Reactive lymph node or nodal metastasis

Hello everyone. I have asked a question before on this discussion board and so I thought I would go ahead and ask another one.

I am 5 months into chemo (gem/cap) with one more month to go and then 5 weeks of radiation after that. I just recently had my 5 month scan to see how everything is going inside and things weren’t as good as I had hoped. Just a little recap: I had liver resection in April and they were able to get everything, with the exception of a few close margins but they were confident everything looked good. I did NOT have nodal metastasis at the time of my surgery.

Now, the 5 month scan I just had a couple weeks back showed a weird looking lymph node near the original tumor site. This lymph node sits in between two major blood vessels, and so my doctor (from MSK) does not want to go in and remove anything just yet, he says if anything they want another biopsy. He informed me it could be one of two things, 1. a reactive lymph node due to chemo/surgery/trauma, etc. or 2. nodal metastasis. I am absolutely petrified. I cannot even think straight, I am so nervous my 6 month scan is going to show something again and that it will be nodal metastasis.

Has ANYONE had a reactive lymph node before?? I don’t even know what to search online because I am afraid of what I’ll come across if I try and search this on my own. Any bit of information helps. I am just really scared this has spread even while on a lot of chemo/treatment and if that’s the case, I’m scared that more treatment won’t help.

Thank you all so so so much.