jclegg
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Hello everybody,
Yes, pauline – we will all be with you and Marion in spirit – I am so glad you are doing this – It will give you a good feeling, I am sure – to be able to do anything at all to help the cause will give you such a lift.
I know this is a bad time – for you and for Darla. Last year at this time, Butch and I were waiting to go to Pittsburgh – he was operated on July 16. He never recovered from that surgery, and it was stright downhill from there till October. At this time, last year, he was feeling pretty good, also – we played golf the day befroe we left for Pittsburgh – he wasn’t great, but he was up and moving – even painted the shed!!! God love him, when I look back, he was doing a lot around the house – I think he was worried about being able to do it for me, and tried to get some things ready – I didn’t see it then. One day he got up on the roof and cleaned the gutters – i was mad at him, as he really wasn’t well, but he insisted. Yes, I think maybe he knew – I just didn’t. Well – thinking in this pattern isn’t going to get me anywhere except sad, so I better stop it.Hope you all are well, and that you are hanging in here – I just mowed the “north 40” tonight – way up back, beyond our woods – he always mowed the clearing, so I have too! Gives me something to do, and I get my exercise!
Love – Joyce
Charlene,
I am so glad you had that message from John – I, too, am sure he is telling you that he agrees with your plans. It all sounds like such a good plan, and such a help – both for your Mother-in-law and for you. I hope your cat likes to travel! let us know when you reach your new destination safely – we will all be thinking of you.Love – Joyce
I’m a brunette, and she stripped selected hairs and made it blonde – she puts this steel cap woth holes all over on my head, and pulls thru the hairs she selects to make blonde. So – instead of making me blonde all over – I got a a “frost” job (it hides the fact that I am greying, which is just starting) – I like it better than doing the whole thing.
Joyce
Janet – I am glad to hear the conjunctivitis is getting better – that is nasty stuff . I hope you are beating the blues back – I know it is hard, we just have to keep trying. I think we are all still up and down – I just always hope that the “ups” last longer and longer. I am glad you are back at work – I hope it helps you to mend a bit?
Darla – I DO like the frost job on my hair – it looks nice, I think. I know what you mean – we miss them every day, and the lonely spot is always there, but we have to keep on the path ahead of us, whereever the heck that is taking us!
Sue and Pauline – we are envious, and want for all of us to meet for coffee! Wouldn’t that be great? Well – maybe cyber coffee!
Cyndi – I give you a lot of credit for speaking at the service – it was all I could do to say a couple of sentences that Butch had asked me to convey – I almost didn’t get that out! As for that knee surgery – we might as well face it – we will all probably have to get it done someday! My Mom had both knees done, (she is 82 now) and now my Dad is on his 2nd knee – it seems to go with aging.
Anyway – I am off to bed – rainy night, should be good sleepiong.
Love – Joyce
Hello everyone,
I hope you all are doing OK – I am halfway through a work week, and tired tonight. Tomorrow I going to have my hair frosted – big excitement for me – what will i look like?Janet – we haven’t heard from you in a long time – what is going on? Have you gone back to work? Is everything OK? Let us here from you.
Love – Joyce
Carrieann,
I am so sorry. That seems so inadequate to say, it is just that words fail us at a time like this. You are a wonderful daughter, and thankfully, you were able to be there for your Mom at the end. You will always have that – knowing that you were able to do that. Our loved ones are in a better place now, as I am sure that you know, it is just that we are left behind in this world without them. Thank God we know we will see them again one day! What a glorius thought, don’t you think?Love – Joyce
Danielle,
I am so sorry to hear of Jim’s passing. As you go through these next days and months, try to keep in mind that Jim is in a far better place now, where there is no pain and suffering. Remember all the good times, and I am sure there were many, and always look toward the light. May God grant you strength and peace.Love – Joyce C.
Charlene,
I have found it is very difficult for people to understand this grief process, and the amount of time it takes us to process through it – in addition, I am sure it is different for everybody, and – it takes what it takes – we sure can’t hurry it along. Butch was my 2nd husband, but – my Grandchildren never knew any other Grandpa, and he and my daughter were very close, so they are all grieving themselves – I guess it is a different situation from yours. I am so sorry that your family can’t be more supportive – Lainy is right, maybe if you tried talking to them again, you could help them understand, and they could be more supportive of you? It would help you to feel a little less alone, I believe.
I went back to work a couple of weeks after Butch passed away (it has been almost 8 months now) , and I find it helpful – it takes my mind off my “aloneness”. I still am sad when I start home at night – I know I am coming home to an empty house – but, I stay as busy as I can, I have my little dog here, and, as time is passing, I get more accustomed to thi new life. I found a new church and have made some friends there, and I did attend grief counseling, but didn’t fine it very helpful. My advice to you is to try to find something to occupy your time and your mind – you probably won’t even enjoy things at first, but just try. I know it seems like a bother right now, but occupying my time has been my salvation. I bring my Granddaughters here for the weekend every 3rd weekend, At first it was so hard, because Butch and I always had them here together, but I have pressed on, and it is getting better – not good, I say, but – better.
Lastly, I took medicine (quite a bit of it) for a long time, although I am almost off it now. I took an anti-depressant, and it helped me tremendously. I don’t think I could have functioned without that medication, so I am greatful that my Doctor prescribed it.
Stay in touch with us and let us know how you are doing. We care, Charlene, and wish so much there was some way to help you.Love,
Joyce
Dear Cyndi,
I just read your posting. I am so, so sorry for your loss, and we do understand how you feel. We are all trying to learn how to live this new life, and we liked the old life much better, the one where we all had our husbands and life was good. We just bumble along, leaning on each other for comfort now, and at least we do have each other, so it makes it much easier. I don’t like to think that people are deliberately unkind – they just have absolutely NO idea what this is like, and I think they don’t like to face either us or the situation – it makes them “uncomfortable”, I think. You are right , though, it is almost as if we died ourselves. It does get better, Cyndi – not good, but better. We “adjust” a bit, and the pain is not as sharp. We will be here for you anytime you need us.Love – Joyce
Hello Everyone,
Pauline and Sue – we would so love to be able to be there to meet up also – it got me thinking again about plans to have a vacation together next winter – I hope those plans come togetehr and we are able to do that.
I took an extra day off this week and worked on the weeding of my gardens – I love to garden, but there is an awful lot of work involved, isn’t there? Last weekend my Granddaughters stayed with me, and yesterday was ALex’s 15th birthday, so I have been busy – I like to stay busy, just not QUITE as busy!!
The weather here is indefinite, also – some beautiful days, and a lot of rain. I reseeded my lawn, so the rain is welcome. I also had a new concrete walkway poured (the old one was bad), new driveway, and new retaining wall out front. It looks very nice, and I am pleased. The problem is, everytime I do something, I am happy, but then I start thinking that Butch should be here to enjoy it with me, and – he should be! Life just isn’t fair, and I guess it is going to stay that way!
I do find that I am up and down – missing Butch, always, and only able to enjoy fleeting moments of enjoyment before the darkness settles in again. Last night I dreamed – just before I woke up from the chair to go to bed – that Butch was here and went ahead into the bedroom and called tot he living room and told me to wake up and come to bed. It was so real – I thought it was true for just a moment 0 then i realized I was alone. I dream of him so seldom, it was uncanny – how real it felt.
I am going to get out there and mow the “North 40” before it gets too warm, so – everyone – my thoughts are with you all as we move along life’s highway.
Love, Joyce
Peace, strength, and healing for you and for Jim – prayers are going straight up. I believe in angels, and felt them hold my husband and I up when we needed their help most – I pray they will be with you and surround you both.
Joyce C.
Jamie,
I am so sorry for the bad news that you have received. I know how discouraging it is to hear the Doctor’s unhelpful, unhopeful prognosis. However, keep on fighting, and looking for a treatment avenue to pursue. I agree with the others – you be as aggresive as you want – it is your choice, and your life, and no one should take that choice away from you.Joyce C.
I am so, so sorry to hear about Fiona. I am sure that it meant a lot to both of you for her to make it to your 5th anniversary. I will be thinking about you, and wishing that you be comforted in your grief.
Joyce C.
Dear Kris,
Many, many good thoughts coming your way from here – We are backing you – top of the line in that 1%, I just know it.Joyce C.
