pamela

Hi Derin,

My daughter is on Gem/Cis and 5FU. She has had no major problems with three chemo drugs. She felt a little queasy the first few rounds, but nothing major. She has had to have her Cisplatin dose lowered a few times because of low platelet counts. She has also lost all of her hair and now has little, short what I call ducky fur. She looks really adorable though. She gets Aloxi in her IV before chemo for nausea that lasts 3-5 days. She also takes Compazine for a few days after chemo. She is coming up on her 12th round of all of this chemo and is doing very well and her tumors are shrinking as of the last MRI. She will be having another MRI and full body CT on March 8. Hopefully, things are still looking good. Her doctors are all amazed at how well she is doing. I think you and my Lauren are two of the lucky ones that don’t feel cruddy from their chemo. I say YAY to that!!!

-Pam

I can’t tell you how it feels, because I don’t know. What I do know is that my daughter is close to your age and has this cancer. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if she dies. It seems like it would be like what you describe. I don’t know if I could ever find joy again. I don’t know if I could ever get out of bed. I don’t know if I could bear to even talk to her boyfriend because he would be so devastated. I worry our family would fall to pieces. But as I read what you are writing, I realize no matter how bad it hurts, I have to keep on living for my other children and my husband. Lauren would never want me to curl up and give up. She would want us to all be happy and go on enjoying life. Your Mom would not be happy if she knew you were so sad. Don’t be scared to move forward without her, because you are never without her. She is in your heart forever. She watches you from heaven and wants you and your family to be happy. Maybe you would benefit from some grief counseling or maybe you just need time to start to heal. I think you are perfectly normal and just miss your sweet Mom. I hope things get easier for you. God bless you and your family. Take care.

Love, -Pam

Dear Sharon,

I am so sorry to hear that your Mom has passed. May your sorrows today be replaced in time with loving memories. God bless you and your Mom in heaven.

Love, -Pam

Andie-

It is so evident that you loved your Dad more than life itself. That says it all.
God bless you.

Love, -Pam

Terri,

I just wanted to let you know that I am very sorry to hear that Suzanne has passed. I pray for all of you to be given the strength to get through this difficult time. I am happy that Suzanne is no longer in pain and is finally free of this horrible disease. May she rest in peace.

Love, -Pam

Susie,

Have a great time, be careful, and rest when you need to. Geez, I don’t sound like a Mom , do I? You don’t need to ask for prayers from me because I pray for you and everyone on this site every day! I will throw in a couple extra ones for you though. Take care and enjoy life!!

Love, -Pam

Ha ha Cathy. Sometimes when people tell me they read the caring bridge I write about Lauren, I think uhoh, I hope I didn’t write anything offensive because I usually just write off the top of my head and only go back and proofread for spelling errors. I try not to write anything that would embarrass Lauren. It seems like on this site it is more “anything goes” and we can post stuff about constipation and stuff like that because everyone on here has the same kind of problems. I find that refreshing and that is why I love this site and all of you!

-Pam

I’m sorry you are still in so much pain. I will pray that you will get through this week. Wayne would not want you to be so sad. My thoughts are with you.

Love, -Pam