barbara6193
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Pam,
I totally agree with Marion -it is all about timing. I so wanted to hold onto everything of my Jacques’ clothing. After much thinking and research, I decided to have a quilt made with many of Jacques’ T-shirt, shirts and also a favorite pair of “Life is Good” pajama bottoms. I thought about this for a year and then I researched for the company that fit my criteria. I finally decided on who I wanted to entrust these valuable articles of clothing (so loaded with memories) to and the day I shipped the clothes to them – I thought I was going to be sick – I shipped them and every step of the way I was able to track the status.
Well, tonight I came home to a package in my breezeway – it was my “Jacques quilt” it is amazing. It was an emotional night – but I so enjoyed wrapping myself in the memories of “us”. I know that this wll become a family heirloom.
As Marion stated “it is another step in the healing process”.
Love from NH,
BarbaraDarla,
I understand what you are going through. I have found that journal writing helps me – I record memories – feelings – messages etc.. Stay strong and know that we are all here for each other.
Love from NH,
BarbaraRalf,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you find comfort in all of your wonderful memories.
Love from NH,
BarbaraMy thoughts and prayers are with Jeff’s family.
My heart is heavy with sadness as I know what you are going through.
With Love from NH,
BarbaraHi Kris,
A cream that works great for babies and adults too is IHLES PASTE and can be purchased in most pharmacies – I use to only be able to buy it in Canada but it is now in the States
Good luck and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
BarbaraDear Valerie,
My heart is with you during this journey. I walked the same road 15 months ago with my sweet Jacques. It is hard to keep the pain and tears under control – one reason is because you are experiencing something with the one you love that no human is ever prepared to go through. I always envisioned our lives to be so different; I expected to grow old with my Jacques – to share the joys of grandchildren with him (our grandson-Brayden Jack, is now 11 months old and he looks like my Jacques) – to be by my side when our son was married 7 months ago and on and on and on. I wanted to keep him by my side forever and each and every day my heart aches for him. I have read all of Jeff’s postings and he helped me in many ways and I wish there was something I could do or say to help you both through this. One thing I can say is we have to feel blessed to have experienced true love and amazing companionship. I have been writing a journal since my Jacques was first diagnosed and it has helped me – I had hoped to one day have this journal published in the hopes it may help others – but I am not ready to share it yet – one day perhaps.
I know that all of your energies are with your Jeff, but try to take some time to take care of you. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Love from NH,
BarbaraHeather,
My deepest sympathy to you and Emilee, I truly understand your pain and I wish there were words I could express to ease your pain. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love from NH,
BarbaraJust a thought, but perhaps sending our letters to Barbara Walters. She is dealing with a friend with pancreatic cancer, she may listen, it is worth a try. One day, someone will realize that there is a possibility that by researching the “rare cancers” such as CC, they could uncover a “link” that could be a key to finding the cure for cancer.
BarbaraMy deepest sympathy to Peter’s family. I have read all of Peter’s postings and they gave me guidance when my Jacques was battling CC. Peter also answered questions I asked him via email. I never met Peter in person, although our paths crossed many times at Lahey Clinic in Burlington, but I do feel like I knew him. God Bless you Peter and I hope you get to meet my Jacques in heaven. My thoughts and prayers are with all of Peter’s family and friends.
Fondly,
BarbaraJeff,
Although I do no post often, I think of everyone who is a part of the CC family. You gave me strength in many ways when I searched this site when my dear Jacques was fighting this disease. Thank you for being such a positive voice. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Enjoy those Christmas lights and family time. God Bless.
With love from NH,
BarbaraDear Sue,
My deepest sympathy to you and your family on the loss of your Ray. I lost my sweet Jacques one year ago to CC, he was 56 and we were married for 35 wonderful years. I just had a beautiful memorial mass for him on Nov. 11th. Jacques also kept his amazing smile and sense of humor right up to the end, we enjoyed many wonderful trips, holidays, and he was the most handsome man at our daughters wedding the day he walked her down the aisle one year before this horrific disease took him from us.
Carrying on alone is difficult, I can attest to that, but just take one day at a time and remember all of the good times. Journal writing has helped me, I hope to one day publish my journal in the hopes to help others who lose a loved one. As for having Ray’s things all around you, I still have not changed anything in my home. Jacques things are all around me, everywhere is a precious memory. Every one is different in how they deal with their pain, and everyones path they take is also different. Follow your heart, stay busy, and embrace those that are there for you. I am so lucky that my friends and family have been amazing and their support has never waned.
Take care of yourself and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
With love from NH,
BarbaraTonia,
First of all, my heart goes out to you and always know that you are a great support to your grandma and you both are so lucky to have each other. I have not posted very much on this site, although I visit it often. I am coming up on one year of losing my wonderful husband to this horrific disease. I remember people giving advice and questioning why Jacques did not go for the chemo/radiation route. I was at every doctor appointment and was by his side each and every time he was in the hospital and constantly researching and asking questions. Jacques and I would discuss options at length. I always knew what his wishes were and I followed them to the end. I do not have one regret about any of “our” decisions. I miss my Jacques more and more each day and my life is forever changed but I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful memories, and some of those memories were in the final weeks of his life. Enjoy each and every day you have with your grandma and don’t look back and never ever feel guilty. Just let her know how much you love her.
Love from NH
BarbaraDearest Rank,
I have been exactly where you are with my sweet Jacques, my heart aches for you. All I can say is to savor each and every minute and always remember to follow your heart. Hospice help is “good”, but the patient and family are the ones who know best. I was fortunate to spend 9 weeks by Jacques side, as did our grown children and their spouses. We are approaching the 1st year anniversary since Jacques was taken from us and we are all having a difficult time, but we talk about the last 9 weeks with our wonderful Jacques, and we all know that those were some of the toughest times but also some of the best times. We all were making memories right up until the end. The important thing to realize is that the Hospice staff does not actually know what they are dealing with when it come to cholangiocarcinoma patients, and yes they tend to want to put the patient in a “comatose” state. Your family and your Dad will know when the need for more meds is necessary to control the pain, don’t let anyone rob you of precious minutes. Keep your Dad comfortable and allow him to be his own voice and remember to be is voice if he is unable to.
With heartfelt pain from New Hamphire – you are in my thoughts.
Fondly,
Barbara
