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Hi tchoskins!
Ahhhh…..a fellow North Carolinian! I lost my Mom in April of this year. She was Stage IV with mets to the lungs when diagnosed. She was treated at Duke with these two drugs as well as a few others.
Don’t give up hope. Her insurance company did question the combination but quickly paid up when the Oncologist contacted them.
Give them a call. I’ve found that nagging can produce excellent results when consistently applied…..lol.
I’m glad you’ve found us. Come often and be assured you will find some of the most helpful and compassionate people on the planet here. I’m sorry you had to find us but we are glad you did.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
Pam
LoveMyMom,
My heart goes out to you and your family. I stood in your shoes in April of this year. The range of emotions you will face will stagger you. I still can’t believe my Mom is gone.
Looking back I can’t believe I was able to be so calm. These are truly precious moments you will come to treasure. It’s a time to give back some of the love your Mom has always given to you. I remember reading that hearing is one of the last senses we lose and I spent hours whispering to Mom when the end was near, telling her how much she was loved and how lucky I was to have her as my Mom. When the time came, I along with my Dad and sister told her it was ok to go and that we would be ok and would see her again some day.
Writing on this board helped me tremendously and my CC family has become as dear and as important to me as my own.
You are an amazing legacy that your Mom will leave behind. One only has to read your posts to understand this. I promise you that you will find a strength deep in you that will get you through this.
You and your family will be in my heart and prayers as you travel this journey.
My heart is breaking for you and the tears are falling as I remember my Mom while reading and writing this.We are all here for you.
Hugs and much love,
PamTom,
I forgot to mention that one of the things that my mom’s doctors recommended for mouth care was the biotene line. They make a toothpaste and mouthwash that can keep your mouth and tongue from getting sore and uncomfortable. You can purchase this at most drug stores. (We got it from KERR drugs and Walgreens. It worked well for Mom.
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
hugs,
Pam
Welcome Tom!
I’m sorry you had to find us but it’s nice to meet another North Carolinian! (or as we say down here on the coast….Nawth Cacalackey!
May I ask where you are being treated? My Mom was treated during her illness at Duke. (Greensboro is home for my family).
Do you have a port? My Mom had one and it was wonderful as she progressed through her treatments. It’s sounds as if you have wonderful doctors.
Come here often! You will meet some of the most kind, considerate and compassionate people from all over the world.
Hugs to you and your family!
Pam
Gavin,
My heart goes out to you. I was the one to set up all of the Hospice stuff and I can’t say enough about them. My dad only had to make a phone call to get questions answered or when problems arose, a nurse came to the house twice in the middle of the night. We were assigned a nurse, a social worker, an aid (who helped with bathing and shampooing hair), a doctor, numerous volunteers that would come and visit with Mom while Dad went to the grocery store or just got out by himself for a couple of hours. All of the equipment was delivered after a simple phone call. Whether it was a shower chair ( a very big help) or finally a hospital bed, the service was prompt and sooooo compassionate.
Here is the link for the Hospice we used. I know it won’t help you but it does have some wonderful links about how to start the conversation and when is the time right. Just follow them and that will give you some ideas of questions and ways to approach the conversation with your parents.
I’ve been there and I think the saddest times are when we as children have to “parent” our loving parents. I’m writing this with tears because I know how truly hard this is. You are an amazing son and a true lasting legacy of the wonderful parents you’ve been blessed to have.
I lost my Mom on April 3, 2009 and sometimes it seems as if it just happened.
Here’s the link: http://hospicegso.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=42&Itemid=58
You are in my thoughts and prayers as we enter this Thanksgiving season.
Many hugs and much, much love. You will make the right decision.
Love,
pamAmylea,
I can only reiterate what everyone here has said. My Mom died on April 3, 2009 and I still can’t believe it really happened. I miss her most on my way home from the hospital after work. That’s when I usually called her to check in. I didn’t lose my grandmothers until the ages of 95 and 94 so I really expected to have my Mom at least 20 more years.
It will get better but I’m not sure it really ever stops hurting. I still catch myself starting to dial her office number. (She was still working full time at 76 because she liked to work)
Hang in there and come here often…it really is helpful that people here REALLY understand.
Oh……and by the way…..the pointy end of the tulip bulbs go up! ..lol Just think of them pointing to where your Mom is!
Hugs..
PamHi Huffdog,
Sorry you had to find us but information is power and you will find lots of information and compassionate people here!
My Mom was prescribed a drug that was in her case a “miracle drug” for helping with her appetite. The drug was called Megace and she only took it one time a day (it’s a liquid) and the result on her appetite was amazing. Throughtout her one year battle with the disease she maintained her weight through 4 chemos. When diagnosed my Mom was 76 and was Stage IV with lung mets.
You might want to ask your physician about this drug.
Hugs to you both and please come often when you have questions….trust me there is nothing you can’t ask here!
Hugs,
PamGreat post Kris!
I hope you invested in LOTS of daffodils….my personal favorites. (plus there are sooooo many different kinds and you’ll need them all!)
You are an inspiration and Hans is a very LUCKY man! Maybe you should buy that red coat and meet him at the door wearing (just) that!…..lol (That way he may not notice the flower bulbs…..)
Hugs,
PamWell all I can say is that “apples don’t fall far from the tree!” You and your whole family are “keepers!”
One evening before my Mom died, she asked my Daddy to get an envelope for her from her dresser. We found she had pretty much planned her funeral soon after she was diagnosed. She had written the order of service, picked her hymns and scripture and told my Daddy she wanted him to sing and that one of her daugters would give her eulogy. At that point I had to leave the room and honestly wanted to vomit since I knew she meant me.
For the next few months everytime I was in the car I would try to practice what I would say. The opening line was, “I am Helen Davis’ oldest daughter”. After I would get that far I would burst into tears and draw a blank.
I knew it was something I HAD to do for my Mom but also for myself (but I really wasn’t sure I could.)
The morning of Mom’s funeral I got up at 3:30 and sat in the bathroom floor with a stack of typing paper and a pen. I said a prayer that I would make her proud and the words began to flow.
I spoke for about 20 minutes at the funeral and felt it was a picture of her battle with this monster of a disease. I wanted her friends and coworkers to know of her courage, her humor and her determined fight to see her 4th and only granddaughter get married and the birth of her second great grandchild. I wanted them to see she was a remarkable woman who had raised two wonderful daughters, had 4 grandchildren, two great-grandchildren and a loving husband she was married to for 58 years.
I wanted them to see a picture of a woman of faith, great love and compassion and humor.
I guess what I’m saying is that you will find the right words….just give yourself some quiet time and listen to your heart.
You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers…
Hugs,
Pam
Thanks to you all! One of the nurses I work with in the hospital met me at lunch carrying a slice of carrot cake. She handed me a fork and said we had to eat cake to celebrate my mom’s birthday. She said we were celebrating a life well lived and the legacy she left of a loving daughter.
She made me cry but I thought it was one of the dearest things anyone has ever done for me…..
Kris,
In the South (which WILL rise again) we have a name for women like you….we call them STEEL MAGNOLIAS. I now officially bestow upon you this moniker. Wear it with pride.
We steel Magnolias are famous for our “iron fist in the velvet glove” approach to problems and life in general.
You are now a member of a very special group of women.
Hugs to you always…you inspire me sooooo much!
Pam
Just to update…
I’ve driven to Greensboro and am sitting in the living room with my Daddy. My sister will be here tomorrow morning at 8:00 am so we can do Mom’s closet. I hope and pray I can hold it together while we do this. Daddy is looking forward to getting things done so that makes it easier for me.
It will be easier knowing you guys will be thinking and praying for me….
Hold me close in your thoughts…. It will be 6 months on October 3rd since Mom died. I’ll let you know how things end up going….
Hugs,
PamIrenea,
My Mom at 76 had both oxiliplatin and gemzar once every two weeks with a total of 6 rounds. She worked full time and the only side effect she had was cold neuropathy for about two days after treatment. Her team would give antinausea drugs before chemo and she had no nausea or any other side effects.
Her oncologist at Duke told us this combo had become the recommended treatment.
Hope you do well!
Hugs to you,
Pam
