sojournermiller

Thank you Lainy,
That was beautiful!

– J

Happy New Year’s Eve Everyone,

It’s been a very difficult year with very good and very sad memories.
I want to thank you all for your knowledge, support and caring over these many month’s.

Sunday, Dec 6th, 2015 at 12:30pm my sweet Jim went home to be with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He went peacefully and without pain as I held his hand.
He has fought the good fight, has finished the race and has kept the faith. There is laid up for him the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to him on that Day, and not to just him only but also to all who have loved His appearing. (2 Timothy 4:7)
Half of my heart is in heaven now, but the Lord has filled that empty space that was left behind with comfort, hope, peace, love and many memories to sustain me until that day we are together again.
I have good days and sad days, but on the sad days the Lord is there to lift my head and comfort me.
Everyone grieves differently and I know it is a process. I still do not know what mine is, but I am surrounded by friends, family and loved one’s who give in abundance and at time’s I have to kick them out of my house so I can just have some alone time.
But all in all I am pushing forward because Jim made me promise to celebrate Christmas (which I did with his family), to go forward with the plans we had made of moving to our farm in North East Tennessee (which is in motion as I type) and to find joy again in life, which I have on some days on other’s it’s more difficult, but I struggle through those days or climb up into my heavenly Father’s lap and cry, which he is always faithful to comfort and give peace.
I know it will take time, but will continue to put one foot in front of the other knowing that the Lord is with me and will never leave nor forsake me.

Thank you all so much again for all you do and for the love you share with other’s going through this raging storm.

I am including Jim’s obit so you can know a little more about him and us.
He will be deeply missed by all who knew and loved him as well as those who crossed his path in this life.

Janet

JAMES BLAINE MILLER, JR. OBIT:

Ponder, TX – James “Jim” Blaine Miller, Jr. passed away peacefully at home on Sunday, December 6th, 2015 after a 14 month battle with Biliary Cancer.
He was born on October 22nd, 1955 in Detroit, MI to Betty Jo and James Blaine Miller Sr. His father proceeded him in death.
Jim is survived by his loving wife of 12 years Janet Lee Miller, his son James Blaine Miller III, his mother Betty Jo Robinson, his sister Deborah Creasy Dirickson, his brother’s David and Danny Creasy and many nieces, nephews and a host of extended family and loving friends.
Jim was raised in Limestone, Tennessee on his families homestead which was never far from his mind or heart. He entered the US Army in 1982 and separated honorably 10 years later in 1992. He proceeded to enlist in the US Air Nat’l Guard and served 8 years for a total of 18 years of service to our country. He served with distinction, pride and honor.
Jim and Janet met in 2000 and become fast friends and quickly realized they were soul mates. They married on August 8th, 2003 in Fairbanks, Alaska.
Jim was an avid fisherman, sports gunman and craftsman. He loved to wood work and was a lover of stray animals, especially cats of which he rescued every chance he got.
At the time of his death they would not leave his side. He leaves behind, Gazelle 12, Cricket 8, Sampson 7 and Smokey 2.
In latter years Jim entered the security industry and quickly climbed the ranks to become site supervisor over 27 guards at 5000 person facility, all of whom loved and respected him dearly because of his good natured attitude, fairness, work ethic and genuine love for people. When asked how his day was going his classic response was, “Always Good”.
But above all Jim loved the Lord and never passed up a chance to pray over and share the love of Jesus Christ with all those who would listen.
I have no doubt that the crown of glory he earned is so big that he has already laid it at the feet of Jesus. Jim will be deeply missed by all who knew him an encountered him even so briefly.
In Lieu of flowers please prayerfully Donate to “Jim’s Celebration of Life” on Crowdrise at: https://www.crowdrise.com/jimscelebrationofliv/fundraiser/janetmiller2 to assist with final expenses to ease the financial and emotional burden of the family.
Thank you and God bless.

Thank you ladies! It is a big comfort.

Blessings,

Janet

Hello Everyone,

Once again, sorry it’s been so long. Last I posted hubby was doing very well to the point that his Oncologist suggested we see hubby’s Oncologist surgeon, who upon seeing him told us he wanted to go back in to attempt the Whipple procedure again. He was going on vacation for two weeks and wanted us to think about it and let him know what our decision was on our return appointment when he got back. Before he got back though hubby started to go down hill again with a bad case of pancreatitis.
So we went back to his Oncologist who suggested he go back on chemo. So we started chemo again, same drug as last time to find out that it wasn’t working as well as the first time so we switched to another drug that was even worse (Gem Sy) and only got through the second session before I pulled the plug on the whole thing. Hubby was going down hill really fast because of this particular drug.
But the chemo had done it’s damage. He has now lost an additional 20 pounds that he couldn’t afford to loose and is now at 102 lb’s. We think that the cancer has infiltrated the lining of his abdomen and possible his stomach. His last CT Scan showed a small spot on his liver and a small one on his spleen. He is now mildly jaundice and sleeping most of the time. He is still eating, but only a little a couple of time’s a day, not enough to sustain him. We started juicing so that we can get some nutrients in him and he is rallying a little, but is not gaining any weight. My fear is that we waited too long to try something new and we are now on Hospice care at home.
My husband is a fighter and refuses to give up, as I am as well, but I fight the fear daily that i may lose him soon. The only thing sustaining me right now is my faith.
We both except God’s will in all things and know that no matter what, He will sustain us.
From the fire, through the fire…..or by the fire.
I’m tired, worn out and know that the strength sustaining me is not my own.
Every day is a battle to keep kicking despair in the butt so I can put one foot in front of the other and to continue praying over the love of my life for healing, more time, less pain, more energy and an abundance of peace for both of us. I’m trying not to focus on the what if’s and stay in the present.
Forgive me for prattling on, I just know you all know exactly what I’m going through so I know you have an abundance of grace for those going through this battle, and that’s exactly what this is….full out war, blood and guts on the field of battle, which my hubby and I are very familiar with. (Retired Military…both of us.) So we both are not new to fighting a battle and risking our lives.
The only difference is……..we can’t see this enemy…..only the destruction it leaves behind.
But fight on we will because we must.
Thanks for listening,
Prayers are always desired and coveted with us, so if you can send one up to the Father it would be deeply appreciated.
We will continue to fight until the hubby is healed, or the Lord call’s him home.

God bless,

Janet

Hello Everyone,
Sorry I haven’t posted in such a long time. You all know how your life gets turned upside down with this. Hubby went through 6 of the 12 weeks of chemo (Oct – Jan) and Onc decided to stop the chemo because after several CT scans they couldn’t find anything, so we have been dealing with getting him seen by his surgeon to see if he is now a candidate for cyber knife. They were going to do targeted radiation, a procedure called True blade, but the hospital that does it did not have a contract with our insurance company at the time. His health has been very good and he has been feeling more like himself these last few months. we are going to finally see his surgeon sometime next week to consult with him on where we go from here. Over the last 2 days he started having pain on his right side and am a little concerned with that, so we will be seeing doc tomorrow to determine if it is just gastrointestinal or something else. He just had a CT 2 weeks ago and they could see nothing and they believe he is stable at the moment (Thank You God), so the pain in his side is something that puts me on that rollercoaster again of worry even if it does turn out to be nothing. Praying and hoping it is the lesser of the two. He has had 4 really good month’s.
He went through chemo without losing his hair or having any of the side effects related to the drugs he was on, with the exception of some cold sensitivity, which we are abundantly grateful for.
So at the moment we are in a hold pattern and will probably use this time to get our house in order to move to our farm in North East Tennessee. That is where he wants to be, so that is where we will go as soon as we find out what the surgeon says.
Thank you for all your well wishes, support and prayers.
They are coveted by us both.

God Bless you all,

In Him Always.

Janet