My wee dad

Dearest Carol,
My thought and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. After having gone through this recently with my spouse I definitely feel for you.
I think my husband was in denial up until the very end. He just didn’t think he would really die and his family really was upset that he did die. I still think they think I had something to do with it.
The Marie Curie nurses sound very similar to our hospice program which I think is a great service. I had to bring in hospice for my husband even though he didn’t really want it. I told him that it didn’t mean he had to die just that I needed help in caring for him. He was very adamant at the end that he did not want to go back to the hospital so I told him that I needed it so he could stay home. I promised to take him to scheduled doctor appts and to still look for possible treatments. We never got to that point but there were a God send for me.
You and your family may want to put it to him that way. And they will be able to assist with things like keeping his bowels working.

KrisV

Dear Carol, unfortunately everything that you are experiencing is ‘normal’ but the bottom line is Dad’s comfort. I know that he must be so proud of the way you are handling this and helping your Mum. Teddy did very well with comfort foods like homemade soups and pastas and soft chicken. He lost his taste for many things including sweets. He did like the Carnation Instant Breakfast and his favorite was vanilla and I would blend in fruit, mostly bananas. The drinks are very nutritious and take the place of a meal. Sending you prayers and the very best and especially for Dad to be comfortable.

You’re most welcome Carol. Hope that today is a good day for you and your dad.

Hugs,

Gavin

Hi Carol,

Yay! Sounds like a good night indeed! Chicken noodle soup, much tastiness there and I bet that your dad enjoyed what he had of it. Soup will be good for him and that was one of the foods that my dads GI Consultant recommended that he had when he was having some trouble eating. Things such as soup are easier for the body to digest as well.

Best night in 7 weeks, that sounds good to me and like you say hopefully a lot more to come, an awful lot!!

Hugs,

Gavin

Hi Carol,

Real glad to hear that your dads appetite has improved albeit slightly just now and I so hope that that continues and improves as well. My fingers are crossed that the steroids do the job here and I know from my dads experiences that he felt much better when his appetite was good and that he could eat things, he did like his food!

I hear what you say about hospice and all of that and can so imagine how your mum and dad reacted to that talk with the district nurse. Did the nurse say anything about day care centers as my dad went to a Macmillan one and that helped him a lot with dealing with all of this. My dads Macmillan nurse had a similar talk with all of us we felt just like you at the time too. But it could just be the case that they are bringing up the topic of hospice should the need arise at some point in the future. My mum who is also ill, she has COPD and I am are carer as well has had the same talk with her gp just so she knows what options are available in the future should you wish to think about them.

As to life expectancy Carol, I will be honest here and say that no one here can answer that question for you. First off none of us are doctors or oncs etc and we can not give that sort of advice to anyone. Also, statistics are just that, statistics, and they can be shown to prove or not prove anything depending on how someone wants to interpret them. There are statistics out there but my advice to you would be not to focus on them at all and just stay in the now. Myself, I liked to take things one day at a time as none of us knows exactly what lies around the corner or does not. We can not predict the future.

I so know that this is such a tough time for you Carol but please try and stay strong. I will say again that we are all here for you always.

Hugs,

Gavin

Hi Carol,

Welcome to the site although I so wish that you did not have to find us all here. Real sorry to hear what you, your mum and of course your dad are going through right now. But I am glad that you’ve joined us all here as you are in the best place for support and help and you will get loads of each from all of us here.

I too am from Scotland, in Dundee and like you I am also an only child so I so know what you are going through right now. My dad was diagnosed back in 2008 and like your dad as well his cancer came out of the blue. He too seemed very healthy, had recently retired and had just gone 64 and was in good health. Then the jaundice appeared and he was hospitalised and we got the news of inoperable CC. We all so know that feeling you talk of of things happening so fast with this. That is very common with this cancer and like Marion says, the silent disease that then comes out of nowhere.

Being an only child I too had nowhere to go really after my dads diagnosis and that is what led me here and I too feel that you coming here will help you as much as it did for me back then so please keep on coming back here. Whet helped me back then was in coming here I was around people who so knew what I was going through and how I felt and I feel that will benefit you as well.

Does your dad have the services of a Macmillan nurse? If not then I would strongly recommend that you get one sorted as they will be invaluable to you all. We got one after my dads diagnosis and she helped us so much. Like you, it was just me, mum and my dad and I would say to take all of the help that you can all get. Your dads GP or specialist at the Beatson will be able to refer your dad for one and he is entitled to them. The day to day carers will be of great help to your mum in the day to day care things but the Mac nurse will make things easier I would argue.

Right now I know that your head is still spinning with everything, that is normal and we have all gone through that. You are not alone in this now and we are here for you. Please keep coming back and if we can help in any way then please just ask and we will do what we can.

My best wishes to you and your dad,

Gavin