darla
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darla
SpectatorIrene,
I am so sorry for what you have gone through, but as you said, you are still here and that is something. I am hoping that you are doing OK and that your scan will go well.
Your posting has given me some comfort & understanding. Our ordeal with this horrible disease only last 7 weeks (although, I am still dealing with it) and I often felt it was unfair that we did not know sooner what we were dealing with or that we should have had a chance to fight it or be better prepared for the inevitable, but maybe that is the “lucky” part for us. I didn’t see it as lucky then, but in retrospect, maybe not knowing wasn’t a bad thing. Jim lived his live to the fullest until the last weeks when this awful cancer took over. I know now that knowing is not always a good thing, but I am hoping that you too will be able to live your life as normally as possible and get the most out of whatever time you have. We can always hope for a breakthrough in helping or curing this monster. Miracles do happen. One never knows what the future will bring.
Take care Irene. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers.
Peace Love & Hugs,
Darladarla
SpectatorLina,
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother, but as you said, she is no longer suffering & is at peace and will remain in your heart & memories forever. Your friends tribute is beautiful & very moving. We are all here for you when you need comfort & strength to go on. Know that you will be in my thoughts & prayers.
Peace, Love & Hugs,
Darla
darla
SpectatorI’m glad to hear that she is resting more comfortably now & that you are also feeling a bit better. Dealing with all of this is just so hard on everyone. Just remember that you can come here whenever you want or need to for comfort, help & support. This site & the people on it are all such wonderful caring & giving people. We all know & understand what you & your family are going through as we have all been there ourselves. Take care. I will keep you & your family in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
darla
SpectatorLWilson,
I am so sorry for what your Mom, you & your family are going through. I too feel that keeping her comfortable & pain free is most important for her right now. Support of your family & friends is also important for all of you to help you to stay strong. I will keep you & your family in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
darla
SpectatorIt’s been almost 8 months since I lost my husband & I don’t have the answers either. I seem to be functional at some level, but it is always a struggle. All those feelings are still there, just below the surface. I wake up thinking it was all a terrible nightmare & he will be here beside me. Our lives have all changed drastically because of this monsterous cancer & I don’t think it will ever be the same. We can’t go back. Joyce C said it feels like we are living in an “altered reality” and I think she is so right. I don’t think a lot of the feelings will ever go away. We just learn how to live with them & go on. I was told that grieving is a testament to your love for that person. The more you loved someone and the longer the relationship the more you will need to grieve. I’m not sure there are any good answers. All I can tell you is that we just keep going, putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with things as they come at us, one day at a time. Atleast it seems that what we are all going through is “normal” (what ever that is at this point) as we are all feeling the same things. That is somewhat comforting, but it doesn’t make it any better.
darla
SpectatorHi All,
Just checking in with everyone. Pauline it sounds like you had a nice weekend. It does seem like once it is over tho’ & everyone goes there own way, we are back to being alone with our thoughts & sadness. It is a vicious circle and is totaly exhausting isn’t it? I think both you & Janet are right, it comes in waves of ups & downs but it never truely goes away. It is always with us. Even when we are with others. I think you are right Pauline. Most people do mean well, but just don’t really know what to say or do. I don’t think they really mean to be harmful or insensitive, but sometimes it does seem that way doesn’t it?
Janet & Joyce, it sounds like you both got in a little shopping to occupy yourselves. I am doing that tomorrow.
Everyone try to have a decent week. I will be thinking of all of you, as always. Take care.
Love,
Darladarla
SpectatorDear LuLuu,
I don’t think any of us have really figured that out yet, but we are trying. For now all I can tell you is to keep putting one foot in front of the other & take things as the come. One day at a time. Some times when things get really overwhelming I think we have to deal with things one moment at a time.
We do have one thing on our side. This site & all of the great people on it. Come here often when you need support or even just to vent your feelings. It does help. We all know what its like and we are all here for you when you need us.
Know that I am thinking of you & hoping that you are OK. Take care LuLuu.
Love & Hugs,
Darladarla
SpectatorHello,
I would also like to welcome you. I am glad you have found this site, but sorry that you have a need to be here. It is true that there is nothing common or normal with this type of cancer. It seems to have a mind of its own & treats everyone differently. I too think a second opnion would be helpful. Search the site as you will find a lot of helpful information. Also, ask the doctors a lot of questions and keep asking until you get the answers. I am sorry for what your Mom, you and your family are going through. I will keep you all in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
darla
SpectatorI too am so sorry for what you and your family are facing, but glad you have found this site. Everyone here is so loving, caring & supportive and are here to help. Even if it is only to listen if you need to vent your feelings. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts & prayers.
Darla
darla
SpectatorDear Vincent,
I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone has already said it so well and I agree with all that has been said. Your Mom no longer has to suffer the pain of this horrid disease. She is at peace and will always be with you in your heart and memories. From your posts I feel that she was a wonderful caring mother who raised wonderful caring children. You can be so proud.
I know she will be there to witness your graduation and she will be so proud of you.
You & your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Darla
darla
SpectatorDear Janet,
One day a week does sound doable. You are lucky to have a job that is in demand and that they are willing to work with you.
I think that well meaning people just don’t realize how their comments affect those of us who are living with this horrible grief. Unless they have been there they just can’t understand. Everyone is different and every situation is different. I feel that grieving is a personal process & everyone that goes through it has to work through it at there own pace. I too have people comparing me to others and get all these comments about it’s been 6 months so you must be adjusting or after a year it will get better. You have to go on, he would not have wanted you to be so sad or alone. How do they know? We were a couple for 45 years and you just can’t get over it in a few months or even a year.
For me personally, I feel that what we have been through, watching someone we love deteriorate so quickly & ultimate dying from this horrible type of cancer and the effect it has on the family is unique to us. There is nothing I can think of that could have possibly been worse. Under the circumstances, I feel that we are all coping quite well.
Atleast here on this site everyone knows how we feel & what we are going through as they are all experiencing it too. We are so lucky to have a place we can go where every understands. As Joyce said, all we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other & deal with life one day at a time. I think we all feel empty inside and that right now we are all just exisiting, not really living our lives fully. For now, if that is the best we can do, that is OK.
Now I’m rambling. I guess we need to do that sometimes too.
Everyone take care and try to have a nice holiday weekend.
Love & Hugs,
Darladarla
SpectatorThanks Mary. I hope that you and Tom have a nice Easter also. I read your other post & don’t have any answers for you but I will be hoping & praying for the best results for Tom on his next MRI.
Love & Hugs,
Darladarla
SpectatorLD,
I am so glad that you replied to Marjo. After reading your post I too began to wonder. My husband has been gone for 7 months & I also have gotten a lot from this site. This is truely a monster of a cancer to deal with. I don’t think anything else can compare to what those of us who have dealt with it have gone through. I like you know that I did the best I could with the circumstances we were given and that our husbands are in a better place & no longer in pain, but it is still hard to accept and go on. We all miss him so much and I am still so sad & lonely. It just rips your world apart to watch someone you love be taken away from you so swiftly by this horrible disease. I will now be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers along with everyone else on this site who has been touched by this awful type of cancer. I hope that things are going OK for you as I too know what it is like & how hard it is to go on.
Darla
darla
SpectatorPhoebe,
I am happy for the success you have had fighting this disease and congratulations on being a survivor. I am sure from all your reading you have found that this cancer does not play fair and treats everyone differently. Getting another opinion is a great idea. I have no other suggestions, as our situation was not like yours. I am sure others will be on board shortly who will have some helpful advice for you. I am glad you have found this site and sorry you have the need to be here having been diagnoised with CC. I am hoping for more clean margins and success in beating this horribly disease.
Darla
darla
SpectatorHi Everyone,
So many sad things going on in this world of ours & it just seems to magnify our own grief, doesn’t it?
Sue & Joyce I am thinking of you as you reach the 6 month mark and hoping you are doing OK. All of these days are so hard to cope with, but we just can’t seem to forget can we?
Sue, I am hoping that your holiday will help you through. I hope you can enjoy it and have a nice time. It does sound like a fun thing to do.
Patty, I also am glad to hear that your family seems to be in a safe area.
Janet, If you do decide to go back to work, take it slow & I hope it all works out for the best for you.
Joyce, I will be hoping for better weather for all of us!
Pauline, You are so right, It really does seem like we are living a totally different life than we were a year ago. I think we all want our old life back & our husbands here with us. Last Easter we didn’t even know about CC. Jim seemed healthy with no symptoms. Now this Easter he has already been gone over 7 months. I still keep thinking that I wish I could go back to the beginning of last summer & just stay there forever.
Most people think that I am doing OK & getting back to normal, what ever that is now, but as you said, inside I am still so sad & lonely and think about all of what happened all the time & still can not believe that this has really happened to us. I also feel like some people think I need to have a better attitude, not be so negative, but they just don’t understand, do they?
I am glad that you are getting some comfort from your dreams of Anthony.
I still don’t seem to dream much & still have a hard time remembering them when I wake up. I am hoping that will change. Maybe something in me is blocking that for now. Who knows.I too have a hard time concentrating on reading, but tend to do better with books that relate to the situation that we are in. As you said, there do not seem to be any answers to all of this, so we all just have to keep on going & try to work our way through it all in our own way.
I will be thinking of all of you on this Easter weekend & hoping that we will all be able to get through it as best we can.
Everyone take care.
Love & Hugs,
Darla -
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