gavin

Hi everyone,

Barbara,

What an amazing man your father sounds like! Such a big decision for someone to make to leave his country of birth to persue his dream of a “better life” for his family. It sounds like Roberto has made a great success of his life and dreams in America for all of you, how many people can say that they own their own company! To start and build any company takes hard work, dedication and desire, and it sounds like Roberto has all of these qualities. I know what you mean with regard to parents making sacrafices for their families and their children. My mum was a primary school teacher here in Dundee before she gave birth to me, I think in America this would be called an elementary school teacher? Once I was born, my mum gave up her job and her career, not because she had to, but because she wanted to be there to raise me. This is the way that my parents wanted to raise me, so mum gave up her job to stay home with me. My Dad (Ron), like your dad knows all about hard labour and I guess has a similar educational background to Roberto. He started work at 15 and worked with the same company doing the same job for nearly 50 years, he was a compositor. Mum never went back to teaching or a full time job, not because we had loads of money as a family, we didn’t, but because mum wanted to be at home to raise me and be there for me after school etc. They gave up a 2 income lifestyle, big home, foreign holidays, cars etc to raise me. I’m an only child and they gave up the material things for me when I was young, so I can so relate to what you say with regard to your parents making sacrifices for you then and how you can repay them now with you being there for your father.

It was indeed very hard to hear the word inoperable for all of us, obviously most of all for my dad. He was sitting in a chair with a drip in his arm hanging from one of these tall stands on wheels, mum was sitting in her wheelchair that we got at the hospital entrance. I felt stunned on hearing the word inoperable, but I had to be strong for them both. I guess no one likes to hear stuff like that, but as you know, we all have to deal with it and handle it as best we can.

Your mom sounds like a determined shopper! Driving all that way for a bargain and something on sale! At least now with gas prices falling, she can say to your dad that she no longer has to spend $10 to buy the $4 worth of grapes, the gas now only costs $5!!!!

Marion,

I’m glad you like reading my postings, this is such a great site and it feels good to talk about things, it really does help. Mum has big plans for next week, bingo Monday, bingo Tuesday and shopping on Wednesday! Dad also has big plans, worrying about Mum’s spending on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday! I think my dad’s friends are coming to visit him on Monday, the 3 of them have been mates since the early 1960’s when they were in a band together, the Beatles they were not! I recently saw a picture of them from the 60’s when they were all on holiday in Blackpool. Each of them trying their hardest to look like serious rockers! Although they looked like a trio of hooligans to me!! It does dad good to catch up with his mates and talk and stuff. They used to meet up every month or so for a few beers at a local pub, but now the other 2 come to see dad at home and I know dad feels really good after they visit as they all have such a great laugh together.

Sara,

It’s good to speak to you. I think this is the first time that I’ve posted to you? Wow, Aberdeen sure is a long way from Houston! Are you in the oil business by any chance? I used to have quite a few friends in Aberdeen and have spent many an enjoyable night out up there! A lot colder up there than it is in Houston right now! It would indeed be nice to meet you the next time you visit here. Aberdeen is only 1 hours drive or so from Dundee and I’m sure my parents would love to meet you, as would I.

Cheers and the best to all of us.

Gavin

Hi everyone,

Thanks once agin for your kind words. Well dad went out this morning and it went very well. He got his hair cut and went into his work to see all his friends. It was good for him to catch up everyone and he just sat down whilst they all came to speak to him when they had time. He took it very easy so didn’t get too tired out and sat down when he needed to. I think it has done wonders for his confidence to be able to go out alone, so hopefully he will do more it it. he was tired when he came home so he went to bed for a few hours. Whilst he was sleeping, Mum and I went to the supermarket. This was the first time she had been there in months. We just took it very easily, but she didn’t get all puffed and out of breath even once and she loved it! I think she was very excited about being actually able to spend money again on things she wants! For months and months now, I’ve been doing all the shopping and I try to vary things that I buy for them both. Mum really enjoyed having the opportunity to buy anything that she wants, it was the first time that she had actually handed over cash to someone in a shop for stuff she wanted and this is a big thing for her to be able to do so. Next week she wants to go shopping twice! Dads not fussy, he eats anything and everything that I cook for him!

Barbara,

Hi and welcome to the site, I’m glad you found it and hopefully you will get as much from it as I have. Recently I haven’t had as much time as I would have liked to post on here, but it is an amazing source of support and strength to me and everyone is so warm and welcoming. I’m sorry to hear about your father and that the chemo does not work for him. It sounds to me like you and your family are doing an amazing job of supporting your father through this time. It sounds like your dad and mine are in a similar situation as to how they are dealing with this and with how they may have reacted to what the doctors have told them. I sometimes think how I would react in this situation and how I would cope with it. I like to think that I would want to know everything, both good and bad and deal with it that way. But, I’m not in my dad’s situation so I guess I really don’t know how I would handle this. I do know however how I felt when I heard the word inoperable for the first time when the doctor was talking about my dad’s illness. Right now, we are just going to sit and wait and see what the outcome of the scan on the 23rd brings. If the news is not too good then we will deal with it then.

It’s good that your dad has his business interests to keep him occupied right now and that he keeps up to date with the news and the papers etc. Although I guess that keeping up to date with the stock market these last few months hasn’t made great reading for him! I also love following the markets both here and in the USA but have not had any money invested for a few years. It’s good to hear that you and your family have taken the approach of fighting this disease to win. I have always tried to be as positive as possible with my dad with dealing with all of this. If we don’t have hope and positive thoughts then what have we got?

With regard to my mum, she is 66 and seems to have a greatly improved attitude after yesterday’s session at the gym. It seems like it is on the road back to where it was this summer before dad got sick. When she does the treadmill, it is on the very slowest speed possible right now that she did her 12 minutes. But considering what she was like last year, the slowest speed on a treadmill is like a sprint compared to back then. I am going to keep encouraging her to get to the gym every week, as when she gets better at walking etc and her health improves then so my dad feels better about her health and this makes him happier and less worried. Although the better my mum and her walking gets, the more she will want me to take her shopping and no doubt dad will be worrying about her spending!!!!

Hugs, prayers and the best to all of you and your families.

Gavin

Hi Marion,

Many thanks for your advice and sharing your experinces with me. I Hadn’t thought of using the search forums facility to see if there were any other threads on this, but I will do so now. Thanks also for telling me about what you and your husband did with the blankets. Since my dad never complained of being cold at the time when he shakes and shivers, I would never have thought of that. The doc’s never told us of looking out for a temperature at the same time as shivers or the importance of looking out for this, so thanks also for this. Someone else on this site I think, sorry I forget who, said to watch out for signs of a fever or temperature as this could mean that the stent was becoming blocked. I sure have learned an awful lot from everyone’s experiences here and from their willingness to share them with me and others! Such a great site!

Today we had a good day and a good laugh also. The reikye therapist from the Maggie’s Centre in Dundee came to see my dad for the first time about his lack of sleeping. She explained what a reikye massage involved and what it might do for him, dad explained his sleep problems lately and how annoying it was for him. The therapist explained that some people may fall asleep eventually during the massage, however my dad was a bit sceptical I guess but was up for trying it. My mum and I left the room and let the therapist do what she does. 5 minutes later, she comes out of the room and says my dad was seriously asleep! When we looked in, he looked like Homer Simpson sitting in his chair snoring his head off!! My mum and I had a great laugh at this and when dad woke up he thought it was very funny! It was also good to see his sense of humour was still there.

Thanks for your support Marion and big hugs to you too.

Gavin

Hello CS,

This is indeed a most wonderful site and I am so glad to have found it. I only joined the site very recently but the support and hope has been amazing and I am so grateful to everyone here for this. It really does mean a lot to me. I agree that the unknown can indeed be very frightening, but it helps to know that there are others who feel the same way. I wish both you and your mum all the very best for this fight. I hope you also keep posting.

Best to you both.

Gavin