expected) to have those low days. I know I’ve had a good share of them, but thanks to Christ, peace and joy ultimately prevail. God bless and heal you and Happy Father’s Day!!June 18, 2010 at 9:07 pm #39046lisaSpectator
Hi Rick, I am a firm believer in prayer and have had many prayers coming my way over the last nearly three years. I think that prayer and faith in God is what has sustained me in relative health since Aug 07. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.June 18, 2010 at 8:56 pm #39045rick-kampMember
Today IS a better day. I am starting to regroup a little bit. A group of my pastors from Church and some close family came over this afternoon to sit with me and pray with me for healing according to James 5 (look it up, if you are interested). I know that not everyone here has the same beliefs that I do, but this was a big step for me and has helped to raise my spirits. I believe that healing is very much a possibility, even if it doesn’t happen very often. So, while I hope that I can be miraculously healed, I am also starting on my Xeloda tonight to give medicinal healing a chance too.
Thank you all for your kind works and for trying to lift me up when I needed it the most. Even a swift kick in the rear, if needed. I get into these funks more often that I would like to admit.
RickJune 18, 2010 at 12:45 am #39044marionsModerator
Rick…..You had so much downer news, no wonder you are feeling the way you do. Tomorrow will be another day. Good luck with the Xeloda. It has helped many and I am crossing my fingers that it will do the same for you.
I am sending all my best wishes your way,
MarionJune 17, 2010 at 11:15 pm #39043rick-kampMember
Insurance officially denied the treatment with everolimus and appeals to the drug company for compassiante allowance did not work either. I have one more route I can take which is the appeals process with insurance but that takes quite some time. So I start Xeloda tomorrow. I’ve been off chemo for awhile now while all of this has been going on so I’m anxious to get back on and hopefully it will be effective.
It’s been another one of those downer days. Maybe it is the anticipation of taking the new drug or maybe it is that I just haven’t been feeling great. Either way, I hope that I bounce back soon and start having some better days.June 15, 2010 at 7:49 pm #39042linda-zSpectator
I really don’t have any sure-fire ways to “keep it uplifting”, but just 2 words….”your girls”. Think of them and what you still want to do with them and I’m sure you will find a way to be with them longer. Don’t try to dwell on the negative CC aspects, just think about your family and the good things you DO have in your life right now. Take your mind off of all the heavy things you’ve been dealing with and see if that doesn’t help just a little.
You have had some tremendously positive things to add to this Board and we all need that to continue! You aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, so hang in there until the storm passes a little bit more. My guess is that your work on this earth isn’t done yet.
My prayers and thoughts are on you and your family. Hang in there.
Linda Z.June 14, 2010 at 8:43 pm #39041celoiSpectator
Hi there Rick,
I haven’t been on this site for quite some time and decided to read post today…but I thought I would say a word or two…
HOPE, is what can’t be taken away. Think about positive things and don’t feel that if you feel ‘sad’ you are giving up. As long as you have life, there is HOPE and that is indeed good news.
Daughter of David CookJune 14, 2010 at 5:37 pm #39040gavinModerator
That sure has been an awful lot that you have had to deal with lately, so it is no wonder that you are feeling as you are right now. I can’t really say much about this as I was the carer and not the patient, so all I can do is talk about my dads experiences. He took a lot of knocks along the way in his battle as one thing was ruled out, then another and then something else. And each time he got really down about things for a bit, then he seemed to come back. I think what worked for him was just trying to focus on the now and not think too far ahead. But of course he did think sometimes about the future, but I guess that is just natural.
Some of the things that I know helped my dad were getting visits from his friends. That way he was able to talk about stuff other than cancer and what it all involves, and I know how happy he was after seeing his mates. He also took up horse riding, something that he had never done and always wanted to do. I took him to every lesson that he had and I saw how happy it made him, so perhaps you could try a new hobby or activity, or just do something that you have always wanted to try? My dad also used to love going to his day care centre and he had a great laugh there, but from your posts I’m assuming that you are a lot younger than my dad, but perhaps a face to face support group in your local area may be of use?
I dunno if any of my post will be of use or not. If not just ignore it as maybe I’m barking up the wrong tree here, but just thought I would let you know what made my dad feel a bit better each day. And you know that we are all here for you always.
GavinJune 14, 2010 at 1:57 pm #39039darlaSpectator
I don’t really have any other words of wisdom for you, but want you to know how badly I feel for you about these latest problems you are facing and that I am thinking of you.
DarlaJune 14, 2010 at 1:35 pm #39038cherbourgSpectator
I wish I could make all of this just go away for you. You’ve had to process a lot lately. The scan read incorrectly and now the insurance people. Along with a thousand other issues I’m sure! I think you’ve earned the right to be sick and tired of being sick and tired!!
Give yourself permission to just let it go for a moment! You’ve earned the title of Superman in my mind. You are an amazing man, husband and father! You’ve taken care of everybody and everything and kept a smile on your face.
I don’t think you’re ready to give up I just think you need a moment to regroup. Kris said it all in her post.
I’ll leave you with one of the verses I found underlined in my Mom’s bible:
Isaiah 40:31….But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Hang in there…we are all here for you!
Hugs as always!
PamJune 14, 2010 at 4:56 am #39037kentuckyjackMember
Rick–I’m fairly new in this fight, so I’m barely fit to advise, but I think it may have been Norman Cousins who fueled his fight with the joy that movie comedies brought him. I’ve gotten a few, and intersperse them with westerns, and the occasional anger-inducing revenge flick. I even laughed at an old Sopranos episode where the main character laughed himself to sleep with old Jimmy Cagney “Public Enemy” type movies.
And then I recently reread Robert Heinlein’s book “Job-A Comedy of Justice.”–as a jumping off point to the Old Testament book of Job. Seems like my life has paralleled Job’s sometimes.
Also take joy in all the support and kindness you’ve shown to others on this website. You are a blessing. We all have to face trials, and God bless you in yours especially this day. Rest well until you are guided to re-engage.June 13, 2010 at 2:45 pm #39036lisaSpectator
Rick, I know what you mean. It is so hard to keep on fighting when you are exhausted and sick and just want to be better. I don’t know what to say but God bless you.June 13, 2010 at 1:03 pm #39035lainySpectator
Dearest Rick, I thought long and hard about this and asked Teddy about it as he is in the same situation now. I so agree with all Kris said and that everyone is different. Teddy tries to stay focused on things we are going to be doing like going to Milwaukee to see the kids. I truly believe age has a lot to do with it. He is going to be 78 and has lived a life most men never get to. He says he is ready. He steels his mind like nothing I have ever seen and his only request is that NO one cry in front of him. Of course as different people who mean something to him start tearing he does too but for the most part we are trying to be a happy house. His sister comes in today for 5 days and we love her but but she is the classic Italian Drama Queen. Yikes.
Wish I had great words of wisdom but I don’t. I can’t even pull out the Erma Bombeck in me right now. Guess I could say, look around you at your family and set your goal to give them the best of you to create happy memories.
I hope the Insurance company comes through for the latest treatment and you come out at the top. Our hearts and prayers are with you.
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