Forum Replies Created
May 5, 2017 at 10:00 pm in reply to: TO MY CHOLANGIO CARCINOMA FAMILY #94751
Lainy you have positively affected so many people, and we are all so lucky to have met you, even if only online. Your light, your humour and your optimism helped to make this board what it is today. Love you Lainy, all the very best, you are going to be SO missed!
5 years. It will have been 5 years on Saturday that we lost Dad. Time flies, and goes so slowly at the same time. There are days I miss him so much my heart hurts. Times my kids do something that has me laughing and saying how much they are like him, or how happy they would have made him. I know he’s around, though my girls don’t seem to “see” him the way they did, but some days it just doesn’t feel like enough.
HOWEVER, we move on and we move forward and we have amazing and wonderful lives that I know he is incredibly proud of. We were fortunate enough to be witness to amazing moments at the end of his life to give us peace in knowing he really was going somewhere amazing.
I’ve attached a few photos of Alyssa’s third birthday on Saturday. This is the daughter a medium told my mom and sister that was special to Dad…. that she wouldn’t just be like him, but that he would actually be a part of her. And he is. I see it every day. She’s SO funny, doesn’t care what ANYONE thinks, and is an iron man obsessed, princess-loving little girl who is so sweet she won’t take anything from anyone unless they have a second to give her big sister. She IS dad.
I think of you all, and I’m still here almost daily, though my comments are pretty few and far between. I hope you are all doing well!!
JenJanuary 11, 2016 at 8:24 pm in reply to: New Surgery for Me #91161
Yeesh, just can’t do things the easy way, can you??!!
You know I’ll be sending prayers, positive thoughts, warm wishes and whatever else you’d like me to send you from here! We all know you’ll do great, but recover quickly – things are never the same here when your banter isn’t included!
Sending love too!!
JenDecember 18, 2015 at 3:35 pm in reply to: Becoming a patient… Round 2 #90790
I’m sorry you are facing this again. Sending strength and warm wishes – sounds like your doctor is doing anything and everything to pick the right combination for you, which is fantastic. Like Catherine said, I hope you find yourself back in the “chronic patient” stage VERY soon!!
JenNovember 5, 2015 at 3:35 pm in reply to: New Member #90395
Sorry you ever had to search out this site, but your attitude will get you far, your humor is contagious. I’m in Calgary, and my Dad had cc.
I just wanted to add my 2 cents about the port. Dad didn’t get one, and after a few months of constant pokes that got more and more difficult, he wished (and so did we) that he had gotten one. I agree that it’s something to discuss with your doctors.
Wishing you all the best – I don’t post often, but read daily. I’ll be watching for your updates!
I’ve never spoken with you directly Duke, but feel compelled to add my own sentiment to your post. I’ve read your words daily, though since Dad’s passing 4 years ago rarely speak up on the site. You have helped so very many people (including me), and I hope you have a peaceful journey from this world into the next. Your presence will always be felt here, and your words and thoughts will continue to bring peace, hope, and plenty of laughs to those that read them.
Thinking of you and your family, Duke. Sending love and warm thoughts to you all.
JenJuly 11, 2014 at 2:36 pm in reply to: Crazy Good 1st Meet up with new GP #83586
This post has me grinning foolishly with watery eyes this morning Lainy. Worthy of a response for sure! Glad to hear you have found someone that sounds so fantastic!
I know I don’t post often anymore. Still on here almost daily, keeping up on everything, but this year was the roughest of my mourning, and I cried enough reading posts, responding to them would have done me in! I missed Dad more then the day he died this last year or so. It’s getting better, I think putting his ashes in their final resting place helped on the anniversary. As did a few visits my Mom and sister had with a medium where he came through VERY loud and VERY clear. Even ordered that Michelle “give his baby girl (me) a hug from him, because she so needs it”. And I did. He also acknowledged my sweet girl, Alyssa Breh, the fact that she was named after him (Breh – Herb (my Dad) spelt backwards), and was told that there is a very strong connection between them. Not just a name, but he died and a part of him lives on in her. Apparently we will see him in her more then any other of the grandchildren. I believe it, I see him in her eyes every day and she has just recently started the same things Katelyn did right after he passed… peek-a-boo, laughing and waving at a spot in her room. Amazing. Other exciting news is that after years of trying and treatments, my sister is expecting… TWINS! Found out on Good Friday after days of dreams of her sitting with Dad and him telling her it would all work out, and is due Christmas Day. Now, tell me Dad didn’t have something to do with THAT timing!
I love you and miss you Lainy (and everyone else), but I’m still here. Just a bit more quiet
Have a lovely day, my CC family!
JenJune 9, 2013 at 4:46 pm in reply to: Update on Lauren #72223
I’m not sure if its my place or not, but I AM sure Pam would want her cc family to know that sweet, brave Lauren passed away at 11:37 this morning. My heart is shattering and the tears are flowing knowing this cancer has taken such a sweet, strong, beautiful and young life before her time. I’m sure this will affect others as much as it is me right now.
ALL my thoughts and ALL my prayers are with the Kunklier family today. May you find comfort knowing she is at peace, and feel the love and support of the huge number of people that have you in their thoughts today.
I am so sorry for your incredible loss Pam (and family).
JenJune 3, 2013 at 4:59 pm in reply to: Update on Lauren #72192
The latest update. Pam, I haven’t stopped thinking about Lauren and your family since this all started. We are all here with you in our minds and in our hearts, and the prayers are plentiful. I hope the new machine helps… miracles happen every day, and I hope Lauren is one of them.
All my thoughts and love,
http://www.loveandhopeforlauren.blogspot.ca/2013/06/monday-morning-update-6313.htmlMay 30, 2013 at 4:54 pm in reply to: Update on Lauren #72174
Praying, praying, praying.
JenMay 24, 2013 at 3:51 pm in reply to: Update on Lauren #72150
Another update from Pam this morning. Things sound positive today! We are all thinking of you and praying for Lauren and your entire brave and incredible family Pam!
http://www.loveandhopeforlauren.blogspot.ca/May 18, 2013 at 4:39 am in reply to: Lauren Doing a Tad Better #72087
Thank goodness! I’ve been praying for them all day, and checking here and Facebook constantly hoping for an update. Thanks Lainy, I can go to bed feeling a bit better about this – what a stressful day it must have been for them all.
JenMay 2, 2013 at 2:31 pm in reply to: need help –advice please!!! #71448
Well, I can’t say I’m happy I made you cry (although a good cry is as soothing as anything else sometimes), but I AM glad I was able to give you another perspective. That’s the thing about this amazing group of people. So many of us follow a similar path, but we all get something different from it. It’s good to hear other peoples thoughts, and somehow it helps to know you really (REALLY) aren’t alone. Once you are here, you can be guaranteed that someone you have never met will be thinking about you and praying for you and your family at any given second of every day. It’s a pretty incredible gift.
As for recording his voice, do it sooner then later. We bought books for Dad to record, but he suddenly went from okay to confused and they never got done. Actually, that’s not true – near the end he did read part of Twas the Night Before Christmas and we listen to it on Christmas Eve, but… it’s not his voice. Not the voice I remember from my childhood. It’s a tired voice. It could be from meds, or high bili levels or just being too tired from chemo, etc. to focus, but it can happen suddenly, and then it’s forgotten about.
Thinking about you all!
JenMay 1, 2013 at 7:48 pm in reply to: need help –advice please!!! #71445
I’m on here EVERY day. Several times, in fact. I just don’t post too often. Dad talked about the table of food he saw in his dreams, and I’m sure he went directly to have a nice big dinner after telling us he was going to be “stepping off the curb on a very beautiful boulevard to go to the other world”, as he put it. Funny you should mention that, as I have spent the last 2 days reading all my posts about those final moments. Guess I must have needed a good cry, and that did it for me!
Katelyn is very excited, and has even decided that baby’s name will be Alyssa (which we like and will probably use). The middle name will be Breh… pronouced “Bray”. It’s Dad’s name (Herb) spelled backwards.
I will certainly let you know how I’m doing. So far so good. Andie seems to be doing well, according to facebook. She has her moments as I do, but we still chat once in a while about our dear Dad’s. I can’t believe it’s been 2 years either. Love the Teddy stories – I haven’t had a visit from Dad recently, but would sure love one! I know he’s around though, no way he’d be missing out on getting to know this little babe before she’s born
All my love!
JenMay 1, 2013 at 7:01 pm in reply to: need help –advice please!!! #71443
I’m writing from a different perspective – a daughter who lost her Daddy way too early (and I was 30 when he passed away almost 2 years ago)! From day 1, Dad’s attitude was “it is what it is” and really focused his time and energy in making sure that we spent quality HAPPY times together, and he couldn’t stand it when we sat there and concerned ourselves with the later-ons, and the anger and the sadness. We actually got into a few arguements because I kept telling him it WASN’T okay and it really bothered me that he accepted it so easily. Thing is, I’m sure he really didn’t accept it as easily as he let on. I had just had my first child when he was diagnosed, and I know it broke his heart to think of everything he would miss with his kids and grandkids when he was gone. He chose to help us deal with our grief in that year and a half from diagnosis to when he passed by letting us know that HE was going to be okay, and that he needed to know WE were going to be okay.
Once I figured that out, my attitude really did change. I decided it wasn’t fair to him to make him feel somehow guilty by always being so upset that he would be leaving us, because clearly it wasn’t his choice and was hurting him as much (or more) then it was hurting us, whether he let on that it was or not. Once I got that through my head, it was easier to face, and we often even joked about it (believe it or not)! He went to have a family ring made for my Mom out of his wedding band, and when the women asked when he needed it by, he said “well, soon… I don’t know how much time I have left”, and I burst into tears. When we walked outside he burst our laughing and said that the tears were perfect, and that we may as well use the “dying” card while we could. I remember starting to laugh and not being able to stop. He had that ring in hand 5 days later… ha ha.
Anyway, long post that could have been much shorter, I think it’s just so important for us to realize that our loved ones need to know that we are going to be okay. It’s okay to cry, and be mad and be sad, but I think we (or I, at least) needed to focus on helping THEM feel better… they are the ones that are going to have to leave, after all.
Now, 2 years later I am going to be having my second child (due just 3 days before the anniversary of his death), and as sad as I am, I really do know he’s okay because he made sure I knew he would be. You have a beautiful family (I’m obsessed with your blog and instagram, by the way), and you will be fine afterwords. It won’t always be easy, but like others have said, things have a way of working themselves out. For now, just continue to spend time with him and your kids. Make memories and know that it’s true what they say… the memories will get you through. Oh, and one thing I wish I had was something from him with his voice. Sometimes there’s nothing in the world I want more then to hear his voice. Just a thought for your kids. There are recordable books, and as cheesy as it sounds, I wish I had him read one for each of us while he was still healthy enough. It’s a small keepsake that would have meant the world.
Thinking of you and your family.