darla

Dear Sarah,

Once again, I am so sorry for your loss. As you said, John will always be guiding you. He will be with you forever in your heart and memories. He is in a better place, no longer suffering or in pain. Know that we are all here for you now as you travel this painful journey of grieving. So many of us here know & understand what you are feeling and going through and the help and support we give to each other is what has given us the strength to go on. One day at a time. Stay in touch and take care.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Dear Ron,

I agree with the others and thank you for the encouraging post. I am sure that most of us, all having been touched by this horrible disease in one way or another, patients, caregivers and those of us who have lost a loved one have many sleeplisness nights and your post “No matter how bad you may be feeling just now, things can improve, so look forward to the better days.” is just the boost I too needed when I came on here this morning.

Here’s hoping for better days for you and everyone of us.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Thank God for Hans. What a sweetheart! I hope that gave you an emotional boost and that you are now feeling better. I know you will go back & do just fine. You are dealing with so much and you have been so strong. Your break down was well deserved. Now you can pick youself up, dust yourself off & carry on. You have Hans and all of us here behind you to give you all the strength, hope and support you want & need. Go back to class with your head held high. No one cares what the others think. We all know & understand and if they don’t or can’t that is their problem, not yours. Take care Kris. We all love you and want you hanging out here for a real long time.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Dear Sandy,

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, it does seem like a nightmare and all you want to do is wake up and have life be like it was before all of this. My experience was much the same as yours & the others here. My husband was health and only showed signs of any symptoms 7 weeks before he died. He wasn’t definitively diagnosised with CC until 1 week before he passed on. It has been over a year & I still wonder how this happened and have many unanswered questions. You are not alone and we all understand what you are feeling & going through. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers as you go through this sad and confusing time. Remember that your brother will always be with you in your heart & memories. We all hope & pray for more awareness for this horrible type of cancer and for one day to find a cure.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Hi All,

Well, I too do not sleep well & haven’t since this all began. It’s on & off. I will try to read, watch TV or turn the radio on, then I fall asleep for a while again. I am usually up way too early every day and now that it gets dark out earlier, I feel like I should go to bed as I am exhausted, but I try to stay up so I can sleep better, but nothing really seems to work. Being somewhat older than the two of you, mine isn’t related to menopause as I am way beyond that, but I do also get night sweats, so who knows!

As for dreams, yours sounded lovely Pauline. I have had some dreams of Jim and they seem as if he is here & everything is the way it was although even in the dreams I know that is not true. They do seem sort of convoluted and disjointed tho’, making no real sense. Atleast I now can remember some of them and it is somewhat comforting in a strange & different sort of way.

Pauline, I am glad that the extra work is keeping you going. Sometimes we really do need to just keep busy, don’t we? And there’s nothing wrong with watching the “rubbish” on TV sometimes, either!

Sue, it sounds like your holiday with Mum was enjoyable. It is great you are able to spend time with her like that. I did take a short time off, just over night & two days with my son & daughter-in-law. It was enjoyable & good to get away, but I still was glad to be back here in my “comfort zone”. So often I would think how the last time we did this or that, Jim was with us. It’s a start and hopefully next time I can go a little longer and eventually get used to going places & doing things alone. I too will be thinking about you and Joyce as you go through the next few weeks and hoping that you will be OK. It’s not easy, but it will be OK. Know we are here for you.

Pauline, I don’t know how strong I really am. I guess I put on a good front and look & sound like I am dealing with everything and doing OK, but deep inside I’m still a mess! I just keep plodding along and it does help when I don’t project too far into the future and take things as they come, one day at a time. It really does work.

My daughter-in-law is setting up at a market today, so I am off to spend some time with her and then we will meet my son for dinner. I am using a courtesy car that I am not used to driving, so this should prove to be an interesting day!

Everyone take care & keep in touch.

Love & Hugs,
Darla

Mel & Kris,

I say go for it! My son is a tattoo artist and I had always said I would get one when I turned 50. Didn’t happen. Then Jim passed away & my son also is having some health problems, so at the age of 60 I felt it was time and finally got my tattoo. Mine is a heart with wings & a tiny tear drop on my left shoulder. The meaning behind it is that although I am sad that he is gone, my husband will be with me forever in my heart and he is the angel on my shoulder looking out for and protecting me. I am glad I did it and am even considering getting another. I think both the yellow ribbon and the ladybug are great ideas.

Darla

Hi Everyone,

I hope things are going OK for everyone this weekend.

Pauline, I still do not sleep well either. No matter how early I get up or late I go to bed, what I have done that day, how exhausted I am, I still do not get a good nights sleep. I guess it will just take time. We seem to still be adjusting to what has all happened and the major changes it has made in our lives. I’m glad that you are doing a bit better now and that the extra work seems to help you keep focused.

Janet, Have you recovered from the dust storms? How are things going for Alastair?

My latest challange was hitting a large deer this week and now being without a vehicle until it gets repaired. It seems to be just one thing after another and it is all so much harder to deal with alone. In the past I would have called Jim and asked him what to do, now I have to figure it all out myself. Oh well, losing our husbands was the absolute worst thing that could happen, so all of the rest doesn’t seem so bad. I think I would gladly deal with all the other frustrations in life if only I could have Jim here to share them with me. This being strong and learning to cope with everything life throws at you is highly over rated!!!!!!! I’m beginning to ramble on here, so enough of that.

Well, atleast we all seem to be getting a bit of decent weather for a change. Most of us are going into another winter and I am not looking forward to the short days, long nights, cold & snow! We all made it through last year, so hopefully this one will be a little easier to handle. Janet, I will just think of you in Australia as you will be back to the summer months and swimming in the Austinmer pools.

Joyce, I hope things are going OK for you too. As Janet said, it is interesting learning about the places others live. I too have done some searching and am learning a lot.

Everyone take care and have a nice week.

Love & Hugs To All,
Darla

Hi Everyone,

Janet, I hope everything went OK for you with your appointment. I went through that earlier this year. Filing jointly with one as deceased was daunting to say the least. This coming year will be even stranger & harder as we will now be filing as single persons, no longer a couple. And on & on it goes, but we will some how get through all of this too.

Sue, It was good to hear from you. It does sound like you have been keeping yourself busy. I know these next weeks are going to be hard for both you and Joyce. I think spending the night with Sam sounds like a good plan. It sounds like your Mum is doing well and I hope you two have a great time in Spain together. Can’t wait to hear all about it.

Pauline, I too hope the extra work is helping you out, but not wearing you out. I guess we need to try to balance it all out somehow and make it work for us.

Cyndi, How are you doing? I hope things are going along as good as possible for you.

So, everyone take care and keep in touch.

Love & Hugs,
Darla