gavin

Hi Aiste,

Thanks so much for sharing the picture of your mum and your dad, love it! Thanks a lot.

Stay strong Aiste. You are doing everything that you possibly can for your dad right now and I know how much that will mean to him.

My best to you and your dad,

Gavin

Hi Carol,

Real glad to hear that your dads appetite has improved albeit slightly just now and I so hope that that continues and improves as well. My fingers are crossed that the steroids do the job here and I know from my dads experiences that he felt much better when his appetite was good and that he could eat things, he did like his food!

I hear what you say about hospice and all of that and can so imagine how your mum and dad reacted to that talk with the district nurse. Did the nurse say anything about day care centers as my dad went to a Macmillan one and that helped him a lot with dealing with all of this. My dads Macmillan nurse had a similar talk with all of us we felt just like you at the time too. But it could just be the case that they are bringing up the topic of hospice should the need arise at some point in the future. My mum who is also ill, she has COPD and I am are carer as well has had the same talk with her gp just so she knows what options are available in the future should you wish to think about them.

As to life expectancy Carol, I will be honest here and say that no one here can answer that question for you. First off none of us are doctors or oncs etc and we can not give that sort of advice to anyone. Also, statistics are just that, statistics, and they can be shown to prove or not prove anything depending on how someone wants to interpret them. There are statistics out there but my advice to you would be not to focus on them at all and just stay in the now. Myself, I liked to take things one day at a time as none of us knows exactly what lies around the corner or does not. We can not predict the future.

I so know that this is such a tough time for you Carol but please try and stay strong. I will say again that we are all here for you always.

Hugs,

Gavin

Hi Carol,

Welcome to the site although I so wish that you did not have to find us all here. Real sorry to hear what you, your mum and of course your dad are going through right now. But I am glad that you’ve joined us all here as you are in the best place for support and help and you will get loads of each from all of us here.

I too am from Scotland, in Dundee and like you I am also an only child so I so know what you are going through right now. My dad was diagnosed back in 2008 and like your dad as well his cancer came out of the blue. He too seemed very healthy, had recently retired and had just gone 64 and was in good health. Then the jaundice appeared and he was hospitalised and we got the news of inoperable CC. We all so know that feeling you talk of of things happening so fast with this. That is very common with this cancer and like Marion says, the silent disease that then comes out of nowhere.

Being an only child I too had nowhere to go really after my dads diagnosis and that is what led me here and I too feel that you coming here will help you as much as it did for me back then so please keep on coming back here. Whet helped me back then was in coming here I was around people who so knew what I was going through and how I felt and I feel that will benefit you as well.

Does your dad have the services of a Macmillan nurse? If not then I would strongly recommend that you get one sorted as they will be invaluable to you all. We got one after my dads diagnosis and she helped us so much. Like you, it was just me, mum and my dad and I would say to take all of the help that you can all get. Your dads GP or specialist at the Beatson will be able to refer your dad for one and he is entitled to them. The day to day carers will be of great help to your mum in the day to day care things but the Mac nurse will make things easier I would argue.

Right now I know that your head is still spinning with everything, that is normal and we have all gone through that. You are not alone in this now and we are here for you. Please keep coming back and if we can help in any way then please just ask and we will do what we can.

My best wishes to you and your dad,

Gavin

Hi Lorraine,

Brilliant news about Donnie, you just made my night!!! Sorry I didn’t see your post last night, not been on the site since yesterday. Well chuffed for you and Donnie and so glad to hear that the drain seems to be working right now as it should! Long may that continue and tell Donnie that my fingers are crossed for him and that I will open a tin of Irn Bru to celebrate for him! Tell him too that we are asking for him and looking forward to seeing him back here on the site.

Hugs,

Gavin

Dear Christian,

I am so very sorry indeed to hear of the passing of your dear Mum. Please accept my sincere condolences. I wish that I could help ease the pain that you feel right now and having lost my dad to this cancer as well I so know the pain that you feel.

Please know that we are all here for you and my thoughts are with you and your family right now.

Hugs,

Gavin

Hi Kevin,

Thanks for the update on your mum and how everything is going for her. Sure wish that the news on your mum was better and my fingers are crossed that the Gem/Cis does it’s job and hope that the next scans show some good news for you both. Loads of positive thoughts are heading down the M74,M6 and then the M1 to your mum in London!

Glad to hear that your mum is in reasonable spirts and I hope that there is something that can be done to lift them. I think that perhaps a therapist might be able to help with that if your mum was to talk with one with an open mind. I guess it wouldn’t help to try. For the benefits of our American friends here on the site, seeing a therapist to discuss anything is not like it is in the USA I would argue. Not really a British thing perhaps but what harm could it do Kevin?

Another option for your mum may be a daycare center every now and again. My dad was sceptical of this when it was suggested to him, closed mind and all that but we went once so he could see what it was like and he loved it there at the Macmillan centre. Not depressing or full of people moaning about things at all and he had a great time there. Do you think that your mum would be up for that Kevin? Or another idea could be going to the local Maggies Centre, I assume you have a few in London? There your mum would be able to talk with others in the same situation as herself and that might help as well. Just a thought.

My best wishes to you and your mum,

Gavin