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Stay hopeful- never look at time dates.
In time, hopefully many years away, you will look back at how strong you were and feel great pride in how you enjoyed life with your mom, everyday even the really tough ones.Dear Roni-
I hope so much that you and your mom don’t spend time with regrets about chemo- I don’t even know what to say to alleviate the pain that comes with that terrible emotion.
As Marion says, take pride in the great care you take of your mom- your journey is a difficult one.Dear Sowfi-
I am sorry you are in such a bad place- the only thing I can offer is the book, Next to You, written by Gloria Hunniford, in a moving account of her daughter Caron’s battle with breast cancer. She had opted for complimentary therapy. It might help you deal with this somehow.Adam,
I was told by our district nurse that she and her team would get me through those difficult days and they did. I have wonderful memories to share with her even in those final days. Our little girl stood and rubbed cream into David’s feet in his final hours. Don’t be afraid to lie down beside Petra. I slept in bedside David on his final night even though it was just a hospital bed.
Now it is our darling daughter who gets me through. Take care.I agree- symptoms are vague but do not ignore any shortness of breath. If your husband is staying in bed it can be easy to develop a chest infection. See the doctor sooner rather than later. Physio can provide breathing excercises if he is in bed a lot to help keep lungs clear.
Here here! Steve Jobs made a wonderful commencement address – follow the link http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html
Dear Pgaska,
Please take pride in the care that you took of your mother- it was clear from your posts how much you loved and hoped for your mom.
I am so sorry for your loss.
CGood news Johanna- Stable is good, really good – enjoy it as you deserve it.
It takes a 6 month break from chemo in general to consider it a true “break” with regards to your body and the “half life” of the drugs- so 7 months is normal in general terms- as for CC there is not really a normal. As long as the disease is not active I guess leave it be!Good news Johanna- Stable is good, really good – enjoy it as you deserve it.
It takes a 6 month break from chemo in general to consider it a true “break” with regards to your body and the “half life” of the drugs- so 7 months is normal in general terms- as for CC there is not really a normal. As long as the disease is not active I guess leave it be!This may not be what you want to hear- this is only my experience please remember that.
My husband wanted to live maore than I could possibly express, our daughter wasn’t 2years old-
These words ring strong in those final days-
Because they can give chemo doesn’t mean it is the right decision.
Never think you are giving up on your loved one- I still haven’t given up on my late husband, I feel him close to me tonight- as a carer- spouce, child, parent, friend- sometines we need to let go and that is our hardest part.
I hope these words read as gentle as they are intended.
All my best to you.Thanks everyone-
I am sorry for being down- I try so hard to be up sometimes it all falls down-I am tired of being sad- I feel physcially different, heavier. I look at photos of us together and I remember how happy we were. I long to feel that lightness and happiness but is is gone. Grief is consuming and it comes in waves when I am least expecting it- I was on the phone to my sister and her husband was laughing a really hearty laugh with their two kids in the background- should be a lovely sound but when I hung up I cried sore for me, for my husband and for our daughter.
I am sorry Lainy- I hadn’t even read your post properly. I was so taken by the first post.
Memories are so very important, it gets me through these days- I meant not to worry just because memories make themselves sometimes. Didn’t mean to contradict you at all.Get support from medical team- no one should suffer pain or agititation with the excellent palliative care available. It is better knowing what the stage of the disease is rather than second guessing. Regardless- the truth is always easier to deal with.
Try not to worry about memories today- today just be with your wife and that will be enough for now. Stay close to her- you both need each other now.
I feel for you- If you are struggling take a couple of minutes and breathe in for 7 seconds and out for 11.
Stay in touch-
CCase 53: My husband 41 years was diagnosed with stage IV cholangiocarcinoma May 2010 with mets in both lobes of liver, (rendering it unsuitable for surgery), ribs, spine and pelvis.
His only symptoms prior was painless jaundice for a week or so.
He had a metal stent put in place to drain the bile and started on GEM/CIS July-November 2010- 6 cycles of 3 weeks in total.
The chemo was well tolerated initially however half way through blood counts were suffering and the dose was reduced- frequent infections requiring heavy antibioitics.
He was doing okay from Dec- April, started on dexamethasone for a boost to energy & appetite- CT scans showed “stability” with tumours in liver.
Continued feeling okay in large- but legs were weaker early in June, (prior to this he would have walked every morning)Scan results in 13th June 2011 showed the disease was active again- liver function was not fit for chemo at present- doubled steroids as a last ditch attempt.
My darling husband passed away 22nd June 2011 after a very dramamtic and short deterioration, within 56 hours.
I have no doubt that he received the very best medical care & treatment known at present. Chemo for us was always palliative although we couldn’t acknowledge it.
We reside in UK
