lisa-ann

Hi Missing You,

I once again thank you for your thoughtfulness, and you words of wisdom. You have traveled the road that I too will soon travel. I do not know how much time I have left, with my Dad, but with every passing day I am grateful that I had another.

Dad’s Place

There’s a special kind of feeling
When I think about you, Dad

It’s a pleasure to remember
All the happy times we’ve had

There’s a special kind of caring
That is meant for you alone

There’s a place somewhere
Within my heart
That only you can own

I am glad I found this board the same day my Dad was diagnosed. I wouldnt no how else to get my feelings out. I can talk to Mom, but she has enough to deal with too.
As for the rest of my family (siblings), I just do not think they feel the same way. They kinda take the attitude that he is old and this is what happens. I do not feel he is old, I guess I thought he would be here forever. He was always so full of life until 4 weeks ago. He could still run circles around the younger generation, and would make that known.

As for your Dad, you must have had a special one also. I am sure he was so very proud of you. Like so many here on this board, even after the loss of a loved one, you are still helping others get through these difficult times. For that I admire you and your courage. Do not ever stop being the special, giving person you are.

I will let you know the results of the biopsy as soon as we get the word. I am hoping tomorrow or Friday.

Bright Blessings to You,
Lisa

Hi Again My Friend Joyce,

Yes we are Animal Lovers, and Believe it or not, I get that from my Dad. He would rather be around animals than people anyday. I grew up in the city too, so we only had cats and dogs when I was younger. Then Dad decided to start us with a couple ponies and we actually boarded them in Philadelphia at a very small stable. We would spend our weekends there with my Dad and those are some of my best memories.
We eventually got out of the horses as everyone was getting older and invlved in sports and other things.
When I was 15, we lost my Mother to Breast Cancer that metastized to her lungs and then to her bone. She fought hard for over a year, and finally succombed to the disease at the young age of 42. She left behind 6 children and a husband. My Dad did eventually find someone else to love and married a woman with 5 children of her own. So needless to say we were almost the Brady Bunch times two. 11 kids, wow, it was something to see. My Mother has been a great mother through all these years, and did lessen the pain of losing my biological Mother. Things were not always perfect, as it is very hard to put two large families together, but we managed. I love her no differently than if she had given birth to me.

I got back into horses when Dad and I were sitting in the hospital talking while Mom was recovering from GallBladder surgery. They lived on a 5 acre property with a barn, and Dad said I could board a horse there and he would take care of the daily chores till I could come up on weekends. Again, those couple years were great, and I have good memories and spent alot of time with both my parents.

In 2002, Dad and Mom went through some financial hardships, and were faced with losing thier home. At the same time, Steve and I were looking for a property to build a home and barn. We found a 13 acre lot, and built the house to include a seperate residence for my parents. We live on the first floor and my parents live on the second. They have thier own kitchen, laundy,bath etc. It works out well as we all have our privacy, yet can be together whenever we want. Dad and Steve built the barn together over a period of a year. I will always have those memories and funny stories to tell as well.

We have lived together for almost 5 years now, and I am so glad to have them here with us. The other children do not visit often, some never. Of course now through this most recent change, everyone of them is calling to see how Dad is, and I sometimes get very bitter and angry. I want to say, where have you been for the past 10 years, when they were in trouble. I am blessed to have Steve, as not many men would have the in-laws move in, but he is great. He would do anything for them, actually more than thier own children. He has been very supportive to me, and is here when I need to vent or just unload and cry.

Well I don’t want to bore you anymore, I just wanted to give you some background.
Dad is about the same, no real change. We are just waiting for the results to come back and then move on from there. I will let you know as soon as we hear something.

Again, Thanks for Being A Friend in this difficult time.

Luv Lisa

Hello Joyce,

Once again I thank you for all your thoughts and kindness. It means more to me than I can say. I guess I too am alot like you, because part of me is still living in denial, because I do not want to lose him. My Dad was always special to me, and I love him more than I could ever tell him. I feel so compelled to tell him everything I am feeling, but I hesitate because I don’t want him to give up or see how upset I am. I try to go on as you said, one day at a time, and just do the normal everyday things.

Hopefully today I will get to spend some time with him outside on the deck since the weather is so nice here, and listen to his stories that I have heard a million and one times. I will treasure those stories always, and they will always bring a smile to my face.

Today’s agenda consists of scrubbing and cleaning a very large bird cage as my Parents are giving up thier Blue and Gold Macaw to a rescue to find a forever home.
They are unable to spend enough time with him now, and he requires that attention daily. I know I have not mentioned before, but my Mom has more health problems than I could list here without it taking up pages and pages, so therefore things are a little more complicated, She is actually recovering herself from surgery that she had right before Dad’s diagnosis. She has had several surgeries over the past year, and none without major complications. Currently a visiting nurse comes out daily to tend to her wounds. I feel so bad for her, because this bird is so special to her, but she made the decision even before Dad’s illness to give him up.

We are animal people, however I cannot keep him as I have one of my own along with another talking parrot. I also have 4 horses, 4 goats and 3 dogs, 2 of which are Great Danes (Small Horses). They all keep me busy, and take my mind off of things, which at times is a good thing. My parents also have a yellow lab, so really there are 4 dogs in the house. Some day, I will e-mail you some pics of the clan. You can see some of them on my Myspace page at myspace.com/mantlegirl. There is also a slide show of my Dad building our barn just a couple years ago.

Again, thanks so much for all your support, your Mom was lucky to have had such a caring Daughter.

Lisa

Hi Joyce,

Thanks so much for all your follow up posts and concerns for my Dad. The procedure went well, and there were no complications. We unfortunatley did not get a preliminary report and we have to wait 5 days for the results. We were at the hospital from 9:30AM till 4PM when they released him. The look on the technician that spoke to us afterwards, did not look promising. I think his liver is pretty involved, and the size of the lymph nodes is not a good indicator either.

Today he felt up to going to the Flea Market as he usually enjoys doing this on Saturday mornings. I have been going, because its time I can spend with him and I enjy every minute. We stopped and got breakfast, and he actually wanted pancakes.
I thought, Great…….He ate 2 pancakes and a cup of coffee. He was doing good for about an hour afterwards and then Up came the breakfast. So frustrating, we get a little in, and out it comes. The weight lose is incredible and as I said before, I am seeing changes daily.

There is hope in my heart, as I can’t believe we are going to lose him. However, my mind keeps telling me to prepare, as it is going to get worse. I Love him so much and there is nothing I can do. My heart breaks more everyday, as I watch this strong man’s health just deteriorating before our eyes.

I just ordered him some pants and shirts as his cloths are falling off of him, even his watch doesn’t stay in place anymore. I just wish we could get the sypmtoms under control, so that he is not in pain and not sick to his stomach all the time.

So once again we wait until sometime next week for a confirmation on the CC diagnosis. However, if it were not that, it is still something not good.

Thanks So Much Joyce for being here for me.

Lisa