darla
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Kirsten,
I think we all have that same love/hate feeling about hating to have to be here but being glad that we are.
Such good news for your Dad. I’m sure his trip will be memorable.
Love & hugs,
DarlaTess,
I am so sorry you have to go through all of this, but I have come to find out that there is no short cut. It is part of the journey & the grieving process that we are all going through. All of our time & energy for so long went into taking care of our loved ones & now we have this hugh void to fill. I too try to keep busy, but nothing can truely fill the void. It is always there.
I also have that beautiful poem & read it daily & sometimes more often when I am feeling really low.
I get so much strength, comfort & support from the great people on this site. Stay with us as I am sure it will be very helpful to you too.
Take care & remember we are all here for you. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaRose May,
I am so sorry for all the delays & frustrations that you are experiencing. I don’t know the answer either, but am hoping for the best for you and just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDeb,
Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow & in the future. That goes for all the rest of you too.
Hugs,
DarlaHannah,
I am so sorry for your loss & know first hand what you & your family are going through.
Everything you posted is so close to what my husband & I, along with our family, experienced. I keep saying that he died only 7 weeks from his first symptoms, but after reading your post & thinking back, he also had some slight pain in his legs & tiredness for several weeks before that for which the doctors could not find a cause. This disease is so unpredictable & it is different for everyone. I take some comfort in the fact that my husband & your mother-in-law did not suffer for too long & are now in a better place no longer suffering or in pain. She is now reunited with the love of her life. Right now I feel that is the only thing I truely look forward to. I know they will be in our hearts & memories forever, but that does not make it any easier for those of us left behind. When it happens so quickly it is all so surreal. After over 6 months I still have a hard time believing this has really happened.
This site and all the wonderful caring people on it along with the belief that our loved ones are still near by watching over us are what gives me the strength to go on. Hopefully this will be comforting to you also.
Know that you & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Karen,
I am so sorry for your loss. I truely understand the sadness & pain that you are feeling. Just know that he will live forever in your heart & memories. The blessing is that he is now at peace, in a better place & no longer suffers the pain of this horrible disease. I will pray for peace & comfort for you & your family in the days that follow. I will keep you all in my thoughts & prayers.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaAmy,
Congratulations! Thanks for sharing. What a wonderful blessing. I am so happy for all of you. You are all in my thoughts & prayers too.
Darla
Thanks for sharing your good news Terry. It is good to hear that someone is winning the battle against this beast. Hope is always a good thing.
Darla
Dear Pauline,
I think you are absolutely right. We have all been through so much. For me it was only 2 months, for the rest of you it was a lot longer, but it sure does drain the life right out of you, doesn’t it? I am still tired and exhauasted all the time. It was all so stressful & traumatizing. I am sure it will affect us all to different degrees and in different ways forever. The thought that this all means we are strong & resiliant is somewhat comforting & hopeful.
It really would be great if we were able to get together & talk things over and give each other comfort & support when we are feeling like this, but I guess for now this is the next best thing. Atleast with the internet we can reach out to each other. When the whole internet, computer thing first started, I was not real interested, but I thank God we have it now. without it I would be lost.
I also have things that I should probably be taking care of, but I am just too weary to be bothered right now, especially with all we are dealing with now.
Take care everyone & do the best you can do to get by.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Sue,
I’m sorry that you are also going through such a rough patch. It appears that we are all having a hard time of it right now. I guess that the only upside of this is that we all have each other to rely on for strength, understanding & comfort.
Business here has been slow too, but what else am I to do? I also have issues with trying to take care of things that Jim normally would have handled & feeling like I am being taken advantage of at every turn.
It is so easy for others to tell us to replace the reminders of those last days with good memories, but they just don’t understand, do they? It is hard to forget & it comes back to haunt you when you least expect it.
Hopefully the gardening will help fill some time for you & being outside in warmer spring weather should help too. It is so hard no longer being part of a couple, but just a woman alone.
I often think, how much easier it would be to deal with all of this if Jim were here to talk to about these things, but in the same respect, if he were here I wouldn’t be having these problems & feeling so down. How unfair is that!
I think it is good you booked the holiday to Greece, as now you are motivated to go & hopefully you will enjoy it.
I will hope for the best for all of us for the weekend and beyond.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Tess,
I too will be thinking of you today & praying for strength for you to help you through this sad day. You will connect with your Dad again, & you are right, this can not be done among strangers. You will know when it is the right time & place. My thoughts & prayers are with you today.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaTracy,
I too feel the way you do about not taking anything or anyone for granted & also am not being real successful at it, but I will keep trying.
I think what you did for your Mom was a wonderful tribute to her & just what she would have wanted. It may have been unconventional, but just right for her. You might want to think about starting that new business, it would probably be very successful!
Take care & know that I am thinking of you.
Darla
Hi Everyone,
Pauline, I was thinking about Sue too. It has been 5 months for both her & Joyce and since we all seem to be feeling pretty low these days I was wondering how she is doing. I hope she is OK. I also had some issues with the hospital, and had initially complained while Jim was still alive & in the hospital. Shortly after he passed away I had to deal with it all again, & know how you feel. It just brings it all back and you have to wonder if it will do any good or if they even truely care or are they just humoring us by letting us submit our complaints? As you said, it is just one more thing we really don’t need to be going through.
It seems that we just keep moving on through life doing the same things over & over, but the sadness & loneliness is always with us, isn’t it? I don’t think I even know what normal is any more. I don’t find any real happiness in anything I do. I just keep trying to fill the days & nights as best I can. I miss Jim just as you do Anthony, Pauline and know what you mean about feeling so sad & empty inside. I feel like a part of my died when he did.
Joyce, I know that you are feeling the same way about Butch as I am sure Sue is also about Ray. I hope you are feeling a little better today. It seems these feelings just come over us in waves at times, doesn’t it?
Thinking back, I can hardly believe how all of our lives have changed so drastically in the past year. I am sure that a year ago none of us thought we would be here alone now. A year ago, both Jim & I appeared to be healthy and thought we had many years ahead of us yet. Little did we know that 6 months later he would be gone. It’s easy to say that atleast our husbands are no longer in pain or suffering from CC and that we should remember all the good things about our lives, but it still doesn’t take away the pain, sadness, loneliness & emptiness we all feel inside, does it?
Sue, let us know how you are doing.
We are all so lucky to have found each other. It does help to know that others understand and are going through the same things that you are.
Everyone take care and I will be hoping that we will all begin to feel a little better soon. Until then all we can do is keep taking those tiny steps forward and deal with life one day at a time.
Everyone take care. I too am thinking of all of you.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Tracy,
What a lovely story. It also brought tears to my eyes. Both you & your Mom are incredibly amazing people. I am so sorry that you lost her the way you did, but I too think that the Monarch butterflies are her way of letting you know that she is OK and still with you, watching over you. My thoughts & prayers are with you at this sad time.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHeather,
I think ljg said it well. Grieving is such a personal thing. You can’t change it or rush it. It is a process that we are all going through & it is different for each of us. It can’t be rushed.
You are on the right course for you. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other & take it as it comes, one day at a time or even one moment at a time if necessary. That is what I am doing and that is how I get through each day.
Stephanie, I feel a lot as you do as my husband passed so quickly that I too felt there was so much left unsaid & undone. It does help to know that we are not alone & that everyone here understands.
God bless all of you. You are all in my thoughts & prayers everyday.
Love & Hugs,
Darla
