roma35
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Tess,
You are an amazing person, and you have been an incredible support system to me on this journey. I can only imagine what a wonderful father Jack was, because he has raised such a kind, thoughtful, considerate daughter. Your father was absolutely taken too soon, the the only solace is that he was with his loved ones when he passed over, and he will never suffer another moment of pain with this horrible disease. I hope I can handle what comes my way with this disease with the same elegance and grace you have displayed.
Your little boy will always feel Grampas presence, because he lives on in you.
Take Care and God Bless
xoxoxo
BarbaraWhat a beautiful, moving tribute to your mom, it brought tears to my eyes. She seemed like an incredible, strong mother/women. No wonder you are so proud of her. I am so sorry she and your family had to suffer with this horrific, unfair disease. I hope it can give you some comfort that you are not alone, all of us on this site know your pain, sorrow and frustration. Feel free to vent, rant, cry, reflect with us, we are all here to help.(infact, I know it helps me to try to help others) I am pretty sure that is your mom fluttering around your home letting you know she is o.k. and she is still watching over you.
Take care and God Bless
peace
BarbaraThanks Darla for the vote of confidence in me as a mom. Sometimes I need a boost, b/c I am falling short often and I am expecting a 10 year old to always undertand. Joyce, I can totally relate to the operating on one engine, I dont know how I get anything done anymore(well, I dont actually…..I am getting ready to make Michaels B-day icecream cake for school tomorrow, which was supposed to be brought in today, oh well only a day late, thats pretty good for me these days! Sounds like you work for a kind company with heart, or else, maybe because you are a kind person with heart that they were so good to you. Off to bake.
Take Care
BarbaraThank you so much everyone. I am calling the Hospice Dr tomorrow and telling him just that. Even if the fluid is in “pockets” in my dads case, any fluid they can get out of him will be a relief. After the hundreds of trips we have made to the hospital, what is another few trips to get relief? This way, maybe he doesn’t have to spend the rest of his life laying down, maybe he can actually sit up for a bit. (ah, the little things in life people take for granted!) I am not taking “no” for an answer.
Thanks gang
Peace
BarbaraThanks Patty, its good to hear that I am not the only one that has messed up at work. I can’t get anything done right now. I work in sales and that requires me to drive around to my accounts, talk to buyers, find out what they need, at the very least I need to call. Some days I cant even talk, so I dont do anything for work. Yesterday, drove a half hour to an account, got there and sat in my car another 1/2 hour. I finally went into the store and musstered up some strength to have a conversation, but it was like pulling teeth for me. I am sure I am doing some damage to my job now, but I’ll figuire that out later. I prefer to stay with my dad, my mom cant handle it alone emotionally, so it is where I need to be now. Unfortunately in the retail world, (especially in this ecomony) it does not really matter what is going on in ones personal life…..
Thanks again for all of you making me feel a bit better about myself.
Barbara
BTW my son had a decent Birthday considering he came down with strep throat, missed his playoff basketball game b/c of it, and had to have his party at his dads cancelled. He was way happy about his new cell phone, although, I don’t know who he is going to call??Awesome idea. I think any activity that can take you away mentally, if for only an hour, helps to heal and cope. I would like to try yoga or medition, when I have more time Now, between my son, my job, taking care of my dad and taking care of my mom and her emotional needs, there is no tme. I do mangage a few days a week to go running, which feels great to run and cry, which always ends up happening.
Peace
BarbaraHi Michelle,
I, too. remember that feeling July of 07, when it was determined that my father(71) had CC. I was online immediately(not this site) and found many disheartening stats. However, stats are not always accurate, and every person reacts different with this cancer and treatment. There are people on this site, that have had success with treatment and or surgury, and I am sure they are going to chime in very soon and introduce themselves to you. I am in no way an expert on this cancer, but I am learning everyday from the wise people on this site. I am deeply sorry for your news, please let us help, whether if you need a place to vent(it can help), if you need info, prayers, we are here.
Peace
BarbaraThanks Ladies, you made me feel better on this super dreary, rainly day in Chicago. I think it is really difficult for my son to see his grandfather so sick. I was divorced by the time my son(Michael) was 3 and we lived with my parents for a year, and then moved down the street from them. We have eaten dinner with them almost everynight Michael is with me, took vacations together, infact a few years ago, Michael and my dad and I went back to Italy together for a family wedding. His grandfather dying is going to be the first death of a close family member for him. A few weeks ago we were with my dad and he was telling Michael he wished that Michael still played soccer. My father loves Italian soccer, he watches his team Roma play everyweek, and Michael played since he was 5, and was actually pretty good, but he burned out and actually prefers baseball and basketball to Soccer. When he used to play, my dad came to every game and I know he missed it last year when Michael didn’t play. So a few days ago, my ex husband called and said “did you know Michael wants to play soccer again?” I hung up and I thought that is what my boy is doing for Grandpa. He knows his grandfather isn’t going to make it to any games, but he is going to do it for him anyway.
I will try to do something with him for his grandpa, I have been working on a picture album and since my 10 year old is far more tech versed then me, maybe he can download pictures with music and create a video and give all the family something to remember.
O.K. maybe I am not the worst mom in the world, I think I am raising a pretty good kid.
Oh, by the way, I went with one of my neices and got Michael a cell phone for his birthday. He has been asking for 2 years and I have always refused, but what the heck, he only turns 10 once.
Now I may go running in the ugly rain to blow off steam and probably shed a tear or two.Heather, I wanted to let you know, I understand where you are coming from. I started to come on this site last August and then joined shortly after that, but I, like you, didn’t comtribute much. I thought I didn’t have much to add, but negativity. I, initally came on to the site looking for “success” stories, and soon realized they were few and far between. When it was becoming clear that my fathers CC was in a terminal stage, I realized I needed this site and the people on it. I am not alone, and that is the only comfort I have now. Hopefully, one day I will gather strength and comfort in my memories of my dad, but now I see suffering, pain and loss of dignity from such a proud man. I hope through my 20 months experience of battling this dreadful cancer with my dad, I have gained something, that will be able to help someone else suffering through this. I know lots of wonderful people on this site have done this for me. You are a very valuable person to this site, because you have allready walked the path that many of us are having to face now. Im sorry for your experiences and I wish you neve had them, but you give me comfort in knowing you undertand when so many others around me don’t. Together we can stand and fight this dreaded cancer.
BarbaraHi Jennifer,
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, and I am sorry that your loss has found you at this site. However, I am in the process of losing my father to Cholangiocarcinoma and this site has been a Godsend. The people on this site will cry, laugh, commiserate, advise, and just plain old listen when we all need someone to talk to. Where can I go at 3 am when I am wide awake? If you just want to read other posts or if you want to chime in or initiate, there are understanding people here to listen. Ill include you in my prayers and I hope you stay on and let us help b/c you are not alone.
Take Care
Peace and Prayer
BarbaraNatasha,
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I hope your father didnt suffer too much.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace and Prayer
BarbaraHi Pam, I hear you on the “dignity” and “cold hard reality”- which is a question of safety. Between the morphine, fentenal and the skin and bones legs my dad is walking on, I cringe when he gets up to walk into the bathroom. I keep offering to help, but his pride wont let him.
Do you get the station K-love? I know it is nationally sindicated, and it is a spiritual but not over the top. It might keep you company. Take care and drive safely.
BarbaraMorning JeffG, thanks for your kind words. When I finally, gradually made the switch in my mind from “lets cure this cancer” to ” lets stabilize the cancer so dad can live a while with it” to “lets just keep him comfortable and out of pain”, it was a bittersweet relief. Calling hospice and letting them help us with his pain as he enters the journey to the otherside, and accepting that is what the situation truly means, is the most difficult part. Jeff, I think about you and Valerie often, and I have so much gratatude and respect for you for all you have done to help others in your situation. You defied the odds with this brutal cancer and continue to do so, Just keep taking it to the limit. You have a great day as well.
Peace and Prayer
BarbaraHey Katie,
I am in agreement with Pam and Marion, my father completely tollerated gemzar. Any possibility of side effects did not occur, including no hair loss.
Infact my dad worked the whole time he was doing the chemo, he even went down to Florida for a week. Sun and fun would do you good!
Peace and Prayer
