jclegg
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Darla,
Words fail me, but know that we are all thinking of you, and wish you peace. I looked out my window tonight and saw the big, beautiful full moon and, as always, it makes me think of our loved ones, looking down on us and watching over us.Love – Joyce
Louise,
Condolences on the loss of your Mother. At least you know that she went peacefully, and that she is in a better place now. I find great comfort in that – no more suffering for our loved ones. And that, though they are gone from our sight on this earth, we will all meet again one glorius day. That is something to hang onto, as you journey this sad path.Joyce C.
Hello Everyone,
I just caught up on my reading the posts – it was good to hear what each of you is doing. Pauline, I can sympathize with the meltdown – I seem to go along really well, and then – no one is more surprized than me when – boom – something sets me off and I am weeping again. I just know that it is going to get a bit worse as I go into this time of year – I am feeling it already – I was just thinking as I drove home tonight that I am NEVER going to see Butch again. Now – I certainly must have thought that many times over the last 11 months, but – it just hit me anew today – I am baffled as to why, now – this is so on my mind.Sue – I am so happy for Sam – it sounds like she will be settled in to her new house, and her new life, and it will be lovely for her. I hope that things are going well with your Mom – is she at your house now? I know what you mean about the job – I would love to cut back, and it doesn’t seem possible – they held this job for me, and the projects need to be done, and I love my job – but – I would love to have a bit less of it! All together , though – I am grateful to have it – so many people are out of work, and it is hard times now, so – I better stop complaining!
Janet – I hope you enjoy your visit with your sister – I am so glad you are “branching out” – also happy that your winter is going away. I am sure you will be better in the coming season.
Darla – I know how difficult this date must be for you – I am thinking of you and sending you warmest thoughts, my friend.
I have a lot going on this month – I DO try to stay busy – I think it helps me greatly. I dread winter coming on – long lonely nights, as we all know. Well – I do have Flashy, so that is a big comfort!
Love to all of you,
Joyce
Dear All,
I forgot to mention that I agree completely on the alcohol – I believe that I have had a total of two drinks since Butch has been gone – and one of them was last week! I was afraid to drink.
Janet, Butch passed away October 9 and our anniversary was November 11 last year. It was horrible. Yesterday I took the girls to our little local zoo, and it was “bittersweet” for us. Every year since they were born, Grandpa and I used to take them there once a year – it was a tradition – and we always had such a good time – I have pictures from each year as they grew, posing with Grandpa. You know, I did feel his spirit there with us yesterday, though – I don’t “feel” him much anymore, but I did yesterday. We passsed the picnic table where we sat last year, and I swear – I could picture him sitting there, just like he was there with us! I don’t know how you will mark your anniversary, Janet – Butch’s sister took me out to dinner on our’s – it was awful, actually, but – better than staying home alone, she said!
Love – Joyce
Dear Ashlea,
I’m with you on the constant recall. My husband took hospice here at home, and , although like you and your Dad, the very end was peaceful with him and I together, him communicating with his eyes, the days leading up to this were not, and that memory STILL comes out and blasts me from time to time, even though it has been more than 10 months. For the most part, though, every time those bad memories start, I force myself to change to a happy memory, and it is working much better now than earlier in the year.I know what you mean about your Dad, too. My Dad passed away in 1995, and I got the chance to spend some time with him at the end, though he had suffered a series of strokes and was in a coma like state. He left my Mother here at home with two small children when I was 8 and my Brother 4 and he returned to Connecticut to live. I WAS Daddy’s little girl – we were so close, and I can still remember – 54 years later – how abandoned I felt when he left. We saw him infrequently after that – two weeks in the summer, sometimes at Christmas, and I missed him so. When I grew up, I went to see him and he showed me the letters I had sent him – he had saved then all! He explained that, like your Dad , he couldn’t handle the pain of separation so pulled away. The day I went to see him at the end, I told him I forgave him, and that I loved him deeply. I was holding his hand, and I think he squeezed it – I feel that we were able to communcate our love for one another. So we both – you and I – got our Dad’s back – actually, they never really left us, did they?
I am so sorry about your baby, but sure that your Dad is up there – in heaven – holding that child. What a relief for you to know that they are together now, and that someday you will see them both.
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you walk this path of sorrow.
Joyce C.
Hello all,
I have enjoyed reading all your traveling posts – Janet – Australia sounds lovely, and I would imagine there could be nothing finer than to be having a glass of wine with a husband watching a whale or a dolphin out on the water. Karen – sounds like a wonderful idea – I am planning a trip in late fall, and want to make it some “alone” time and some time visiting friends (my cousin just moved to Amarilla, Texas from Dallas, and I want to visit her). Darla – your day sounded wonderful, also – I pick fresh flowers out of my garden every day to cheer myself up. Pauline – it is always nice to meet up with friendly people we can converse with easily, is it not? Actually, to think that we could all meet someplace – like Italy, or someplace else – is SUCH a wonderful idea – if it weren’t for the expense, I would say – let’s do it NOW! I know we would have a wonderful time. Actually, there ARE pitfalls to traveling alone, but – in my mind it is better than being home alone all the time.I have my Granddaughters for a few days – my daughter and her husband are in in Nashville, and later today we are meeting up with cousins to play miniature golf, and then a swin in Great-Grandma’s pool – it is supposed to hit 90 today so – it will be welcome. Yesterday I took them school shopping, and that was VERY tiring – choosing clothes for two girls is decidedly tricky! They don’t like what I like, and I need to make sure they pick clothes that are “appropriate”. Fortuneately, we can do this the modern way – we took pictures of the questionable clothing on the girl , in the dressing room, on their cell phine, and sent it to Mom & Dad – they could say what they thought! I thought it was ingenuous.
Love to all,
Joyce
Dear All,
Just want to tell you all that I am thinking of you, and hope you are all doing OK – tough, tough times, but we are making it – one day at a time.
Lets see – what is new for me? Well, Flash got sprayed by a skunk, and that has caused all KINDS of trouble. After days of agony, and many bottles of “Nature’s Miracle skunk odor remover”, tomato juice, lots of elbow grease, he uis ALMOST back to normal. Needless to say, he was very unhappy, and – so was I!Well – that’s it – the big exctement in my life this last week!
Love – joyce
Dear Carol,
I am sorry for your loss, and hope that we can all support each other in the future. It is wonderful that you got to be with Dennie at the end, and that his pasing was peaceful. I find great comfort in knowing that I shared that with my husband Butch, We are all here for you.Joyce C.
To my dear friend Pauline,
So eloquently written, Pauline. Your Anthony must have been a very special person, as I know that you are also. I know how much you miss him – the “aloneness” gets to us , doesn’t it? Day after day of it. I am so glad that I have my daughter and her family to love and support me, and I still have my parents, also. They are wonderful, but, Lord – how I miss Butch. He was my soul mate and there is an emptyness that nothing can fill. I even try to tell myself that I am Ok – handled it all very well, but – I can’t fool myself! In the end, I am still lonely and he is still gone from me. My solace is to remind myself that we shall meet again one day, “on that other shore”.Love – Joyce
Dear Ashlea,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I read your posts, and know that you were a wonderful daughter. Although your Dad is gone from this world, I am sure he is watching over you from heaven. The love that we have shared with our loved ones stays with us here, and I pray that that love carries you through the paths of grief.Joyce C.
Marilyn,
All of us who have lost our husbands look around and see happy couples everywhere, and we wonder why that couldn’t have been us – I came out of the grocery store the other day and there were two older couples just standing there talking, and it made me tear up! So we understand what you are saying – we don’t know how long this will go on – it has been almost 10 months for me. We have just lost so much – it will take a long time, I am sure.Kris, that was so kind of you to write Marilyn and tell her that. It makes ME feel better to read what you have said – comnforted a bit. I have always said that Butch wanted me to be happy – he told me so, in fact, however, seeing it in writing from you helps me to accept it.
Love – Joyce C.
Hi Cyndi,
My Husband Butch had a blood clot that traveled to his lung. It happened after he had the biopsy, before we had the results, and they said he had a couple of small ones also. The Doctors said it was the result of having the tumors in his liver. He had to take coumadin (and other blood thinners) for the remainde of time he had with us. So I thought that it was common to have blood clots with this type of cancer.Joyce
Dear kris,
I don’t have much to add – everyone else said it so well, excpet that we all love you, and we will be thinking – and praying – for you.Love – Joyce C
Pauline, I want to join Janet in telling you that we are all thinking of you as you come up on the anniversary of Anthony’s passing. How terribly, terribly sad this all is. I am crying as I think of what to write, even. But do know that we all are here to comfort one another through this cruel journey.
Love – Joyce
Hello marilyn,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. There are many of us on this board who have lost our loved ones, and we try to hold each othr up. I lost my husband on October 9, 2008 after a 7 month battle, and I still am havving a hard time believing he is gone some times. My Grandchildren also talk about Grandpa Butchie a lot – the 15 year old always says he was her hero.Joyce C.
