natasha

Hello every one,

I’m thinking about the days when I was running to this website for support and have been almost afraid to come back to it for all the memories. It is my moms 2 year memorial April 14 and my dads 2 year memorial was Feb 28.

I feel full of word and speechless at the same time. I often want to talk about my parents as I’m sure you all relate. They never will be forgotten, all our loved ones.

The last week of my moms life I was pregnant and didn’t know. We now have a beautiful , baby girl of 15 months and having her immediately after loosing both parents has been the greatest gift ever.

I hadn’t been sure about having kids and a dietician who was tending my mom at the hospital and who had seen me go through my dads sudden death and my moms 4 month stay at the hospital, convince me that it was time to start my own family and to not ask too many questions. My loving partner has always been ready but never pushed. I gues in my open vulnerable state she got through to me and immediately after experiencing the greatest pain I had known, I experienced the greatest joy. We have decided to get married this June and you are all invited!! I’m so grateful for all of you and this board and send so much love and care and blessings to everyone, including our dear ones on the other side. Mama, Baba sas agapo polh kai then sas xehnaw pote. (Mom and dad I love you very much and will never forget you.)

Thanks again for having suppported me throughthis and now, that I finally have the strength to come back here , I hope I can be of help to some one as well.

Hello Cyndi,

I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I know there’s not much that words can do. My mom passed away about 2 weeks ago as well after a very long struggle. i was in the hospital with her for 4 months. Slept there most nights. My dad passed away suddenly too about 2 months ago. Praying for love, comfort, guidance and strength for you.

Love truly transcends all planes.
Natasha

hello friends,

since my last post, my Dad passed away. todays was the comemorative 40 days we practice in the greek orthodox religion.

my mom is going this week or next at most. i was strong thru my fathers death which was totally unexpected but now, i feel weak and emotionally drained. i arranged for mom to go home over last weekend and she was so greatful. since we’ve been back to the hospital, i hardly recognize her. she became constipated and has internal hemeroids which are killing her. pardon the pun. its been since dec 28 2008 we’ve been in the hospital and its finally comming to an end. my heart is breaking and i want her to go at the same time. its so hard to witness someone you love dying and suffering so much. she cries and cant move around and spends an hour at a time going to the washroom trying to relieve herself. its true that when the bowel movements stop and the peeing slows down its only days before dying right? i feel exhausted and nervous like i cant take it anymore, and the i look at the fight my mom has put up and think shes the most courages person in the world. it seems the more you care for someone the more grief you feel when they go. i dont think i’ll feel guilty. i’ve quit my job and spend midnight till 7pm there every week day.
Any insights as to how many days after the bowel movements stop? she sleeps with her mouth open and her eyes half open and turned slightly back.
i know theres not much else to do, but it feels good to rant like this! thank you everyone whos reading.
i believe in not standing in front of nature takling its course and respect the dying process. i am shocked by my fathers death but understand he could not witness this anymore. and i pray for my mom, Mary, and everyone who goes thru challenging times for strength and guidance and love.

My mom is preparing her trip home and i am proud to have assited her in this last leg of her journey. i am afraid, but somehow feel courage and strength in between the seams that are ripping apart.

blessings to you all and thanks agin.
anastasia

Hello, glad to here John is doing better! Its so challenging to witness this and harder still to go through. My mom had very bad sepsis and today she seems to be reacting well to a second antibiotic. Roller coaster ride indeed.
Blessings
Natasha

Thank you for reading my post and responding. It means so much to hear back from people who understand. I’m in Canada and thankfully our tax dollars are paying for moms medical sponges and things like that. My mom has since had 2 infections and a couple of painful procedures with the drain. On a bad day she asks to be put out of her misery and says this is not a life worth living. She’s in the hospital over 40 days now. I spent the first 20 with her, then her sisiter took over for another 20 and I’m back again. It’s harder this time. She had a high fever today and has lost lots of weight and for the first time, was extreamly exhausted the whole day. I wonder when she will leave us. I wish there was something I could say to her to bring some kind of peace to her. Shes so fragile and child like and so sweet. She doesn’t want to bother the nurses even when she’s not well. She’s always concerned about our well being and has appologized many times to my brother and father and my self for putting us through this. Does any one have any idea if the exhaustion and fever are signs of the end? I feel like I want to talk about how she feels about dying, but can’t bring myself to it. Has any one regretted not asking those questions?
My heart truely goes out to any one who has experienced the overwhelming feelings and helplessness and loss that comes with terminal sickness.

Hello,
It’s quite touching to read through these messages. I too offer prayers for strength and resilience. My mom is in the hospital for 3 days now, bile duct cancer within the liver. Diagnosed a year ago and is off chemo now. No eating just I.V. Jaundiced too. She looks like she’s healthy. And thats what is hard to wrap my mind around. I wish someone could tell me how long she has. I spend the nights with her and am happy to do so. Shes suffering but trying to not show it. Today she said she didn’t want to live this way. This is all very sureal. Does anyone have any experience with what the end stages are like. Symptoms? I know this is a heavy question, but I would appreciate all honesty.

One bright morning when my work is over….I’ll fly away home. -Bob Marley