chrissy23
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Charlene,
My heart aches for you because I am going through the same thing. Chucks is sooo skinny it breaks my heart. Only unlike you I am not as strong. I am finding myself breaking down everywhere except work. My stomach is so sick from stress I can’t see straight. Looking at him makes me cry. He is not what I once knew. I feel as though I am losing my whole future. This man is my future husband, father of my children, best friend, and I am losing that and don’t know how to be strong anymore. I know I am making it hard for him because I am so distraught but my whole world is crashing and I feel soo alone. He is in so much pain and there is nothing I can do. He wants to fight but I fear the fight is gone. This has come so quickly. I feel selfish for making him fight for me. The oncologist still has not given up on him but he has missed three weeks of chemo due to hospitalization for pain. He wants to not feel at all. Charlene, you are a brave strong woman. I wish I could be the same.
Christina
Wow,
I am just at a loss for words. Chucks had a recurrence two months ago. We been doing gemzar and tarceva for two months now. I am scared everyday. I worry everyday. I think about the future and wonder if there is one for us. We might never have the perfect wedding or get to have babies. I will be ruined for the rest of my life if I lose him. Sometimes I get so angry I forget to breathe. I just want to run away. I want to wake up and be somewhere else. I want to pretend this never happened to us. He’s only 31! Why couldn’t we have had a couple more good years together but nooo… I struggle with happiness. I am jealous of those that it comes so easy to. Sooo…. I think deep down inside we all have those same feelings. Why him! I can think of many others that deserve it more and yet….. they live (it seems like forever) Why us? We were just starting our lives together and trying to live right. All of these thoughts sometimes take me over. I run away to my moms or to the beach to just breathe and cry. I always come back. I am tired of hurting and tired of seeing him in pain everyday. I am tired of worrying everyday. I am tired of my heart aching everyday. I am tired of being on the verge of tears EVERDAY! I am just tired of being tired if that makes sense. I do the best I can with what I have. Keep going… keep fighting…. and keep pushing forward. That is all I have left. I feel everyones pain. I am truly sorry!
well chucks is currently on Gemzar and Tarceva. Our oncologist said that he is getting very good results for the combo. You should check with your oncologist. The main side effect I have noticed is rash and acne. Chucks never had pimples and now has a lot. He also complains about his stomach hurting a bit and minor diarrhea but nothing unbearable. He’s been on this for 8 weeks now and we should be getting a cat scan shortly. I’ll let you know….
Best of luck to you and John. It’s all in the fight. Oh and since being on the tarceva, he has gained 3 lbs after losing about 15.
Christina.
Charlene,
My heart is absolutely breaking for you right now. I just fell apart reading your post. I am sooo very sorry. This is just not fair what this cancer does to us. I am so sick of living in fear everyday wishing for a different life. I will search for programs that might be able to help. I just wanted to let you know that my prayers are with you and John. How strong he is to continue the fight. You know he fights for you. What city do you live in?
Crying as I type,
Christina.That sounds great and relaxing (or not so relaxing) with all the grandkids. Have lots of FUN! I am sure you kids will have a great time.
Christina
Irenea,
Gain some weight, take extra vitamins, make sure to exercise and have as few people as possible at the hospital. Chucks after resection had an awful hard time. Infection after infection. Many people wanted to see him and I can’t say it was because of them but if I could do it over. I wouldn’t allow so many people in and out of the room. People carry infection and with a compromised immune system……….. no brainer right.
Best of luck
ChristinaPatti,
I am soo very sorry to hear of your loss. You seem like a wonderful and supportive daughter. Keep those memories with you forever. Easier said than done, I am sure. I wish you and your family the best. May God bless you all especially the grandchildren. Poor babies. So young to be going through this. Support them as much as possible.
With a prayer,
ChristinaColleen,
Did you see what Jeff has been on. I think it is called Zometa. It is fairly new I think and seems to be getting great reviews. Chucks is currently dealing with a recurrence in the liver but is solely based in liver. He doesn’t have bone mets. Check out the Zometa, definitely could hurt.
Christina
Colleen,
Chucks use to be on the Fentanyl patch and said it worked really well. Anyway, I am surprised the doctor is prescribing both oxycontin and the fentanyl patch. When I requested this for chucks. The doctor said he did not want to prescribe both. It was one or the other.
Christina.
Sounds great Jeff. I also looked into this and it sounds very promising. I wish you the best.
Christina.
well, you have all of us. I think it is really up to you whether you diet or not. I haven’t changed the way Chucks eats. If he wants a cheeseburger. God willing….. he will have a cheeseburger and if he can get it down then SCORE!!!!!!!! I just want him to keep on the weight while going through chemo. Surgery was what caused chucks to loose all the weight and since he just never was able to put it back on. Now I feel like I force him to eat things that everyone else says are bad but the doctor says “go for it. Keep the weight coming” It’s a personal choice. I try to have him eat as healthy as possible without taking away that good fat and protein.
Christina.
