melissapalma
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Thanks. I will check those websites out and pass along the food suggestions as well.
It is not just that she isn’t finding anything that is appetizing, which is true. But my father is 76 (as of Saturday) and doesn’t know how to turn an oven on. Seriously. So making comfort food, or any food at all is not really an option for him. And just the thought of buying food and preparing food and eating food is so un-appetizing for my mom that they are just buying fast food or food at restaurants every day which is cumulatively unhealthy.
My brother and sister-in-law live 2 miles from her and are already cooking for 3 boys (8, 12 and almost 16 year old sons) so maybe I should ask if they can drop off meals one night a week. And once school is out for me in another week, I will have more time to cook for her as well.
In the meantime, and frankly throughout the whole process so we can be sustainable, I will look at those websites and see if I can get some of her friends to pitch in more.
Tiffany, do you have friends or neighbors who have said, “Let me know what I can do to help” or “Just let me know if you need anything”? If so, I think this is an easy thing for people to do to help and when people say that they want to help, I believe they really mean it!
A friend said to me to ask the parents at my school (I am a teacher and director at a small school where my kids also go to school) if they could make my kids lunches for a couple weeks until school is out. So I asked and every Tuesday and Thursday I have different families packing lunches for my kids. It has been wonderfully helpful to have 1 less thing to have to do right now.
Melissa
My mother also has a swollen leg from a blood clot that she got over 3 weeks ago (or is it a month?). She was told to elevate her leg but not like on the couch but rather to get her leg above her chest level for 30 minutes 2 x a day. I also researched that tumeric is a natural anti-inflammatory but yeah, we are also struggling with this side effect because it is really limiting her mobility and she is also only on her second round of chemo. She has an appointment on Thursday to see a cardiovascular surgeon to discuss symptom management.
Good luck to your mom and please let me know if you hear of any new ideas to try.
Melissa
Thanks Kris. I did ask and he says that there is nothing more he can or would do. It might just be like this for the rest of her life. That s a huge quality of life issue for her. So if he has no medical recommendations, I wonder about other therapies. Maybe I’ll go over on the CAT page and poke around there.
Thanks again!
Melissa
I just copy and pasted these last posts and emailed them to my mom. I told her that we need to rethink these normal activities and be a little more careful. She does not appreciate that this is going to affect her life but maybe she can use gloves when she gardens or clean bird poop now.
Thanks for helping me realize these very basic things. I have so much to learn!
Melissa
It’s important to celebrate each and every victory along the journey, isn’t it? I am so happy that the procedure went well, and just missed you at U of M (we were there on the 14th). Let me know if you ever want to grab a coffee or if you want me to show you the Arb across the street (a gorgeous huge park along the Huron River)! I told my mom about you and Lauren and she wanted to offer you a place to stay anytime! I assume you stay with your eldest daughter but the invitation is always extended (my mom is still in denial I think so meeting other folks going through this would frankly be more helpful to her right now!).
Take care!
Melissa
Yes! Keep fighting and dancing Kris! And thanks for the advice…think like a germaphobe! Now, any suggestions for swollen legs that will not go down due to blood clots? That’s my next area I need to study.
-MelissaWow. Thanks Kris. I had no idea to think about the germs in dirt and bird poop but that is good to consider. My mom is also super tan and never wears sunscreen so I will have to talk with her about that. Are you more sensitive to the sun now, or what is the reason for sunscreen?
Hope you get to go dancing soon!
Melissa
My mom’s leg is still very swollen and it is painful for her to walk. She takes 60mg of Lovenox via injection twice a day but it is not doing anything for her current clot. A week ago, the onc casually said, “We are doing everything we can for your leg and it might just stay like this.” My mom was like, “Forever? Like the rest of my life?” and he said, “Maybe”. That was hard for her to hear. She is tolerating the cancer and the treatment ok but the pain in her leg and the limited mobility are really negatively affecting her life. Does anyone have any experience with this, or can anyone recommend anything at all for us to try? It has been almost 2 weeks and it is not changing one bit.
Helen, I have been trying really hard to figure out how to deal with this as I feel overwhelmed and it is not even me going through it. One friend said to think of the journey like labor, when you are so present with the process, that all is timeless and you are truly in the moment. Another friend said to “be flowy”, like take the good days fully and enjoy them and do not worry about what’s around the next corner. My mom started her first round of chemo on Monday and has been doing well so far so instead of worrying abut what’s next, I am trying to be like “oh good, today has been good (minus the leg pain) so it was a good day”. I am keeping it really simple. Does that make sense?
By the way, I have been to Treasure Island a number of times. My mom and dad have a condo in St Pete Beach and go 3 x a year. They were scheduled to go in the meddle of April when my mom was diagnosed (on Friday APril 13th) so they had to postpone but she is chomping at the bit to go as soon as she possibly can.
Take care.
Melissa
My mother just had her first round of chemo on Monday the 14th so I am here with you, at the beginning and wondering and anxious about the journey. My mother also tolerated her first round of Gemzar and Cesplatin well and is also on oral Xeloda every day for 2 weeks. She did get a UTI (urinary tract infection) and I am wondering what that’s about but it was affecting her ability to sleep. The day after chemo she gardened, she cleaned bird baths, she went out to buy a new computer, and she went to dinner with friends. Now, 3 days later, she is very tired but still going out.
I have heard that the second round can be harder than the first so I hope she does not have a false sense of ease about chemo but then again, I am just trying to stay present with it all and enjoy these good days and not prepare for the harder ones. That’s my plan at least.
My mother started her first of chemo on Monday plus Xeloda so it is good to be more informed than what oncs can cover in a meeting. I swear they talk and talk and talk and it still doesn’t feel thorough enough, or I just can’t comprehend it all after a while. I take notes but Xeloda, for example, has like 4 or 5 side effects listed in my notes vs. the thorough ones listed here. Thanks for the rich information here!
Kris, I am curious, was the Xeloda dosage adjusted or how did they address your dizziness?
Thanks Pamela. It is amazing that my mother and your daughter have the exact same doctors. Small world! Where do you live? And where does Lauren live? That is a very long drive! Maybe we can get together for a coffee or tea sometime.
My mother is considering the same regiment as Lauren (Gem/Cis and 5FU clinical study). I don’t think my mother is prepared for how hard chemo might be. She has this idea that it is going to be mild and that she won’t lose her hair. Have you found anything to help Lauren’s discomfort during chemo outside of the drugs that are prescribed?
Since your family is a few months ahead of us, I am sure I will have a lot of very specific questions for you because yes, you are right, in the beginning it is a lot of information to process at the same time as trying to cope with the emotional shock of it all.
I am so glad to hear that Lauren’s treatment is showing signs of improvement, that the tumor has shrunk. I had never heard of Theraspheres. Is it a common procedure? What exactly is radioembolization?
I am happy to meet you here and am sending you, Lauren and your family lots of healing thoughts and energy.
Melissa
Pamela,
We live in Ann Arbor so my mother is seeing Dr. Sonnenday and Dr. Zupaluski. I have been reading old posts here and see that your daughter sees the same doctors! You have said wonderful things about them both. Can you tell me more about your daughter? When was she diagnosed? Where is she at with her tx now? I am getting a crash course in cancer and am trying to learn everything I possibly can.
Warmly,
-Melissa
