stella1960
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My beloved Peter passed away 2 days after your husband, on 21 March 2014. May I say that I know exactly how you are feeling, the yo-yo of emotions, the business of getting everything ready for a funeral and even the choas you are experiencing in your life. I would like to hold your hand and walk this path with you. You are welcome to email me privately. XXX
Hi there
Things are not looking too good for my man. One specialist has suggested he may have as little as 2 weeks to live. It is a shock to see him disintigrate under the power of this cancer. This afternoon he become very ill with loud groaning as he threw up. He asked me to phone for an abulance as he is dying…. he is in hospital and could not understand why the ambulance was not coming. I sense that some nurses are loosing interest in him or it just may be my sensitivity. The care-givers in the ward are amazing people. I dont know where to from here….Hi All
Thanks for all the information and encouragement. My husband is still in hospital and very week. They have a progrma of when they tap off the fluid. This morning I went to help him with his breakfast and to take his tablets. He threw up about 2 cups of fluid and porridge. Although he has often been nauseous, this is the first time he has thrown up so much content. He has been in hospital for 2 weeks, beside 2 nights he was at home. This morning he was unable to stand up from the armchair and it took two of us to get him onto his feet and into bed. He has become very quiet and seldom speaks. It is so sad to see a determined man with a dominant character reduced to this.Last night, a “permanent” drain was inserted into my husband’s abdomen. Over 24 hours, 10 litres of fluid have been tapped off. His ankles are alot less swollen and his abdomen is looking better but still somewhat out of shape. He is still unwell. I dont know how I am going to cope with the drain but I do wish I could bring him home now as I want him with me.
Adam. are you still with us on this discussion board? Just been reading the posts and wondering how you are?
Yes Lainy, please email the article to me. I feel knowledge gives my more control as if I know what to expect, I know how to react. Thanks so much.
Thanks to all for your words of encouragement and understanding. Often we care-givers feel so alone.
This evening, we decided to sell my Isuzu twin-cab. I have had it for 14 years and it has taken us many outback places. But we need to sell it and my daughter’s old car to purchase a reliable car for her. I will have my husband’s fairly new car. It is really tough to make these decisions but I am fortunate to have him clear minded and able to advise me.
It’s been a tough day today. Trying to get all the paperwork sorted, documents signed, house onto my name. Hoping there will be enough time for him to assist me with his wisdom.
He has much backache which is probably from the cancer in his lymph etc.
The oncologist has not mentioned a plan of action regarding the fluis in lung linig or abdomen. However, our doctor mentioned to my daughter, that they could look at draining it. Will it help or cause more damage? His abdomen is very swollen and often seems to spread out in different directions. He has lost 10kgs but that is all in his shoulders, arms and legs. Abdomen seems much bigger than before.
The Oncologist has suggested trying chemo to assist with the discomfort. We are waiting to see if the medical aid will approve it.
How long can this go on?!Hi there. Your story sounds so much like mine with my husband. I can hear the emotion as I read your post becuase it is how I am feeling.
All the best with the treatment and I hope to here that it all turns to the good again soon.
Also a firm believer in God and hoping for miracles.
Take careThanks all. I have been Googling the info on the scan report. The cancer has spread even further than what the Oncologist in his wisdom, told my hubby. There are just some things not worth telling him. He sleeps most of the day. We are considering chemo to help releive the discomfort and hoepfully give him some stronger days. Not sure what to expect or how long this will carry on.
Well, it’s the worst news we could have wished for. The cancer has spread extensively. The radiation did nothing to curb the growth of the original cholangiocarcinoma which has actually grown! We have a 2 page (A4) report of where all the cancer has gone – and this in 4 months. Also there is fluid in the lining of his lungs and in his abdominal area. Not good news at all. I dont know what else to say…
Our 13 year old Jack Russell terrier is behaving very differently to normal. She was always an outside dog and never slept in the house. Even after our other dog passed last March, she continued to live outside. However, since my husband was diagnosed at the end of December 2013, she refuses to be outside. She whines and barks at the door until we let her in. She follows me everywhere and sleeps at my feet, wherever I am, during the day and at our bedroom door at night. It is as if she senses I need her company. She is very deaf and has cateracts. She is also full of lumps which dont seem to worry her. The Vet says to leave her be as she eats well and does not appear to be in pain. It will be a sad day when she has to leave for doggy heaven. So yes, I think our pets are very aware of what is going on.
Hi there Judith.
So good to have another member of the family living in the southern hemisphere! I am in South Africa.
One thing I have learnt from this wonderful group of people, is that their advice is practical and is given from personal experience. That helps alot. So often people want to offer advice out of the kindness of their hearts, but do not know what they are talking about, because this cancer cannot be compared to others.
When this group suggests a medication, I check Google to see what it’s make-up is and then ask my local pharmacist if we have a similar product in SA. “Trade names” of medication is not always the same throughout the world.
All the best with your husband. My husband went through different tests between October 2013 and diagnosed with ICC on 29 December 2013.
Looking forward to getting to know you better as we share out life experience together.
Stella!Seems almost unfair that I as a Type 2 diabetic, have received a good report at my annual check-up today. HBa1C is continuing to come down, blood pressure very good during stree ECG and cholesterol almost normal (best in 10 years)…. and yet my husband is so ill….
Hi there
Some solid advice was given to me 2 weeks ago. My husband was diagnosed with ICC in December 2013. The advice given was that I must take over control of all legal and financial matters. I have begun to do so. I do involve my husband, who is not well enough to do these things himself. I have requested a list of all his insurance policies, and communicate with his medical insurance and have seen to the Will. I am also helping him manage his business.
I would suggest that you write a new Will and then read through it with him. Have 2 friends (not family) present when both of you sign it.
Have your attorney draw up a power of attorney document, giving you signing rights if he is not well enough to make decisions.
You do need to take control, even if it seems unfair to him. As a matter of fact, you will be helping him and taking care of the future of yourself and your children.
It is tough. I have terrible emotion times. I feel awful but know that it is necessary.
Also, ask him questions and write down answers (obviousloy not blatantly in front of him). Think of anything you may need to know when he is gone.
I hope this information helps and encourages you.
Know this, everyone on this forum knows and understands what you are going through. It is good to have people to talk to who understand the emotions and decisions you face.
