bjohnson

Dear LD – I’m so sorry for your loss. Reading your story reminded me so much of Sam – he was 64, a runner, a health fanatic and just did everything right. Just doesn’t seem fair does it?
Sometimes I read something that makes me feel better. I would like to share this one with you that was in my Grace for the Moment book by Max Lucado. When Sam was here I didn’t think about heaven so much; now it seems that is all I think about.

“It doesn’t take a wise person to know that people long for more than earth. When we see pain, we yearn. When we see hunger, we question why. Senseless deaths. Endless tears, needless loss . . .
We have our moments. The newborn on our breast, the bride on our arm, the sunshine on our back. But even those moments are simply slivers of light breaking through heaven’s window. God flirts with us. He tanalizes us. He romances us. Those moments are appetizers for the dish that is to come.
“No one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love him”. (1 Cor. 2:9).
What a breathtaking verse! Do you see what it says? Heaven is beyond our imagination . . . At our most creative moment, at our deepest thought, at our highest level, we still cannot fathom eternity.”
Ted is so right – we will see them again. If I didn’t believe that, I simply could not go on. May you find strength and peace.
My Best to you and your family.
Betty Johnson

Don’t tell me that you understand
Don’t tell me that you know.
Don’t tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.

Don’t tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed,
That I am chosen for this task,
Apart from all the rest.

Don’t come at me with answers
That can only come from me.
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass
That I will soon be free.

Don’t stand in pious judgment
Of the bounds I must untie.
Don’t tell me how to suffer,
And don’t tell me how to cry.

My life is filled with selfishness,
My pain is all I see
But I need you, I need your love,
Unconditionally.

Accept me in my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry.
And say, “My friend, I care.”

It goes without saying that all of us on this site care and share in your pain. Joyce is so right when she said that you cannot possibly understand until you lose someone that is so dear to you. Hang in there and remember that we care.
Betty

Melissa – I admire your courage and strength to be able to deliver such a beautiful
eulogy at Jerry’s service. May your days ahead be filled with that same comfort and peace.
Love Betty

Carol – I certainly am not qualified to answer your question; I will only give you our experience when Mayo turned down Sam for a liver transplant. The doctors in Birmingham thought that he might be a candidate and really got our hopes up but Mayo quickly dashed those hopes. I think if you will research the McCrea Blog, you will also see that Valerie went to Mayo and did not get any positive news either. I think they are really pretty truthful about the situation; CC is just a very rare and tough disease to fight. There are some instances where a liver transplant might help but most of the time, CC will reoccur even in the new healthy liver. At least this is what we were told. I even asked about giving part of my liver to Sam if I were an acceptable candidate but they said that it would not do any good. I think the chances of getting a liver even if you are a candidate is pretty dismal; the list is just too long.
I am assuming that Charlie is not a candidate for a liver resection either; that is his best option. Wishing you the best; there are several long-term survivors on this site.
My Best
Betty

Bob’s wife,
So very sorry for your loss. The journey that you will travel in the next few months
will be hard but God will give you strenth. I use to hate to hear someone say –
just take one day at a time, but that is exactly what you will have to do. Some will be harder than others. Know that you are thought of and I pray for you to find peace.
God Bless
Betty

Jeff – that was beautiful; you are a very caring person and you touched more hearts than just Teresa’s.

Have any of you read “Shattered Dreams” by Larry Crabb? It is one of the best books I have read since losing Sam; I highly recommend it. It is about God’s unexpected pathway to joy even through your disappointments and shattered dreams.
My Best
Betty

Pam – I think if Sam and I had it to do over again, he would choose not to take any chemo treatments. The treatments may have extended his life but his quality of life for the last 6 months that he lived was certainly not good and it was his decision, not the oncologist, to quit treatments.

I don’t think Sam suffered from depressesion; his biggest problem was pain which was in the chest area and not the area of the liver. He was also on the fentanyl patches and oxicodone.

There were numerous mets to the lung area. He did have 28 days of radiation to the liver when he was first diagnosed and then radio frequency ablation after an unsuccessful attempt to do a liver resection. They also performed radiation to the chest area late in his treatment to relieve some of the pain. Also a big problem for Sam was his loss of appetite. I could not get him to eat hardly anything during those last few months. Nutrition is so important.

I know I’m not being much help. My thoughts are with you; the only advice I can offer is to stay close to home if you can. The road can get weary for both of you
if you have to travel for a long distance.