darla
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Kris,
You are awesome and I want to thank you for sharing this too. I think I need to think more about this for myself. I seem to have let my world and life shrink and it may be time to begin to expand it. Even with what you are all dealing with yourself, you are managing to help others. I’m so sure Hans will understand about the flower bulbs and be happy you bought them!
Darla
Teresa,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts & feelings. I have always found comfort in your posts. I can feel your love for Alan and the heartbreak and pain of your loss. I think it is great that so many of his friends have not forgotten him or you and are still keeping in touch with you.
It has only been a little over a year for me, but you are so right. It never really goes away. I do have some productive days, but there are still times I just sit and stare and think and remember.
I have a friend who lost both her husband and only child in less than a years time and another who lost her husband and a grandson in a short time. I have lost my husband & partner in life and you have lost your beloved son. I can not even imagine what it must be like for them to have lost both in such a short time.
We are all so fortunate to have found this site and all the wonderful people here. It is the love, kindness, sharing, caring and most of all understanding of each other and what we are going through, no matter where we are on this journey, that gives us all the strength to go on.
I hope you are able to find some joy in your crafts and other endeavors. maybe it is time for me to try something new, too. Something to fill the long evenings over the winter months.
Take care Teresa and keep coming back. I know I will.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaCyndi,
I also wonder if some is wishful thinking, but some is unexplainable and I do believe it is real and that our husbands are near to us on another plane watching over us.
Unfortunately there is no cure for what we are going through. I think this whole grieving process is a very personal thing and that only you know what is right for you. There is no time frame and it does seem to be a real rollercoaster ride of ups & downs.
I totally understand what you are feeling & going through as I have and still am experiencing a lot of the same things. No one seems to know or understand. Unless they have been where we are they can’t. Our lives have changed forever and I do feel that some of what we are feeling will never really go away, but we will learn to live with it and go on some how. I feel like the very worst that could happen in this life has already happened to us, so if we can survive this we will be strong enough to deal with anything else that comes our way. That little inkling of hope and the help and support of everyone here will get us all through this.
Take care Cyndi and keep in touch.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaYes Rick, I too understand your conflicted feelings of joy & happiness for your friend’s success with fighting this disease and the sadness & questioning of why our situations could have not had a better out come. I am so happy for those on this board that are doing well, but only wish we had been as fortunate and that more on here could be given more hope. Keep fighting Rick as none of us knows what the future holds and a positive attitude can’t hurt.
Love,
DarlaRick,
I am sorry that you have gotten such disappointing news. I agree with Lainy that you have every right to how you are feeling and then some. Congratulations on your new little boy. There is not much anyone can say or do at this point, but know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I also will be hoping for some better reports in the future.
Lots of Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Pauline,
I have to tell you that I have again been feeling and experiencing so many of the same things as you are. I just seem to keep trying to fill the time, but it all seems to be for nothing. Anything or nothing will trigger the low times. This morning I got up and just sat there wondering what to do. It is a beautiful day here for this time of year and Jim is not here to spend it with me. Sunday we always went out for breakfast and then on to enjoy the day together doing something or nothing, but together. Now I have to fill this time alone. I really don’t like doing much on Sunday’s as it seems every where I go all I see is couples enjoying their time together and it just makes me so sad and lonely. People do tend to think we should be getting over it and moving on, but they just don’t understand, do they? I do think it is comforting to know that others here know and understand and share a lot of these feelings with us. As you said, it is so simple and yet so complex, but what are we to do? We can’t change it. I do think we are all making a positive contribution right here. Helping & supporting each other. I also think it is normal & OK when we sink back a bit. Atleast we do seem to pull ourselves back out and go back to filling the hours and days trying to keeping busy.
So, thanks to all of you for being here. Everyone carry on and come here when you need to. I am thinking of all of you and hope everyone is doing OK.
With Love & Hugs,
Darla
I think it is a sandwich piled high with tender shredded pork soak in BBQ Sauce. I’ll have some too!
Darla
Kris, That sounds great. I am glad you and Hans got to get away from it all for a bit.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi Cyndi,
I too have experienced those low points and isolated myself, but atleast we can pull ourselves back up and go on, so that is positive. I am glad that you are now doing better.
As for your wonderful experience, many of us have had similar things happen to us and I truely believe that on some level our husbands are reaching out to us and it is comforting to know that they are OK and are never far away and watching over us. It is often just very small subtle things. I think we just have to be open and sensitive to it.
I hope your foot is on the mend and you are feeling much better now. Take care Cyndi. Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi All,
First, I want to thank you Kearton for your kind words. I guess all we can do is the best we can do & just to keep busy & try to go on. Know that we are all thinking of you and hoping for the best for both of you.
Sue, I think you and Joyce are doing amazingly well. You are both keeping so busy and trying new things. I am so in awe of how well you two seem to be doing.
Pauline, You must now be back in London and back to work. I hope you are doing OK. I also am not looking forward to the shorter nights and the long cold winter. Our clocks went back last weekend and I hate that it gets dark so early. You are so right, everything seems so mundane and everything we do now seems so pointless, but we do have to try to keep busy & try to go on. It is just all so hard. I hope you got a chance to get to the Academia Frienze before you left, as you had planned.
Janet, I hope things are going OK for you, too. Have you heard from your Mum since she left for England? You are so right, life does not seem to give us a break just because of what we are going through, does it? The dramas just seem to keep playing out.
Everyone take care and keep in touch.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi Kearton,
I too am glad that you have found your way to this site and also sorry you have needed to. This is a great group of people, all of who know what you are going through. It sounds to me like you are doing a good job dealing with a very bad situation that no one every thinks they will be in or want’s to be. Come back often. Everyone here is so helpful & supportive. Take care. My heart goes out to both of you.
Darla
You are so very welcome. I tried to link to the site & when it didn’t work I just kept trying until it did. Just a typo, no big deal! I hope things are going well at the conference & that you have been able to meet up with Patty and some of the others there. I am only about 3 hours away, but it just isn’t working for me this time around. I do hope to meet up with you and some of the others on this site in the future. Thanks for everything you do to bring more awareness to our cause.
Darla
