amylea
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Lorna,
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for everyone going through this, because I recently went through losing my mom, and I know how hard it is. We are here for you.
I am glad that Mark got his wishes. I am so glad that we have the ability to give our loved ones the comfort of home at such a crucial time.Love, Amy
Michelle,
I know that your heart is broken right now. I am so sorry. My mom passed away September 13th, and my heart still breaks more every day. Please know that we are here for you during this difficult time.
Love, Amy
My mom passed away in September, she told all of us that she wanted us to get up and speak about her
. Wow, that was one of the hardest moments that I have ever encountered. I wrote out a speech ahead of time, but when I got up there I didn’t say one word of it. I just totally went with my heart and said what came out. Now I can’t remember what I said, but it was from my heart.
Good luck to you. I am so sorry that you are having to do this.
AmyOh Kris,
I am so sorry. I like Stan feel a real connection to you and feel like I know you. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am not even going to pretend like I can feel what you are feeling. I can only imagine how your mind is going all of the time.
Please Please get something to help with your pain. Mom was a totally different person when she was in pain, her life was miserable. They key for her was to get something to deal with the pain long term, and then she had short term pain meds to help when she had breakthrough pain. Before she got the long term pain meds she was taking too much short term pain meds, and it was making her way too drowsy. Once she got the long term pain meds she didn’t have to take nearly as much breakthrough pain meds and she was much more herself.
I have dealt with death in both fashions; my dad had a sudden heart attack and was just gone, and then you know about my mom. One thing that I would always say to Mom was, “I could drive my car out onto the street and have a wreck and be gone,” I now see that wasn’t fair of me. I just didn’t want to think about the fact that she had a terminal illness and did what I thought would make us both feel better, but I shouldn’t have done that. I should have let her talk more about her feelings and the fact that she had a terminal illness. We want to be able to do that on this board, we are all here for you. I hope that I am making sense. With that being said, your fight is far from over, there are new studies and the possibilities of new cures coming up all of the time. Please continue to fight with Leroy!!!!
We love you,
AmyAlleycat,
Just checking in with you to see if you have made any decisions, or learned any new information?
My prayers are with you!!
AmyMarion, I am due on November 17th, but they will induce on November 10th… I am carrying a big boy
. Thank you for remembering !Amy
Elaine,
I am so sad to hear about Gary’s passing. I am glad that you both were able to have time with loved ones. I am also glad that you had a good experience with hospice, we did too. This is such a difficult time in your life, and we are all here for you.Amy
Alleycat,
First off, let me tell you how sorry I am that you are having to go through this. We had hospice come into our home in September to help with my mom. Hospice was the best thing that we could have ever done to help us. We got hospice set up through the hospital when she was released from the hospice. I would suggest calling the dr and asking for their recommendations about which hospice organization to use. Hospice and the dr will work together. My mom was on medicare and hospice was paid for 100%, so was her medication. Check with blue cross, but I imagine that they would do the same way. Hospice varies about how often they will come to your home depending on how much they are needed.
Hope that this helps a little, Amy
Hi Robin,
There is no doubt that you are a wonderful daughter, because you have wonderful parents. We are so glad that you have joined us. This is a great group.
Lots of love,
AmyMichelle, First off let me tell you how sorry I am that you are having to go through this. From my own experience, this was the most difficult time of my life. I am so glad that you have Hospice there to help you. What a relief it is just to have them to be able to call. Not having to worry about rushing to the hospital or exactly what to do. Like Jan said, call them anytime. I called them so often, and they were so helpful. Like Jan, I went through this experience about 5 weeks ago. My mom was able to be at home with us. She was only hospice about 2 weeks. You are doing everything exactly right. Just being there with your parents is the best medicine that you could give either one of them. I felt exactly as you do, stuck between wanting to hold on to Mom and wishing that she would just go to sleep and pass peacefully. Isn’t that an awful place to be? I never imagined that I could have those emotions. For so long while Mom was sick I prayed that she would get well, and then at the end I just prayed that God would take her peacefully, which he did. At the very end Mom started breathing really hard, so I called hospice and they told me what to give her to help her calm down and our nurse came and was with us when she passed. Do you have your “care package?” It has all of the meds that Jan was talking about, the liquid morphine and so on. Hospice will tell you when to open it and how to use it when your dad isn’t able to take oral meds anymore. Hospice is able to provide everything that he needs.
Jan, You did such a fantastic job sharing your experience with Michelle. I could have written the exact same post. We experienced all of the same symptoms with Mom. I am so sorry that you had to go through this. It is so comforting to have others to talk to who truly understand what we are feeling. I hate it that we are all in the same boat, but it is true that no one understands how we feel if they haven’t been through this.
Michelle, I am so sorry that you are going through this experience, and Jan I am sorry that you had to go through this experience. We are all here for you.
Love, Amy
Patty,
Thank you for your post. I hate it that we have had similar experiences, but it is so nice to have people who understand how I feel. Just this last week two of mom’s friends and I went to an event that hospice was holding. It was so nice to have them to talk to about Mom. They loved her also. Thankfullly none of my friends have lost their parents, so they do not understand what I am going through. I also agree with you that even though we can be surrounded by tons of people we will always feel alone without our moms. I never imagined that it would be this hard. I have lost my dad, grandma, and grandpa, and while those were all difficult, it was nothing like this.
Thank you for sharing your feelings with me.
AmyLainy and Sue, Thank you for your kind words, just what I needed.
Lainy, I am going to print out your post for Maddy so that she can cherish it when she gets bigger. Maddy and my mom were wonderful friends, just like my grandma and I were. Thank goodness for Grandmas. I was lucky enough to have my grandma until I was 28. I wish that Maddy could have had Mom until then. She doesn talk to Grandma daily. She will look up at the sky and talk to her, sooo cute!
Sue, Mom so badly wanted to meet you. She just had too many bad days to make plans to come and meet you. Maybe we could get together sometime. I would love it!!!
Thanks again to all of my friends!
AmyHi everyone,
I have been having a really rough few days. It seems like everyone that I know has moved on except for me. I am NOT ready to move on. People call and invite me for lunch or want to talk, but it is about day to day stuff, and I just don’t want to hear about it! I don’t want to sound selfish and sound like I want people’s sympathy, I just don’t want them to forget that my wonderful mom is gone. I just down right miss her. I miss her voice, I have so many questions that I need to ask her. The other day I was planting tulips, and I didn’t know which way they went… Mom was our gardener, so this is my first time
. I so badly wanted to be able to come in and ask her what to do, but I couldn’t. Also, Maddy has been sick, so I wanted Mom’s advice about what to do……The pain is just so much. She wrote us letters for us to open after she was gone, and she wrote in mine that she knew that I would miss her the most, boy was she right. I have been so emotional nearly every day this week, my poor husband. Thank goodness that Gary is a gift from God, but I know that I am still wearing him out. NOTHING can replace the love that you have from and for your mother.It is so nice to be able to come here and share my feelings with people who unfortuantly understand exactly what I am feeling.
Lots of love,
AmyHi everyone,
Such kind words you have for me. I thank you so much. You all are going to be who are going to be able to help me get through this. I am sorry that so many of us are going through this life changing event, but I am glad that we have each other.
Yesterday was Mom’s funeral, I still can’t believe that I am actually saying that!!! It was beautiful. Maddy, my 5 year old, was the first person to get up and speak about her; that child amazes me! What is so nice is that Maddy is Mom all over again! My one sister-in-law and one niece got up and spoke about Mom. I was actually able to get up and speak about her too, which I wasn’t sure about until the VERY LAST moment. Everyone else in the family wrote things which the minister read. The minister is who married my Mom and Dad in 1959. It was nice because he had some wonderful stories to tell about her. What a tribute the day was to her. The younger of my two brothers had a really hard time yesterday. Gary and I had a nice talk last night. He told me that even though he misses Mom more than he ever imagine, he was at peace with her death because he knew she was in heaven. He isn’t an overly faithful person, so it was also a great tribute to her to hear him say that. My mom loved Gary so much.
Now if we can just trudge on through the next weeks/months when things get hard. Our adrenaline is fading and life is setting in. I will need you all now more than ever.
Lots of love and hugs coming your way,
AmyHi everyone,
Thank you for your kind words. I really need them. I love all of you, and am so thankful for your love and help.
Ashlea, your words really touched my heart. My mom was wonderful, the most wonderful person that most people ever met. It is amazing how many people have been telling me that in the past few days. I have gotten e mail after e mail from her friends telling me how much they loved and cherished her. What a wonderful compliment to her. My promise to Mom is that I am going to work on being 1/2 as wonderful a person as she was
.Tomorrow is the showing and the funeral is on Thursday. How am I going to get through this? As I write that I don’t mean to sound selfish, I am just scared to death. I had no idea that I would be this sad. Mom wrote me a letter a couple of months ago. She told me that she knew that I would miss her more than anyone else, and I feel like she was right. She has only been gone for 2 days, but it feels like an eternity. I want to hear her voice just one more time. I called her cell phone today just to hear her.
I know that unfortuantly many of you have been through this before, I need your wisdom and guidance so much.
I remember thinking over the past couple of weeks that Mom has been feeling so badly that I wish God would just relieve her of her pain. For so long I prayed that God would cure her, but when I could see that wasn’t his plan I prayed for him to just help her. I know 100% that she is with him, but I wish that she was here with me!!!!!!
This is going to sound crazy, but there is something else on my mind bothering me…. on Saturday night a few hours before Mom passed I cut up a popsicle in very tiny bites because her mouth was so dry and I could tell that she was uncomfortable, well after I gave her a couple of pieces she started to cough some. Then the raspy breathing started a little later, and I immediately felt like it was my fault from giving her the popsicle. The nurse reassured me that there was NO possible way that it contributed to her not being able to breath correctly. She told me that there is very little to nothing that anyone could ever do to someone in Mom’s condition to kill her, because my first question was, “Please tell me that I didn’t kill her.” Realistically I know that isn’t the case, because on Friday the nurse told me that she was amazed that Mom had made it to Friday and wanted us to be prepared for her to pass on Friday, but it still weighs heavy on my heart.
Thank you again for being here for me. I really need you all.
Love, Amy
