clarem
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Dear Moonpie1,
I am so sorry that you have received this news. Nothing can prepare you for it. I just echo really what the others have said.
Write everything down for your meeting with the Oncologist so that you can work through each question. I’m sure the meeting will answer many of your questions but no matter how trivial you think it is, ask it. It is important that you understand not only why things are being done but also why certain things cannot be done for your mum.
You are correct in saying that by the time this cancer presents it is usually quite advanced. Surgery depends on many factors but generally speaking, a resection is advanced surgery, without having pre-existing illnesses such as COPD. I haven’t been on the forum that long but there are members that have not been able to have a resection, had chemo and then been to have a resection but as you have mentioned, it does sound like your mums existing health conditions are compounding everything.
I understand the helplessness you feel and your head must just be reeling. My sister had her surgery abandoned as her cancer was far more advanced than first thought and chemo was the only option available to her. I was also many miles away from my sister – it takes 6-7 hours to drive to where my family and it just makes a very stressful time even more difficult when you can’t immediately be with them.
Please look after yourself and use the forum for all the support and advice you want.
Hi Moonpie1,
Welcome to the board. It must be a very difficult and stressful time for you and your family. This board is a phenomenal place and there is always support and advice available.
I too am in the UK – North of the border in Glasgow and came here when my sister was diagnosed last year. This and http://www.ammf.org.uk/ were invaluable in getting armed with reliable and credible information.
Initially my sister was ill with an infection of the bile duct really improved once that was treated and a stent was inserted. It sounds like if needed, your Mum will be with a specialist team rather than your local hospital – essential that an experienced team take the lead on this. Please let us know how things progress this week if you can.
Dearest Pam,
There is nothing I can say that will make this right or better. I am so saddened to hear the news that Your beautiful Lauren has died. You and your family are all very much in my thoughts.
With much love,
Clare
Dear SIL,
I am so sorry to read about your sister in law and the change in her condition. My sister who was 41, died in March after only 5 months after being diagnosed. You are doing all you can for her and the care she will get in the hospice should address all the symptoms she is having. There are many different drugs that can be tried to help with things like vomiting and constipation if one does not work then another will be used. Even when someone cannot be cured or treated, there is so much than can be done to help with the symptoms that they have. There is no need for your sister in law to be suffering.
Gavin mentioned the syringe driver which can help enormously. It can be used just for anti-sickness or they can combine many different drugs in it to help with pain and agitation as well. The dose can also be increased quickly if needed.
We cared for my sister at home for the last 2 weeks of her life – that was where she wanted to be. I understand how incredibly hard this is for you and your family and there is nothing I can say that will make it easier. But there are so many here for you – the support is incredible. If there is anything you want to ask me and I mean anything then please ask.
In my thoughts.
Clare
Hello and welcome. That is great news on your surgery and we love reading and hearing about the positive news. There is so much support and experience here -it’s a phenomenal forum!
Hi Alla,
I love the bit about the balloons! When my sister died, the day after her funeral we took her daughter who was 3 and various nieces and nephews to the cemetery. The children hadn’t come to the funeral so they were brought to the cemetery to see Mum/Aunty Nikki’s special place. They sprinkled stars over the grave and were to send balloons up to my sister. I filled them all with helium but the only one that went up was the one her daughter released. It kept going right up until it was out of sight. The rest just lay around the cemetery blowing about. Her daughters balloon was the important one and I believe was the only one to go up for a reason.
When my sister had her initial ercp for the apparent gallstone causing her jaundice, the surgeon suspected she might have psc (there never was a gallstone). When the brushings showed CC they investigated further for PSC but there was no indication she had it and it was ruled out.
Hi curlywurly35,
I just want to say hello and welcome to the site. There is great advice and support here and someone always comes along to help.
I am also in the UK, north of the border like Gavin. My sisters CC was inoperable and from the outset she suffered from fatigue. She never had chemo either and I understood that for her the fatigue was mainly due to her poorly finctioning liver. Infection was also a recurring problem as she had a stent and a drain but antibiotics usually did the trick.
For the pain, things can change and I would suggest if its a new pain then get it checked.
Here and the AAMF website Gavin mentioned are both worth there weight in gold.
Pam, I think about you and Lauren every day. My mum was as brave as my sister and was by her side every day during her illness, caring for her daughter. You are doing amazingly well – stay stong.
Dear Jeeyoung,
I am so sorry to read that your mum has died. There is nothing I can say that will make this better but please take care of yourself and the rest of your family.
