jclegg
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Tom,
As you can see, we are all with you – wishing you good results, and hoping for the best for you. You are not alone.Joyce C
Dear Majic,
I know what you mean about the speed at which our husbands went “downhill” at the end. It was awful – for us, I mean. I think – for them – it spared them a long drawn out illness where they might have suffered more. I felt that , if he couldn’t be cured, I wanted him to not suffer, and God took him home so he wouldn’t have to suffer. At least in the case of my husband – Butch – the medication kept him out of a lot of pain, and I will alwasy be grateful for that. At least, this is how I try to look at it. Like Darla always says, we wanted more than we got, but at least we did have happiness in our marriages that some people never get to have. I hope you can fing some comfort in these things.
And Charlotte, Heather, and everybody else that has lost a loved one – I am so sorry for your loss, we frieve with you. I am so glad that we have this place where we can all share our sorrow.
Love – Joyce
Magic,
I, too, am so sorry for you loss. Through your grief, which must at times seem unbearable, try to reach back and remember the good times, when you and your husband were together, and shared happy times. It has been a little more than 4 months since I lost my husband – he was 66 years old, and that is what I try to do. When those pictures rise up in my mind – of the final, sad days – I try to block them with memories of all the happy times we had together. We had so many, and I tell myself that great happiness brings great pain with the loss, yet – I wouldn’t trade one minute of those good years now – it was worth it all .
We are all here for you – to listen, and understand. The people on this board – care givers, and patients – are the most wonderful people you will ever meet, and they all know how you feel. We who have lost our husbands need to remember that they would have wanted us to be stong and to go on with our lives. God bless you, and comfort you.Joyce C.
Carol and Karen,
My heart breaks as I read these postings. This “pre-grief” is exactly what I went through with Butch just a short time ago. I pray that God will give you all strength to bear up, and comfort you in your sorrow. We will pray for a cure for this monster, and, in the meantime, write whenever and whatever you like – we will be here for yu.
Joyce C.
Hello All,
I agree – the news is depressing, it does seem like everything has “gone to Hell in a handbasket”, as my Grandma used to say. I’ll tell you a funny story – the other day I read the paper at breakfast like I usually do. There was lots of bad news, and i started reading an article about the Missouri River, and how the riverbed itself is sinking – about a foot a year -endangering pilons for bridges, big cities, all kind of things. Well, I started crying. Now – I live HUNDREDS of miles away from any part of the Missouri river, and I don’t tghink I even know anyone wh does live near it, but I though it was symbolic of the whole sticking mess. So, I sit at my kitchen table bawling over a problem with a river that is sinking! When I think about it now, it’s kind of funny, but – it wasn’t funny that morning! What a crazy world we live in, isn’t it?
It has been in the 50’s today – snow is almost all gone. I am very glad, but I know we have more winter coming – this is just a brief reprieve. Everyone, take care and stay away from the riverbanks!Love – joyce
Hello Friends,
I have come home from church and am preparing to do my daughter’s taxes for her family – she is expecting a very big refund, so is anxious for me to be finished! It was beautiful here yesterday – in the high 40’s. I took Flash for a long walk, swept out the garage (what a mess from the winter), and chipped away at the ice (sadly, we still have ice!). Last night, I had a movie from Netflix – it was “Tuck Everlasting”. My neighbor came over and we watched It was a good movie, and entertained us for a couple of hours.
I have a little poem that they passed out last week at my bereavement support group. It speaks to the issues you were all just talking about, I think. Here it is:Interregnum
The span between life and death
Can be as quick and sudden
As a puff of wind
That blows out a candle.
But the candle does not suffer
After the darkness comes.
It is the person
Left in the dark room
Who gropes and stumbles.Helen Duke Fike
Isn’t this a wonderful description of where we all are? We are groping and stumbling in a dark room. Thank God we have those friends who have remained close to us, we have our families, and we have each other.
I did have a long talk with my boss this week, and I hope I can back off a bit on working all the hours I have been expected to work. It will help me, I believe, as I am not really 100%, as I told him (actually, I am not sure I am even 50% right now), and he reluctantly agreed with me – we’ll see how this goes!
My love to you all,
Joyce
Dear Heather and Emilee,
I write this with tears in my eyes. You and Lee, and Butch and I started on this board about the same time, and I remember when we all went to the Mayo Clinic – we went in early April last year. Lee was so young, and words truly cannot express how sorry I am. We can take comfort in the fact that we know where they went though – we saw them go to the arms of the Lord. That is a big comfort to me, and I hope it is for you. I will be thinking of you, and praying that the Lord watches over you both and comforts you.
Love,
Joyce
Tess,
I don’t believe that I have heard of a case where that number was falling and the tumor was not shrinking – I hope I/m right!Joyce
Good morning neighbor,
I like Joyce M. ‘s diagnosis – I hope you solve this fast and the yello’s all gone. Butch never went thru jaundice (except after the operation), so I don’t know myself.Joyce C.
Charlene,
It is only a little over 2 months for you – it is to be expected that you are still mourning. It has been almost 4 months for me, and it has gotten a bit better – only a bit, but that is something. I do work – I have to – need the money – but – my concentration is out of whack, and I have the attention span of a gnat. I take medication – an anti-anxiety/ anti-depression pill – I probably couldn’t have managed without it. Fortunately, I have been at my employer for 31 years, so they are putting up with me. I joined a bereavement support gruop through the Hospice, and I believe that it is helping me. It is over in 3 weeks, and I may go to a professional bereavement counselor. People who have been through this tell me it helps. You should look into this, too, Charlene. Perhaps a professional can help you through your grieving. I know only too well how terrible you feel, grief does that to us. I believe that we have to keep moving – one foot in front of the other, BUT, that is easier said than done. Our lives have changed, there is no doubt, and we don’t much like the new “normal”, but everyone assures me that it will get easier as time goes by. I will be thinking of you, and wish so much I could help you. We are all here to listen whenever you want to talk.
Joyce C.
Holli,
Congratulations on the new arrival. Sophie must be estatic – she was waiting for this little one to arrive. She sounds beautiful – babies are happiness.Joyce C
Oh Sue – I am so sorry about Poppy.I know what you mean about what a comfort they are – Flashy is my constant companion here. How old was Poppy? Flash just turned 5 on January 19. Thank goodness Sam was there with you – that helped, I am sure. You and Darla are both right – things just seem to pile on, one after another. Anyway, I am glad you got your computer going again! We missed you.
Pauline – was this your 1st snowfall of the season? The Problem with that is – people don’t know how to drive in it yet – takes a while each year for people to get their snow driving straight. Darla and I have been getting snow for weeks and weeks now – and the groundhog – Puxatawney Phil – saw his shadow this morning – that means 6 more weeks of winter – drat!!! I think it said on the news that we havemore snow this year than we have had in 6 years – it figures!
Joyce
Lainy,
Thank you – very interesting- it is nice to see that the veterans administration themselves published this fact sheet – publishing what is available for veterans. If they would do that – publicize the danger to Vietnam Veterans who might know have CC because of parasites in the water supply – they could potentially save some lives, by telling them to GO TO THE DOCTOR.Joyce C
Hi Everybody,
Pauline – that half year mark must be very difficult – Darla and I were talking about all these little “anniversaries” – we can’t help marking them, and some hurt more than others.
I just woke up from a npa, and was talking to Butch’s picture in the bedroom. The talking is one-way – me to him, I know what you mean. I would love to have him talk to me once again.
I guess we just keep going – just like you are doing, and the rest of us too. Grief has it’s rhythms, I guess – it gets a little bit better for awhile, and then – bam – right back in the dumps. I know we all feel that. For awhile, weekends got a bit better, but this weekend (and last one too) are the pits. I guess we just have to have a plan – I try to get out of the house for something, even if it is only – guess what – shopping! It takes my mind off this situation a bit. But I can never really forget it – it is back there, in my mind.
I know what you mean about not wanting to forget, but I hope their memory will never fade from us. When I close my eyes I can see him – how he was before he was ill, and I have hundreds of pictures – wonderful pictures, too. These were great guys, all of them, I can tell by reading what you have all wrote, and I know Butch. They will be with us forever – remember, Butch promised me. That is such a comfort to me, and I hope is to all of you also. They are looking over us, and even though we can’t communicate back and forth, their presense is real. When I am sad, I tell myself this, and – even though I still miss him terribly, I do get comfort from that knowledge.
Everybody try to keep busy and get by the best way you can – we will all be thinking of each other, I am sure, working our way through another weekend, all going through the same thing.Love – Joyce
