katieloumatt

Pam,

Thinking of you and your family as you begin this painful task,

Katie

Pam,

I can so identify with you on this. My Dad passed away 3 months ago, my Mum lives in Florida and I live in England. Before we left (5 weeks) after Dad died I helped her ‘sort out’ Dad’s clothes but that is as far as we got…

Once I had come home she did some more sorting out with a close friend but couldn’t bear to dispose of his clothes. My Dad had 95 shirts…. No kidding, and they were all variations on a same theme. She has now donated all but 2 or 3 to the local charity shop, she was going to offer them to Dad’s friends but couldn’t run the risk of seeing someone else in her beloved husband’s clothes…

All that is left are some personal possessions and when my brother goes over in a couple of weeks he will help my Mum sort those out.

It all seems so final doesn’t it? But your memories and thoughts of your Mum are deep inside your heart and mind.

Will be thinking of you this weekend,

Katie

Hi Elmoks,

I can totally empathise with your desire to be kept in the picture regarding your Mum’s health but then part of you also not wanting to know the answers…

All I can say is when you are informed and aware then there is a certain amount of control which may give you some comfort at this difficult time.

We lost my Dad after a very quick progression 12 weeks ago, he had surgery but that didn’t go as expected. My Mum and I were shocked and distressed and consequently when the doctors rounded to see my Dad we would literally ‘run away’ becasue we didn’t want to hear the painful realisation that he wasn’t going to make it.

I am also a nurse but at the time I didn’t have my ‘professional head’ on, I was just a worried, anxious daughter.

3months down the road I am struggling because I don’t feel we were fully informed and I have such a lot of questions I need answers to. I know it is my own fault, the doctors offered to answer any questions we had at the time but we couldn’t think straight. I am now left unable to move on with my grief because I still haven’t fully come to terms with what happened to my Dad…

My advise to you is ask all the questions you need answers to, call the doctors, maybe see if you could see the doctor tomorrow or Wed?

As regards the websites I think there are links to useful websites, research etc at the top of the page.

Good Luck, thinking of you and your MUm

Katie

Hi Onlygirl and welcome to this friendly, supportive ‘club’. I have only been posting on here about a month but everyone is so nice and responnds truthfully and honestly with their experiences.

I hope you and your family get the guidance and advice you need fron the doctors,

Katie

Hi, can I just add how very sorry I am to hear of your loss of your beloved Mum.

I know a little of how you are feeling, we have just lost my Dad 11 weeks ago, just 7 weeks after diagnosis of cc. He had surgery to resect his liver but sadly the cancer had spread and he never regained consciousness and died 9 days post surgery in ICU. Like your Mum he suffered total organ failure due to the surgery and the fact he was left with so little functioning liver….

As Lainy and Kris have already said your Mum is with you in evertyhing you do. You will meet again and then there will be no more pain or tears.

Peace to you and your family at this most painful time,

Katie

Julia,

Sending you my thoughts and prayers at this most difficult time for you and your darling sister.

I live in Manchester, my parents live in Florida and in May this year my beloved Dad was diagnoses with cc, he had a 2 stage operation. The first was where the docs placed a stent into his bile duct then portal vein embolisation the following day where the blood supply to one side of the liver is killed off in an attempt for the ‘good’ side of the liver to re-generate. Dad then went back to theatre 5 weeks later for the liver resection.

He was in theatre an agonising 10hrs and when the doctor came to tell us the news we had dreaded…. The cancer had spread, 1/2 of his liver had been removed and what was left still had cancer in it… My beloved Dad didn’t stand a chance and passed away 9 days later without ever regaining consciousness.

My concern is that why the doctor proceeded with such radical surgery when the outcome was going to be so bleak for my Dad?

Your sister’s surgeon obviously realised the limitations of surgery on your sister and now maybe a different mode of treatment will be offered to her.

Just to let you know I know exactly how helpless and anxious you are feeling. Please stay strong and look after yourself, it’s difficult I know, but your sister needs you to lean on, and you in turn need someone for you to lean on….

Katie

Michelle, thinking of your Dad and hoping things work out with the lung biopsy. Stay strong to support your beloved Dad.

Katie