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Dear Jtoro,
I also had guilt and wondered what I did to get this cancer. It finally went away and some hope and gratitude have taken its place. I know that I will never be grateful for getting cc, but I am grateful for the opportunity to live each day to the fullest, to take care of relationships that mean so much, to know how blessed each day is, to make amends and to always say I love you. My days seem sweeter and my priorities are different. If I were to die unexpectedly, I might not have realized all these things….so in some warped way …. I am a better person.
By the way….I am 42, diagnosed in Dec. 09, successful liver resection and cancer reoccured in March 09 to my lungs. Stage IV but living large!! Hang in there, my prayers are with you.
MelindaI am sorry to hear about your sister and my heart breaks for her. I am a 42 y/o mother of 6. The ages are 21, 18, 15, 12, 12, and 8. The youngest two are stepchildren but are as close as my own. My will to survive is purely for them and can’t imagine leaving them and for them to have to go back to my ex-husband. I feel her pain and your frustration. I am sorry and wish I had some miraculous words of wisdom….I do believe in miracles and my faith is strong, but that doesn’t always keep me from thinking about what might come.
My 21y/o son, who is in the Navy called the other night and said sorry for all the things he may have done and begged me to live to see him have children. I promised to do my best…that is all we can do.
Know that you and your sister are not alone and I pray for your depression and anxiety to lessen so you can focus on the moments that are precious now.
Melinda
I am sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your children to find peace. Take care and God Bless you!
MelindaMarion, yes I wish we would be meeting under any other circumstances…never in a million years would I have thought cancer would happen to me let alone such a rare form. Thanks for the search suggestion…it helped to read about others.
Kathy, I had been doing Emend with steroids until I started having some steroid psychosis, would definitely rather deal with the nausea than that!!
We tried some Phenergen with the Emend which knocked me out for 3 days. This last time we did Emend and Zofran combo, didn’t work so well. I think I will go back to the Emend and phenergen combo…sleeping for 3days is not such a bad thing!!! How long have you been doing the Gem/Cis combo? It seems to get harder each cycle for me…how about you?Lainy, thank you….I am happy and fortunate that we even found it when we did. I have always been healthy, active and very busy. It was a miracle that it was accidently discovered by an ultrasound! My children range in age from 21 – 8 years, they and my husband give me strong motivation to fight this battle. I am a strong believer in miracles!!
Gavin, thanks for responding…I am glad to be a part of this group…it is just what I needed. This is hard for me, I am not used to being tired and find myself getting frustrated that I can’t do as much as I used to. Just to fill you in a little, my husband and I were full time paramedics…both going to nursing school fulltime and being parents of 6, nothing stopped because of the cancer, except my energy level!!! It is great to be able to relate with others!!
Glad to be here……Melinda
Hi all, I am a 42y/o mother of six, wife, and cc patient. I was diagnosed with Intrahepatic CC in December, 09. Three weeks later I had 2/3rds of my liver removed. Margins all clear, no lymph node involvement. No chemo after surgery…don’t remember it even being an option. Follow up scan in March showed spots in my lungs, biopsy confirmed the metastisis. We traveled to Mayo for second opinions and in June started Gemzar and Cisplatin. Have had two scans since starting the chemo, both scans showed no growth, my doc says we have a stable disease for now.
So far my liver is great. I am wondering if there are any others out there with cc just in the lungs and how treatment is working for them. My insurance won’t approve any other treatments but the Gem and Cis combo. I strongly dislike the week of Cisplatin, but manage to get through it. The nausea and fatique are the worst!
I am glad I found this site. This is such a rare cancer that it frustrates me to not have more answers. Thanks for sharing and my prayers are with you all!
Melinda
