My wee dad
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Carol…please be insistent. Your Dad should not have to experience any pain. Make sure the physicians are on top of the situation. It has to be resolved
Sending tons of love your way,
Hugs,
MarionI am trying to persuade Ian and kids just to go as I don’t feel there’s much point in them being here when they could all get a holiday but they don’t want to go without me. Holiday is for 15 days but if I went at all I’d only go for a few days at the beginning to get family settled then fly back as I wouldn’t enjoy myself anyway and would never forgive myself if anything happened while I was away on holiday …. Dad’s getting a cathatar in just now and is in a lot of pain in his tummy…. Horrible watching him suffer through this disgusting cancer !!! Thanks Gavin xxxx
Hi Carol,
Tough call as to whether you should all go on holiday or not right now. I know your dad says you should and I can so picture him saying that, he sounds just like my dad and my dad would have said the exact same thing to me. I am sure that everyone will have a different opinion on this and I would say it really has to be down to you all and what you all want to do. I know that you could so all do with the break. What about postponing it through your holiday insurance, would that be an option? HOw long is the holiday for and do you think you would be able to enjoy it if you went?
The driver should help your dad now and hope that the change of pain meds will help with the kidney issues etc. Am keeping my fingers crossed for your dad and so hoping that he does feel better very very soon and that things stabilise as well.
Big hug for you,
Gavin
Thanks guys … Dad having a lot of tummy pain today and I spoke to dr yesterday who explained dad on syringe driver as they wanted him to have different pain relief rather than the morphibe as it would build up in his kidneys as they’re not working well just now and this pan relief gentler on kidneys. Dr tokd me it’s a day at a time just now to see if dad recovers from this latest infection. Ian kids and I are supposed to be going on holiday to Spain next Friday and dad is determined that I go but I’m scared to go incase he becomes really unwell. Advice? Dr told me he will chat with me at weekend as wi hopefully have a clearer picture of how dad is by then and whether he has become more stable or not. Can’t thank you all enough for all your support xxxx
Sorry to hear about the kidneys Carol. My dad was on the syringe driver as well for a while and that helped him quite a bit. Meant that he could keep his meds down so that they worked for him and he felt a lot more comfortable with it. It was also easier for his hospice team to administer new meds if dad needed them and the driver runs on a 24 hour cycle which will be changed daily by the hospice team.
So hoping that this and the saline will help your dad and getting him comfortable right now is so important. My thoughts are with you right now.
Hugs,
Gavin
Carol, it is up to Hospice to see to it that Dad remains as comfortable as they can make him. Sometimes when a patient cannot hold anything down that is taken orally or cannot swallow, pain killers can be taken other ways. There are patches, syringe drivers and even suppositories. If the discomfort is not curtailed in the beginning it can get out of control later. Wishing Dad he best.
Dad’s kidney function not good and they’ve put him on a saline drip as he’s dehydrated. They’ve also put in a pain driver which set my alarm bells ringing as I thought they just did this if nearing the end ?? Anyone know ?? Dad’s still in hospice xxx
Carol, I am so sorry your family is riding this roller coaster and hope Dad is feeling a bit better today. I think the Birthday Party was a very good idea and I remember with Teddy that the smallest things made him so happy even when he was feeling so ill. You are doing great and I know how hard it is, be strong, hang in and hang on!
Hi Carol,
Sorry to hear that dad has had a rough few days and like you I am keeping my finger crossed that he bounces back and feels much better very, very soon. How is he feeling today? Better I hope. And a happy birthday to your mum as well. Your birthday tea sounds good and I am sure that it brought some smiles to your mum and dads faces with the kids being there and everything.
Have you thought about getting the GP out to see your dad if he is looking more jaundiced as you say? Or failing that, have you spoken with his Marie Curie team about this? Perhaps see how things go tomorrow and see how he is and then see if the gp is needed. The sleeping more is so very common with this cancer and my dad went through that as well.
And like you, I so hate this cancer loads as well.
Hugs,
Gavin
Dad didn’t have a great day yesterday as he looks a bit more jaundiced and he slept most of the day and evening. It was my mums birthday yesterday but we took kids in on Friday instead and had a wee birthday tea and mum opened her presents so don’t know if that just tired my dad out!! Let’s hope he feels a bit better today and is more awake and alert ….. he’s asked me to bring the life assur policies in to have a look at……HATE this cancer so much xxx
Hi Clare,
From what I learned last week PoA in Scotland has 2 parts. 1st would cover you for making financial decisions for your dad if he stipulated that and the 2nd would give you power to make decisions on his behalf re his care. I think as well that the 2nd part would cover where he would receive care, what type and you would be responsible for that. It takes a lot of power away from the docs and would put in your dads hands as it were through you so that you could carry out his wishes. The example I was given last week was if someone was to have a stroke and could not make any decisions for themselves then PoA would be very good in enabling the patient to get what they wanted treatment wise or not.
Hope some of that makes sense Carol. The person who advised me on all of this was from the Dundee Carers Centre so I guess they are allowed to give that sort of advice. Here is a link for you as well on PoA –
http://www.publicguardian-scotland.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
Think it will cost between £200 – 300 to draw up. I take it that your dad has other financial things in order, will etc. Sorry to bring this up but getting all of this stuff in order makes so much sense and I know that for some people it can be a very tough topic to discuss that so many people shy away from for obvious reasons. Let me know if I can help anymore Carol and you know if you want to discuss things off board you can do that as well if you are more comfortable with that.
Hugs,
Gavin
Carol, Teddy was DX at 73 and had an aborted Whipple and then the real deal. When he began this journey he was DX at Stage II. This was 10 years ago and they said that because of where it was located at the ampulla vater and near the head of the Pancreas they could not do adjunctive chemo as he had clean margins and the chemo would not help. He was clear for 3 years and it returned to the same place where the duodenum used to be. He had Cyber Knife and that worked for 2 years and it then return with a vengeance 2 years after that, We never talked Stages after the first DX. You just seem to know by what you are witnessing and what they are feeling.
Carol did you ask me for the list of 10 signs that the end is near? Teddy followed it so closely but know that everyone is different. If you email me I will send it to you. All we can do when it get to this point is wish our loved ones a gentle journey. Oh, the CC NEVER went to his liver, strange.Hi Gavin
Many thanks for your explanation of the power of attorney as it may prove worthwhile when sorting out dad’s affairs so mum doesn’t have to if she’s too upset.
Also thanks as always for your continued support.Carol
XxxHi Carol,
Thanks for letting us know how things are with your dad and I am glad to hear he is doing a bit better again. That roller coaster again is it not. Strawbs and ice cream good stuff! Can’t beat that at this time of the year and I know he will have enjoyed them!
I so agree with Lainy in that it sounds like your dad is wanting to get things in order so that it takes the pressure off of you and your mum. My dad did that as well. He too had the chance to come home from hospice for a bit but decided against it as he knew what it would involve for me looking after him and mum as well. Plus, he felt a but more comfortable and safe I guess in hospice with the medical team around him 24 hours a day. I think that for everyone this decision will have to be their own and could be different to others and my only advice would be just to go with what your dad wishes.
The power of attorney document should be very easy and quick for your dads solicitor to draw up and he will be able to put in it exactly what he wants to happen should something happen etc and it will also start at a time or situation of his choosing. Reason I know this is that this something that I have been looking into for my mum as well. It does give the person granted the power of attorney much more control over everything as stipulated by the person who it covers, your dad. A good idea I would argue that can save a lot of stress, worries etc at what is a very stressful time for you all.
Hope your dad was able to enjoy the tennis today, another great result for Andy!
My best to your dad and a big hug to you as well,
Gavin
Thanks Lainy
Dr just told us this afternoon that blood test show cancer spreading to more
of dad’s liver now and she’ll do more tests next week and update us again. She’s also explained dad not fit enough to go home so looking at longer stay in hospice. What was Teddys prognosis when he reached this stage (if you don’t mind me asking?)
Thanks for the huge hug and here’s one back to you xxx (())
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