dave
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Again thanks to all of you who helped so much with the answers along the way as to what was happening and what to expect. Jeff G RIP what a help he was God bless us all
No you are not a bad son. We buried my dad last friday. My mother definitley needed the breaks. we would break it up in shifts with family members and health care pros. sometimes Moms /wives feel they are not doing their duty, but they need rest and recharge their batteries. Mom would always say she wouldnt leave but when she got a break she would admit that she needed it. Hang in there. Dave
My wife is at what the doctor calls end stage now. We have a hospice nurse coming 2 times a week. Managing the pain. tumors throughout whole liver biggest one 10cmx9cmx8cm all he would say is her time is “short” she has no jaundice though, and it is still confined to the liver. I am guessing that when it eats up enough of her liver then she will go into liver failure? will it be sudden? She is still active, but doctor says this, so I don’t know what to think. I want to take her on a nice vacation, she wants to wait til its cold, I’m not sure we have that long. Any thoughts?
Hi my name is dave. My wife was dx with stage IV cc in oct. We atarted gemzar and xeloda right away. At first she had a lot of bad side effects, but our doctor and nurses kept working with us and eventually brought the symptoms under control. The key is to tell the dr, everything that yoo are feeling so that they can help. My wife used to go in and say “i’m doing ok” when she wasn’t. Then I would speak upand tell him about the nausea and other stuff, so then he put her on a scopalomine patch and gave her sleeping medicine and now she is sleeping better and the nausea is gone. Been on gemzar and xeloda for 3months now, and she feels fine mostly except for ahe gets tired easy and losing weight. scheduled for a nother scan end of jan. And you are right, they all say that she is gonna die, that this is just to buy time. They told her 3-6 months in oct. Were at 3 now and hopefully she will get more. Hang in there and I would try the chemo just be honest and open to your dr about side affects so he can treat them too. God Bless Dave
marions thanks so much. Yes throwing up even before chemo. Just came from doctor today. He saz that next ssscan end of month. he says she will be dead in a year or less unless something beyond human control happens. he does not even consider there to be a chance for survival tooo far too late. he said he would ony in good conscience do chemo for 6 months just to hold off the tumors to buy time and thats it. Again too many tumors too well developed. palliative only. we aplied for social security today and she quit her job. try and enjoy whatever is left. she is happy to not work. she thought she wanted to stay busy, so went back, but just too much. we love to have input from others as it gives us peace. ty all.
Marions, yes we have had several opinions. The problem is that she has multiple tumors, grape size, throughout her entire liver. They are surrounding her hepatic artery and portal vein. Resection is not an option. Also since she was stageIV when discovered, they said the best option is heavy gemzar and xeloda and “hope for shrinkage” to possibly make it resectable, but probably just buying some time. She weighed 117 pounds at dx in oct. now 104 and going down, not much left, but actually throwing up less. don’t know what that means. all I know is she looks like a holocaust survivor and that cant be good. sleepy all day again today 2 days ago couldnt sleep at all.
Sophie, How kind. I forgot to mention that about every third or fourth night she can’t sleep at all. Thank you for your prayers. We believe it is in Gods hands. My prayers for you as well. This does seem to be one very unpredictable disease. My thoughts and prayers go out to all who read this because there seems to be no rhyme or reason for anything that go’s along with this. Most diseases have a logical progression. Not this. God Bless.
rjoday and robyn, warm greetings from cold ohio and welcome. My wife was dx in october. we started gemzar and xeloda a little less than 2 months ago. Her worst symptoms are fatigue. she sleeps sometimes almost all day. Dr. says that the anti nausea drugs contributing to that. She was discovered in stage IV with multiple grape size tumors throughout the entire liver and therefore surgery not an option. The chemo is to just “buy her time” according to the doctor. She is also nauseous alot usually in the AM for some reason. Food also tastes funny and she does not really enjoy eating. Her last Blood counts were off the charts, but they did the chemo anyway. (which I didn’t understand) Her wbc was 2 with a granular of 572. they said they wouldn’t do it below 1000- 1500 but did it any way! then she felt horrible the rest of the day. Her LY was 72 normal top end is 51. Anyone know what that means? Anyways It sounds like they think that this is the “best chance” or most effective, or last stand chemo I guess. someone correct me if I am wrong. The dr. said she would feel better, but she hasn’t. All I can tell you all that are just starting it, is it seems to be very unpredictable from one day to the next and even one hour to the next. So hang in there and God bless you all. I hope this is helpful or at least informational, as I am still trying to figure out what is going to happen with my wife and my life. Dave
Yes, I agree with the others. My wife takes a crossword puzzle book with her. A bible is good if you believe. Also our room is usually crowded with others and everyone has cancer so it is a good place to listen and share experiences, pick up some healthy eating advice and get the staff to TRY to answer questions. They usually allow me to sit with her too, unless it is real crowded.
Thank you all for your responses. It is very frustrating. I really don’t know how I am supposed to feel. It sounds like what I am feeling is normal. It does help to know that you are not alone. My deepest struggle is that you all have very good advice, but my wife will not even discuss the whole situation. That is why I asked if it was ok to just go on as if everything was gonna be ok. She is acting that way, then she freaks out for a minute, and then goes back to acting like she is fine. We don’t have any wills or plans “just in case”. Her brothers and sisters tell me I am “trying to bury her already” I can’t even talk about it with her family without being accused of it almost being my fault. Thank you all again so much. I really neeeded someone to talk to. I will reread your messages and talk to you again soon. Lord willing. And I will pray for all of you as well. Dave
