June 1, 2010 at 9:40 pm #38588ladybug02142004Participant
I can speak as a caregiver, and I can speak for Dave. These are the things that I know he hates.
He hates that he has a horrible looking scar on his stomach that will never go away.
He hates that he looks like he has a massive watermelon under his shirt due to the large Hernia.
He hates that when his power port is flushed he gets a horrible taste in his mouth.
He hates the nausea, and that certain smells bother him that never did before.
He hates that he can no longer carry his little girl to bed.
He hates that he is not as strong as he used to be, and can’t do all the things he was able to, just 2 years ago.
He hates that horrible feeling that we all get the night before the scan.
I think this was a good thread, a way for everyone to vent, and to realize that it is ok to be frustrated, and it helps so much to tell others about it, and to know that they have the same feelings.
If I have not said this before…you all are wonderful people, and you give others the one thing that we all need. A place to go to and look for answers, hope, love, and encouragement!
God Bless!June 1, 2010 at 8:22 pm #38587betsyParticipant
Thanks for the info. re. alcohol. My doc said I can have an occassional 4-6 ounces of wine but I find I don’t feel good at all afterwards. I did have some kind of amazing cocktail on my birthday and it was worth feeling a little crappy later on. Summer was my favorite time of year for cocktails – I did love a good margarita or a gin and tonic with lime. Do you feel lousy after a drink?
BetsyJune 1, 2010 at 7:24 pm #38586lisaParticipant
I hate the smell of the antiseptic hand sanitizer.June 1, 2010 at 11:29 am #38585devoncatParticipant
Betsy, I feel for the apple martini though my poison is margaritas. My best friend who is a pediatric oncologist has assured me that alcohol every once in awhile (though you need to check your medications) will not harm the liver anymore that the cancer already has. She only said once in awhile and moderation though. So I had a margarita on Cinco de Mayo and a very small glass of champagne last week to celebrate 1/4 of radiation done. Guilt takes away some of the pleasure, but not all
KrisMay 31, 2010 at 1:53 am #38584betsy-kubbinsParticipant
I hate the smell of alcohol
I hate 4×4 squares of gauze
I hate measuring bile from my drainage bag
I hate how pathological I’ve become about taking my temperature
I hate that I can’t enjoy an apple martini anymore
I hate that my kids worry they might “catch” liver cancer
BetsyMay 31, 2010 at 1:34 am #38583tommyMember
since my mom doesn’t get on the computer I read all of this to her and this is what she hates:
I hate: being in the hospital and the machine beeps and the nurse takes forever to come.
The nurses question you on how bad your pain really is.
Being some dang emotional.
Not being able to take girl days with my daughters because I’m sick.
Not being able to hold my grandchildren or babysit them because I’m weak and tired.
Not being able to work in my garden because I’m weak.
Waking up in the morning and not knowing weather or not I’m going to throw up or not.
Walking up and wondering will this be a good day or a bad day.
I hate having more hair on my face than my husband does.
I hate being 54 years old and looking like I’m 9 months pregnant.May 31, 2010 at 12:36 am #38582lainyParticipant
May I butt in here? I do have cancer even though it’s not CC and of course Teddy has CC but he doesn’t use the computer:
I HATE that so many wonderful, caring, loving, people on our Board have this Cancer!!!
I hate that nothing much is being done in the field of research.
I hate waiting for decisions and test results for us and for you.
I hate hearing that one of my buddies here is not doing well.
I hate when someone gives up hope.
I HATE that there is nothing I can do to help.
I HOPE one day to see changes and I HOPE that day is soon!May 31, 2010 at 12:05 am #38581lisaParticipant
Things I Hate about cancer:
not being able to work.
not being able to ski/bike/play soccer.
living on a reduced fixed income.
more medical bills.
hospital stays from infections.
numb fingers and toes.
poverty.May 30, 2010 at 11:18 pm #38580rick-kampMember
I hate the rash that Tarceva causes. It makes me look like the worst pimpleheaded teenager in town.
I hate that colon cancer ultimately led to a colectomy and replacement of the colon with a J-pouch. It’s continent, but not nearly as functional as original equipment.
I hate that I have lost a lot of my muscle mass and feel weak most of the time.
I hate so many little things AND big things about cancer and my health condition. Perhaps the thing I hate the most is that I never saw this coming and there is nothing I could have done to prevent it or cause it.
I could go on and on also, and it does help to vent a little bit sometimes. Sometimes the reality of having terminal cancer rules every aspect of my life. But when I realize that, I ask God to help me perservere through the little things and then the big things too. Yes, the route my life has gone has caused a lot of difficulty and trials. There is no doubt about that. But, I have been given the ability to perservere through it. I can’t say that I don’t long for the day that I no longer need to ‘perservere” and can be joyful and painfree all of the time.
RickMay 30, 2010 at 9:40 pm #38579kristinParticipant
I HATE having to sleep flat on my back because of this stupid drain in my side!! Hate it, hate it!
The only proper and enjoyable way to sleep is on your TUMMY with your face smashed down into the middle of several fat fluffy feather pillows. EVERYBODY knows that. Right??
Thanks for this thread, Kris, you’re brilliant!
KristinMay 30, 2010 at 8:28 pm #3599devoncatParticipant
Perspective is not really my strong suit. I could complain about cancer all day. same with doctors, drains, and loads of big things. I can also complain all day about the small stuff, that in the scheme of things really arent that important.
I hate that xeloda makes my feet peel and I have to smother my feet in lotion and then wear socks. I hate things touching my feet and am happiest barefoot. Who wants to sleep in socks in the summer. I hate hot feet.
I hate that one of my pills partially disolves in my mouth before the water washes it done. It tastes gross.
I hate that I fart all the time.
I hate my scars. After 3 surgeries, things look wrong.
I hate the extra hair from steroids.
Do any of these things really matter? No. In the scheme of things, I have cancer and there is so much more to worry about than hot feet. But I need to complain about these for some reason. So make me feel better and add your own.
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