kris9
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Duke,
Your words on this site brought so much comfort to me as I took care of my mother last year and then after her relocation in October. You allowed me to see this disease from the patient’s point of view and helped me to feel like I had done everything I could for her. You really are a wonderful person, and I wish you and your family peace. I am thinking of you often.
KristanSammie,
My heart aches for you and your family. My mother passed away in October only 11 weeks after her CC diagnosis. We opted to keep her at home (things went very quickly at the end and there was no opportunity for her to make a decision.) My siblings, our children, and my father were with her until the very end. (Well, she did wait until the only time I left the house, which was to see my daughter in a play, before she actually passed. But I believe that is how my mother wanted it to go!) I was surprised by the strength I was able to have at the end. I took care of my mother in ways that I never thought I would be able to do. You are doing the exact right thing for your father. You will not regret the long hours you are spending by his side – you are giving him a great gift. I’m sure his is so proud of you. I hope that your sister is able to visit with him again so that she does not have regrets later. I will be thinking of you in these difficult days to come. I wish your father peace.
KristanGood luck, Duke. I hope that you tolerate it well! Whenever I am feeling down about my mother I go back and read your posts – you have a way of staying positive and uplifting. I am sending good thoughts your way now.
Shelley,
My father was diagnosed with lung cancer this past June (my mother was the one with CC and the reason I am on this board) and one of the feelings he was going through in the few months prior to his diagnosis was sudden feelings of tension and anxiety. These feelings were not related to his worry about the cancer since he didn’t know about that yet, but were real physical symptoms like racing heart and a feeling if being very uncomfortable. The episodes would last anywhere from 20 minutes to a few hours. And when he had and episode he felt pretty bad for the rest of the day. He went on a low dose anti-depressant and had an anti-anxiety that he took maybe two or three times. He is 88 and had never exhibited any signs of depression before. (We were lucky that he had these episodes, because they are what led to finding the tumor in his lung at a very early stage.) I’m not saying this us what’s going on with your father, but it is certainly worth a conversation with the doctor. He has been through a lot and it will take some time to recover. I’m sending good thoughts his way!
KristanErin,
I am sorry that your mother-in-law is having discomfort. Her case sounds a lot like my mother’s. She was 85, although a very healthy and active 85, when she was diagnosed in August and everything progressed quickly after that. She was not offered much in terms of treatment, but did have an ERCP to place metal stents with a long recovery from that procedure. She entered hospice care in early October and passed away two weeks later very peacefully at her home. She never had ascites, so I cannot offer you any support on that topic, but I did want to offer my warmest thoughts and prayers for your family. Please let me know if you have any questions about my mother’s disease, as I know what you are going through and I truly care.
KristanThank you, Lainy for the beautiful poem. I do feel my mother around me wherever I am. I always enjoy reading your posts.
Duke, thank you for your kind words. I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if we had caught this cancer earlier, but mostly I feel grateful for the time I had with her and for the fact that she didn’t suffer long. I was very close with her (I still am!) and I was glad to spend almost every day of her eleven weeks helping to take care of her and just enjoying her company. I have gone back through your posts to read your story and I am amazed at your strong spirit and the grace and humor with which you are fighting this disease. You are an inspiration to others – thank you! I will keep reading for good updates. I wish you continued strength.
Catherine, thank you for responding to me. It is very comforting to have others read my mother’s story – especially people who really know what I am going through. My mother was reluctant to see multiple doctors. I know she only did it to humor us! I am saddened by the number of young people on this board who have been diagnosed with cc and would encourage anyone to get multiple opinions about their situations.
Darla, I am so sorry for your loss. Seven weeks is barely enough time to process the diagnosis let alone to go through the entire process of the disease. I hope that your husband did not experience too much pain. Thank you for responding to me. Knowing that there are others who understand what I am feeling is very comforting.
Melinda, thank you for your response. My mother really was an amazing woman. I miss her so much. I am trying every day to be more like her. She was kind to everyone she met and a truly selfless mother and grandmother.
