okansas

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 72 total)
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  • in reply to: The funeral #86510
    okansas
    Participant

    Hi Duke and Lainy,

    Glad you understand what I mean. yes I must remember that people do mean well.

    You are right Duke. I would have thought it was crazy too til I saw it for myself. Kind of like trying to explain the sensation of color tv to someone who knows only radio.

    But I had to get to a certain place with grief, where it was like a pair of familiar pajamas instead of a barrier, to really open up to this.

    So true Lainy when you say they can’t heal us but do immerse us in comfort. I know John also tries to give me guidance I ask for but I’ve told him he really needs to make it a little more obvious for me sometimes!

    Margaret

    in reply to: The funeral #86507
    okansas
    Participant

    Thanks Lainy. You’re sweet.

    yes, I feel my hubby’s comforting presence also when I’m having a tough time. I’m glad you could feel Teddy with you for the tooth ordeal.

    I tried to explain this to someone recently and they said “what a great attitude.”

    I left it at that — figured it wouldn’t make sense to explain it’s not an attitude, but rather a broader comprehension of reality!

    in reply to: The funeral #86505
    okansas
    Participant

    Hi Sammi,

    I can understand your feelings. I have to say my husband’s funeral felt so wrong — why were we having this service/reception when he wasn’t even there to be part of it? It was an out-of-body experience for me.

    I too felt like my husband was gone and the world seemed so foreign and wrong to me without him.

    It wasn’t until I’d gotten more accustomed to my sadness and my grief, that those feelings began to morph into something else — I began to “feel” my husband’s presence with me always.

    Lainy has said it very well.

    I’m sorry.

    Margaret

    in reply to: A bit about me #86516
    okansas
    Participant

    Hi,
    Just want to say thank you for relating the history of your cc. I’m so glad you were able to have the surgery and that it was successful.

    So sorry that you’re having to face the crazy comments that people make, and unfortunately there will most certainly be more. Hopefully having the friendship of your extended family here on the forum will help you get through that.

    The beauty of this place is you can always keep it real, there”s no need to sugarcoat your feelings and you can be frank about what you’re going through. All of us have experienced to some degree or in some fashion what you’re going through, so we won’t be surprised or shattered.

    So sorry that you have this cancer, but so glad that you’ve made your way here.

    Margaret

    in reply to: New to the site #86485
    okansas
    Participant

    Helen,
    I’m sorry you are going through this and that you even have to deal with this.

    What a relief to see that you’ve made it over here and posted to the forum — so many wonderful people here with information to share, and support and caring to give.

    Stay strong and absorb all the helpful information here that you can. ~ This is a very caring family.

    Margaret

    in reply to: Coming to the end :-( #86066
    okansas
    Participant

    Hi Sammie, my hubby faded from my life very quickly — only two months from a hearty 58 to diagnosed and going through what your father is now experiencing.
    I was in shock and I think he was also initially. We didn’t talk about his dying; I felt I would betray him to admit defeat. I wish now that we had. I think there came a point where he had faced it, but probably felt I couldn’t face it. My husband was always an optimist.
    At any rate, he came home and died at home, and today I cherish the room. It’s like a door opening into heaven for me.
    To each their own though. Everyone must look at their own preferences and choose what is best for them and their family. Follow your heart.
    I’m sorry for the pain you are going through.
    Margaret

    in reply to: Nine Years ! #84960
    okansas
    Participant

    Pat, thank you for taking the time to share how you learned your diagnosis and how your treatment progressed. It’s wonderful that you’ve overcome so many challenges, both physically and mentally, as you point out. I applaud your courage and pray you remain cc-free. Thank you again for generously sharing with us. Margaret

    in reply to: Messages from the other side? #86143
    okansas
    Participant

    Love Teddy’s sense of humor in sending a text. Makes perfect sense he’d choose a funny and highly unlikely way to say hi!
    So sorry Lainy that you are missing him so much right now. Yes a good cry is sometimes the only answer. You are much more experienced than me on this score, but I do believe the dark hours come right before the dawn. Be looking for some brighter than usual rays of sunshine. I know you know that Teddy won’t let you down, so he must have something in store for you that is very special. I just don’t doubt that.
    Margaret

    in reply to: First holidays without Frank. #86026
    okansas
    Participant

    Oh geeze. Just the laugh I needed tonight!

    in reply to: Messages from the other side? #86140
    okansas
    Participant

    Yes you did send me the list Lainy. I love the text msg.! Was Teddy a techie? I find John surprises me with humor. Which was just like him. Unpredictable and full of surprises in a good way.

    in reply to: Nine Years ! #84958
    okansas
    Participant

    Pat,
    There are many of us not familiar with your journey from diagnosis. In a nutshell, would you mind telling us how you discovered your cc, what stage it was, the treatment you had? If that’s too much to explain, just please accept my hearty hooray for you reaching this wonderful milestone. We all look forward to the day when everyone can beat this cancer the way you have.
    Margaret

    in reply to: No chemo today #86099
    okansas
    Participant

    Duke, I’m Saying prayers for better numbers next week. Your cheerleading team is much larger than you imagine — you have many many of us on this forum who quietly care about you and the others fighting cc.
    Margaret

    in reply to: First holidays without Frank. #86023
    okansas
    Participant

    I hope those men realize how lucky they are to have such a gem on their site Lainy. With Teddy and the Good Lord looking out for you, you are in good hands.
    Margaret

    in reply to: First holidays without Frank. #86021
    okansas
    Participant

    What a wonderful revelation for you from that experience. I am taking your wise words to heart Lainy. Thank you for your encouragement!
    Margaret

    in reply to: First holidays without Frank. #86019
    okansas
    Participant

    To all you dear ladies,
    Nancy I am so sorry for what you are enduring. And you also Shellina. Wonderful that you carried through with your lobster and crab tradition!

    It is so tough making it through the holdays. I just made it through my second round of holidays since my husband died in October 2013 from cc.
    It has been such a different experience from the first. Sad, yes. But I realize now how much shock I must have been in because I don’t even remember getting through it last year. Don’t know if it has been that way for you also.
    My 13-year old really brought it home for me when she told me she really liked Christmas so much better this year because last year I just drove the kids to the stores and had them pick out their own presents. I don’t even recall doing that!

    I send up prayers for you and all others here for healing and comfort.

    Haven’t checked in for awhile, but just want to say to Lainey that your poems continue to bring comfort and inspiration for me. They are always right on the mark and so beautiful, so I always enjoy them, and appreciate your wisdom. Praying you’ll get some relief from your health issues. (Have to mention too that my John contacts me by leaving feathers for me. They always show up when I’m most in need!)

    Wishing warmth for you Darla up there in The frozen north!

    I hope for Nancy and Shellina much comfort. God bless!
    Margaret

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 72 total)