kristin
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It sounds like he was a wonderful human being, and greatly missed.
I have to say, I was taken aback when I went out to a sports bar for lunch recently after an oncologist appointment and saw hanging on the wall one of his jerseys– Payton 34. (Mind you, this is in Lexington, KY, not a hotbed of Bears fans!) What kind of omen is that exactly??
Dear Carlos,
I think it’s really important to tell your mother that this disease is very, very different in different people, and some people do live for years with it. Doctors can tell you statistics, but statistics only say what happens to large groups of people. They don’t tell you what will happen to one person.
Yes, it’s a very bad disease, but some people have a much easier time than others. And there’s no reason why your mother can’t be one of them!
I agree that you should ask the doctor about the possibility of radiation treatment. It’s much easier on the body than chemotherapy, and in my case, I had very good results.
Please let us know how everything goes. We’re all thinking of you and wishing you the best.
Kristin
Dear Carlos,
Your mother doesn’t need to go outside to walk. The important thing is for her to move her body, to get her blood circulating and her muscles working agiain. She can just walk inside the house from one room to another, if that’s what she wants to do, but it’s really important to do it a little bit longer every day. She can start with just one or two minutes, and add a few minutes every day. Tell her that walking will help her feel better much faster.
Maybe you can find her some very loose clothes to wear– like a very big dress.
How old is your mother? That information might help us find more ideas for her.
You are such a good son!
Kristin
Dear Joey,
In 2006 I had Xeloda in combination with radiation treatments for 7 weeks, with very good results. The combination shrunk my tumors, and they have not grown in three years, though they are still there.
Wishing all the best to you and your father!
Kristin
Hi Carlos,
I am SO glad that you went to the doctor and got better pain medication for your mother. Once she is sleeping better and feeling more comfortable, her body will recover much faster. I’m sure she is starting to feel better already.
Please keep writing to tell us about her progress, and let us know if there is anything we can do to help you! She is lucky to have such a wonderful son.
Best wishes to both of you–
Kristin
Dearest Kris,
I think the first thing you need to do is get your pain under control. When you are in pain, it makes everything seem so much bleaker and harder to deal with. Please, please talk to your doctors and make them give you something that will make you comfortable, and then see how things look. It’s not an admission of defeat– it’s good self-care!
And please know that you can share ANYTHING with us here. This is a place where it’s OK to be scared, mad, whiney, or anything else you feel. You don’t ever need to be brave or jaunty or anything else here if you’re not feeling that way today. We all love you for who you are– everything you are.
Big hugs coming your way from
the other Kris(tin)
Dear Carlos,
We are so glad that you found this group! The people here are wonderful and caring, and have so much knowledge and experience.
I had a five-hour surgery for a Klatskin tumor in 2004, and it took me about six weeks to really recover completely. (I was 46 then, younger than your mother.) It’s a very serious operation, and it takes time for the body to recover and start to function again.
Your mother’s surgery was only two weeks ago, so it’s normal that she’s experiencing pain and feels weak. I agree that you really need to get stronger painkillers for her. Her body can’t heal when she’s in pain. Also, it’s really good if she can stand up and walk around just a little, as often as she can, and try to walk a little more every day. That really helped me a lot. And she should eat very small amounts (even just a few bites) many times a day.
And tell her that she WILL feel better, much sooner than she thinks. I have had four big surgeries, and the time right afterwards is always so hard because you think you will always feel like that– weak, tired, and in pain. But our bodies are amazing, and she will feel better every day.
Best wishes to you and your mother!
Kristin
PS Your English is GREAT! (I’m an English teacher.)
Dear Gerry,
If surgery is possible in your case, it is your best chance for a complete cure. That’s what my doctors told me when i was first diagnosed. I had surgery almost six years ago– they removed my bile duct, gall bladder, and 50% of my liver, then constructed a new bile duct. I was in the hospital for 6 days, then at home taking it REAL easy for a month, but six weeks post-op I was able to go on a 4-day business trip clear across the country.
Unfortunately, this type of cancer tends to come back, and mine did. But that surgery bought me two years and eight months of fabulous cancer-free normal life, and I’m still doing well (I had radiation for the recurrence.)
I’m sure other members will weigh in shortly, but in my experience, the surgery was TOTALLY worth it.
Please let us know how you’re doing. We’re all here to help you in any way we can.
Wishing you all the best!
Kristin
An ANTI-FUNERAL! Kris, you are too cool for words. Sign me up as a member of your fan club!
I can’t speak Swedish, but, Har det bra! (maybe Norwegian works too)
Hugs,
Kristin
Oh how FRUSTRATING! Does your teacher know about your health situation? Do your classmates? A good teacher will make it comfortable for you to come back to class when you’re ready, by talking to your classmates if necessary. (I taught English as a Foreign Language for 13 years so I know a lot about this kind of class.)
Maybe now isn’t the best time to work on improving your Swedish, or maybe going to class isn’t the best way for you now. You could try an audio course instead, or a conversation partner– something you could do at your own pace on “good” days.
Kris, sweetheart, please be very very gentle to yourself and treat yourself like the treasure you are!
Hugs from
(the other!) Kristin
There are other foods you can eat to help you keep weight on besides sugar. When I had a problem with weight loss, a holistic nurse recommended lots of nuts and nut butters, olive oil on salads and vegies, and full-fat dairy, especially yogurt. I have to say, it was kind of fun indulging in those things for a couple months, after spending the rest of my life trying to keep my weight DOWN!
Yayyy, you’re back!! I think it’s time for you to take a break from being tough, and just rest in the care of everyone who loves you.
Hope you’re feeling better every single day!
Kristin
Xeloda is 5FU in pill form. According to my old oncologist, the body processes the pill to form 5FU. However, he said there were no studies comparing the effectiveness of Xeloda and 5FU. I took Xeloda for 7 weeks while have radiation, and the combination was very effective for me.
Kristin
Hi Viola,
If your mother will also accept Chinese medicine, I would like to suggest that she try qigong. I have been practicing two forms of qigong for about nine months and it has helped me a lot. My tumors are stable and have not gotten any bigger in that time, with no medical treatment. Qigong is very gentle and the exercises can also be done sitting or lying down. I’ve read that in China, there are special forms of qigong just for people with cancer. Maybe there are teachers who do that in Taiwan too.
All my best wishes to you and your mother–
Kristin
