lalupes
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I found this article really helpful, too, Marion. When my dad died (sudden massive heart-attack) many years ago, I really felt I’d never be able to function again. Reading the article was painful, even after all these years, as I recognised many of the feelings described as feelings I’d experienced at the time.
It was good to read this article & see how far, far, far I’ve come. I hope no future loss will debilitate me that way again – & I don’t believe it will.
Thanks for posting the link
Julia
Welcome, melonhead; you don’t sound at all stupid – just in lots of pain for yourself & your soulmate.
I understand that pain – my sister has always been there for me & it’s so frightening to think of losing her.
Please come back & tell us more about you; there are lots of people on here with much, much more information than I have.
Julia
Oh Stan, what a beautiful, beautiful letter. My eyes filled up reading it & feeling all the love coming through your words & your memories.
Your dad must have been a very special person to deserve such a very special son.
I wish your dad a happy birthday, too – & much love to his loving family.
Julia
Where would I be without you lovely lot? Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I came on this morning, feeling so, so low after yesterday; I read your posts, meandered around other topics, flitted between boards & now I feel fighting fit again (exhausted, but still fighting).
She’s had such a tough few days. They tried to get the plastic stents out on Friday, but the little b*****s have migrated so that procedure was aborted. Yesterday, they did another EC-thingy & got a plastic stent out & 2 metal ones in – a very tough procedure, I’m told, but they got them well-positioned for optimal drainage. But she was in so much pain!!
She went down at 2.30, up at 5.30 & still wasn’t fully conscious when I left at 8.30. She was vomiting & asking for me. I held her hand & she squeezed my fingers but when I had to move to let the obs be taken she started asking again where I was. She slept when I sat & stroked her hand, then would open an eye to check I hadn’t gone & go back under again.
Having her ask for me like that was the most moving experience I’ve had & meant so much to me, but – $%&*, it’s tough to deal with.
[Then I looked at my stats this morning & discovered I’ve been promoted to Senior Member!! I feel like such a newbie still but reaching the Senior Member stage has really helped me face how far I’ve come in the past few painful weeks.]
I’m with you there, Floridamom. I’m cheering for you to prove everyone wrong who wants to stamp a “best-before” date on you.
You sound strong & determined & I send all good wishes winging their way to you.
Julia xx
What a wonderful expression, Louise!!! Thanks for that – I’ll reject all future SWAG statistics, too. Occasionally, I come across someone’s out-of-date SWAGs on other sites when I’m looking for something specific & it never fails to ruin my day (or a good few hours of it, anyway).
I do NOT want to hear numbers – which is why I was so pleased when my sister’s consultant said “we don’t do numbers, because we don’t know”.
Welcome from me, too, Ladyria. I do so understand the shock you’re going through. It’s only been 4 days since my sister’s CC was finally formally diagnosed, but they’d been muttering about it for a couple of weeks before that. She’s my “big sister” & she’s been around all my life so it’s incomprehensible to me that she may not always be around.
I agree with Lainy that, as the shock recedes, the fear eases & the fight takes over. That’s what I’ve found has happened to me since I discovered this wonderful site & stopped feeling so alone.
Please let us know how you get on. I send my very best wishes to you & your mum.
Julia
My very best wishes to you & your brother, Sandy. I feel the same about the speed of this wretched thing – how can so much happen so fast?
Thank you for your comment, Jamie; I hope it brings comfort to Sandy as it has to me & I send all the best to you for your treatment, too.
Julia
Good luck, Wendy – I’m rooting for you!!
I popped into the chat room once but I’ve never used one before, so I sort-of slunk away again. I’ll pop back when I can, too. I’m on British Summer Time at the moment, which is GMT+1.
Thanks for the quote – it’s lovely. I’m starting to collect quotes & that’s a great one to add to my collection.
Julia
Mine are, too, David.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dog, too; that must have been another severe blow.
With my very best wishes.
Julia
Welcome, onlygirl. I’m so sorry you have to be here but it’s nice to meet you.
I have no experience of chemo yet, but my sister will be starting a regime as soon as they get her bilirubin below 50, so I’ll be learning about the treatments with you.
With my very best wishes to you, your dad & your brothers.
Julia
