magic
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My sincere condolences to you and your family.You did so well and how lovely for your mum to get outside in the sun like that Janet
Pat,you and your family must be in such shock after getting the all clear so recently..My sincere condolences to you and your family Janet
Donna,
this can be a good time for you and Jim,without the pressure and stress,and its a time to have some nice times with each other and family and friends without worrying about treatments etc.
I have been through this too JanetSharon,chemo can cause heart arhythmias and another cause can be fluid overload which may mean the heart not pumping efficiently for whatever reason.I know you mentioned he was on the lasix which should help but he probably needs another tablet to slow and steady the heart. Janet
Pam,I have been around long enough to remember your mothers passing last year,The time has gone quickly yet slowly.You have been a kind and caring woman,Pam and we love you back Janet x
Julia you already know some of my thoughts but I think for us in a younger agegroup the shock of the initial diagnosis is pretty earthshattering and the not knowing if our loved one will be in the small percentage that buy some extra time with treatment because it is pot luck who responds and who doesnt.I think as a sister or partner it is terrifying.I think you rally a bit and amazingly get by in a relatively normal way,all the while with your fears lurking just below the surface.
But unfortunately it is time that will make the difference to your state of mind.The more time that goes by and Susan stays ok and the illness is stable the more relaxed about it all you will feel and your mood will improve.
If it goes the other way it will be terrible for you and another journey but you wont be dealing with uncertainty.
I dont know if you are seeing a counsellor or psychologist but I think that helps and I think just going with the flow,accepting that if you are feeling rotten for a few days you will pass through it.Do what usually gives you a lift and sometimes it works and if its not working,just go home or whatever.I have had a few disasters,the 60s party at the surf club one of them!
Janet xI understand exactly what your husband meant and I think it good to have the input of your local doctor who may be able to see the whole picture.Talk to your oncologist and get a realistic picture of what can be done and let Jim make the decision.Strangely people can sometimes improve and plateau for a while with palliative treatment particularly when chemo hasnt been working that well.
JanetGo to see your dad,You will remember him when he was well,that is how our brains deal with this,but you need to be there with him now Janet
Tina,you need to have very good psychiatric support for your husband and he really needs to be on the right medications because your fears are quite reasonable and there are a lot of triggers here that could worsen his bipolar condition.There is also the possibility that his denial could be a delusion.It makes everything so much harder when there is a mental health problem.You need good carer support for both conditions.
I myself was in an unenviable position last year when my husband died and my son who has bipolar became manic .We were between psychiatrists at the time and that made things worse!
Good luck with everything JanetIt is a very hard time and I think it is harder when you have kids who are still young.My youngest son was 17 when my husband died and the other two in their early twenties still all at home,the youngest in his last year of high school.I found it such a struggle and still do really.
Sometimes you get a bit of extra energy to deal with all the paperwork etc but lets face it the grieving has been happening since diagnosis and just keeps on going.We know how it feels and it takes time and you need to be very patient with yourself.Do everything you can to make yourself feel better and sometimes it works.Excercise is good
My sincere condolences Janet
