jennifers
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Well we got the CT results, and it’s not good news. The cancer has spread throughout Dad’s peritoneum (lining of the stomach), and possibly other areas as well… I’m not too sure. He also does have some ascites, but not enough to be drained. This has all happened since his CT in February when there was no change, so it’s obviously spreading pretty quickly now. Our only goal is to keep him comfortable, which is proving to be more difficult then we would like.
Every time we get news, I think I’m going to be okay. I actually WAS okay when I heard, since realistically we know that this would be the time we wouldn’t get good news. I WAS okay until I got home and realized that my husband was out for a few hours, my baby is in bed, and even the dog isn’t here… it’s quiet, I’m sad, and I am having a good cry and a glass of wine. The cry (and wine) will do me good, and then I’ll get back to being strong for Dad. I hate this.
Jen
Thanks everyone… from reading the other posts, it sounds like the methadone should hopefully help. It may make him sleep more (which doesn’t seem possible since he’s rarely up as it is), but at least if he’s asleep, he’s not hurting.
Lainy – he has a bed waiting for him. He is getting his CT right now, and will be moved right up to the unit from there. He had another horrible night at home, which must be so exhausting not only for him, but for Mom and my brother Chad (who moved back home to help out — so thankful for that, but I can’t imagine it’s easy for him either). Right now our one and only focus is to get the pain under control again. It really is the most helpless feeling in the world, but we are all managing to be strong and keep smiles on our faces for Dad…. around him anyway
I will be going up to see him after work tonight, and am hoping that they are well on the way to making him comfortable by then. Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers – thinking of you all as well.
Jen
Andie – I second everything everyone else is saying – you are an incredibly loving daughter, and I’m sorry for the stress you are going through. Thinking of you, and hoping things get better for you soon. Oh, and ENJOY every second in Florida – it was your Dad’s dream to see you go. Nothing in the world should spoil a second of the trip… he’ll be watching over you and loving every moment…
Jen
Thanks for the positive thoughts everyone! It’s definitely been a hard bit of time. He had a great day yesterday – he ate more then he has in weeks, and was up and about (he even went for a haircut)! Today, not so good… the absolute ONLY way to describe this cancer is a rollercoaster from hell!
Some good news for my family though – my husband has recently been diagnosed with a rare disease / disorder, and he had tests done today. I’ve been sick to my stomach for weeks terrified of the results (it’s often a deadly disease), and the results were fantastic! Although there is some damage to the artery from his lung to his heart (due to chronic blood clots he keeps getting in his lungs), there is NO heart damage at this point (luckily they caught it early enough), and if it starts to get worse (hopefully being on blood thinners for the rest of his life will keep things stable), surgery will be an option. Although it’s a scary surgery, at least there IS an option.
Breathing a sigh of relief tonight – I can handle one crisis at once, but I wasn’t sure I was going to manage dealing with both!
Love to all!!
Jen
Ha ha ha ha… Gavin, you made me actually laugh out loud… I’m glad you’re not in such desperate need of a new shower head that you choose to click on the span link either!!
Glad Rick is taking care of the messages as they appear.
Jen
Hi Lourdes,
That is the combination Dad was on. I believe (and if my Mom reads this she may be able to add more), that the first few days he felt okay (I think because of the meds that gave to counteract the chemo, possibly including a steroid), and then a few bad days when the meds wore off. He was definitely tired after the first couple of days, and spent a fair bit of time sleeping. He did not lose his hair, and I don’t remember him being sick at all, although, again, he was on anti-nausea medication that would have helped with that.Good luck to your Dad with his chemo – I hope it goes well, and the side effects are minimal!!
Jen
Well things have not improved much, in fact once a bed opens up, Dad is going to be re-admitted to the hospital. Easter was tough. He made it to our family’s house, but wasn’t able to do anything but make his way to bed and sleep. It was sad listening to him say goodbye when we left, and he got pretty emotional. I hate seeing him sad… the pain our loved ones go through, both physically and emotionally is so hard to watch – I think of how sad it all makes me, and can’t imagine what he must be going through knowing all the things he will miss. It’s awful.
They are admitting him because he is still in pain, and clearly not doing well. They found that there is still stool (the jug of “stuff” apparently didn’t do the trick), and want to see if they can come up with a plan to try to clear him out, so to speak. They also think he may have signs of ascites (which is what my Mom assumed, since a 5 pound weight gain in a week for a man that doesn’t eat or drink doesn’t make much sense). We so desperately didn’t want him to have to deal with that, since we know it can be painful. Hopefully they can come up with a plan once he’s in and at least make him comfortable.
Thinking of you all, and will keep you updated.
Jen
Stacey,
I’m so sorry to hear of your Dad’s passing. Thankfully he was pain free – a blessing during such a difficult time. My thoughts and prayers with you and your family – we are all here for you…
Jen
Well, unfortunately Dad’s really not doing well. He was brought back to the hospital on Wednesday, and released again at about 3:00am on Thursday morning, with a big jug of stuff to drink to try to help his bowels out a bit. They were hoping constipation was cause for his discomfort. Although I do believe it did help get things moving (although it was awful for him), I think the last 2 days are the worst I have seen him.
We have family in town for a few days, and I know things are going downhill when he can’t muster the energy to get out of bed to visit with them for even a few minutes. I think he was cramping (probably from drinking that stuff), and hope that maybe this was part of it…. he sleeps most of the day now. I went over with Katelyn (my 19 month old daughter) to visit for a bit, and drop some stuff off today. She stood in the doorway of his bedroom and watched him sleep, turning to me and saying “ssshhhhhh” every so often… it made my heart melt and break all at the same time. When we were leaving, we went in to say bye to him, and it broke my heart watching how difficult it was for him to stand up out of his hospital bed to give his grand baby kisses, and so sweet to watch her blow kisses at papa. This is all just so hard. I’d like to believe he’s just have a few “off” days, but his off days have never been this bad before. All I can do is spend time with him when I can, cherish every moment, and pray that he is in no pain – our only wish for him the last year. We have an Easter dinner at my Aunt and Uncle’s house tomorrow, so we’ll see if he is able to make it, and feeling any better…
Thinking and praying for you all, and wishing everyone a Happy Easter.
Jen
He had an AMAZING day. After not seeing him awake for more than 5 minutes at a time for the last month, I sat with him for 2 hours today and he didn’t seem the LEAST bit tired. He was up and walking around, drinking water, and eating. No pain (as long as he stays on top of the medication), and he hasn’t thrown up today. He’s the man he was 2 months ago! My hero is at it again… he just keeps bouncing back and we love it more each time
. I think the dehydration was certainly a big problem, and probably keeping him very tired. Also, he is on anti-nausea medication and it seems to be keeping food down. He had been on these the entire time, but hasn’t been taking them as he should have been (he’s only been taking them when he actually feel nauseous, rather than 4 times a day). A mistake he won’t make again!Love to all!
Jen
Well, Dad had a great pain-free night. He was severely dehydrated, so getting fluids has helped him feel a lot better. It sounds like they believe the blood in the tubes is unfortunately part of the progression of the disease – amazing how everyone faces different obstacles with this cancer. Now the hope is to control the vomiting… if they can control that, the bleeding will also be controlled since that is the only time it is happening. He will definitely be staying in tonight, but will hopefully be home tomorrow.
I will keep you updated – thinking of you all.
Jen
Hi Charlea,
I’m sorry to hear about the findings, but I hope the surgery went well yesterday, and the hip is now stable enough for radiation. Thinking and praying for you!
JenRae – I hope and pray that your mothers passing is peaceful. I’m sorry you found this site as late as you did, but I believe the wonderful people here will provide as much comfort after your Mother’s passing as before. You and your family are in the thoughts and prayers tonight, and in the days to come…
Lots of Love and Hugs,
Jen
Thank you Lainy, Andrea and Gavin – I will certainly be toasting to our CC family tonight for all the love and support we get!
Andrea – I hope you are doing well… thinking of you all, and so proud of the race you are doing in your Dad’s memory – such an incredible thing… he’ll be watching you and smiling, I’m sure!!
Jen
