cherbourg
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Oh Lainy,
I just logged on here at work and am sitting at my microscope crying. Tears of saddness for you and your family, tears of joy that Teddy’s long battle and pain is finally over.
I’m so glad you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and those amazing pictures to remember him.
You have truly been there every step of the way for Teddy. Thank you so much for sharing this remarkable man with all of us.
I’m sending hugs, prayers for strength and lots of love to you and your family.
I’m sure my Mom and all of the other CC warriors were there to welcome Teddy home.
Hugs,
PamLainy,
I hope for Teddy sake you wrote down the directions for inserting the movie! He is such a wonderful, special man.
I’m sure he will be well taken care of and that this move will enable the two of you to just be a couple again and not patient and caregiver.
These are truly precious moments and I am humbled that you are sharing this amazing man with all of us.
I’m sending love, hugs and prayers of strength to you and Teddy.
Much love,
PamLainey,
I’m holding you and Teddy close in my heart and prayers. Remember when you feel down, that you and Teddy discussed the move to the Hospice facility.
You’ve always done what’s right for Teddy and you will continue. These coming days are the most stressful but the most precious.
Sending love and hugs to you both.
Pam
Beth,
I know the feeling of wanting to smash someone with a chair. I actually had my friend tell me about a month after Mom died that I really needed to get over her death since all of the grieving in the world wouldn’t bring her back! As if I hadn’t already thought that one through! Duh!
People who haven’t gone through this can be sooo insensitive!
I’m still grieving and working through the process. I’ve learned a lot and over time, it does become easier to accept my new “normal”. I would give anything to have just one more hour with my Mom! I’m at the stage where I mostly remember the good things and some of the bad days are growing less memorable. I still hear things from people that make me cringe. I credit my southern upbringing and fear of prison for helping me more or less present a “normal” face to the public most of the time. (*grin*)
Grieving is a process with no timetable and it’s intensely personal. No one will ever grieve in the same way as you. You have to work through the process in your own time and way. We are all here for each other and at times that has made so much difference in my life. I know there are people here who understand and will and can support me.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending hugs!
Pam
Dear DD,
I lost my Mom on April 3, 2009 and believe me I know what you are going through. I’m so sorry but I am glad that your Mom is no longer in pain.
Please try and take good care of yourself in the coming weeks. You are such an amazing daughter and walked every step of your Mom’s journey with CC with her. You are and will continue to be the best legacy your Mom leaves behind.
You will find grieving the hardest job you will ever do but we are all here for you anytime.
I’m sending love and hugs to you and your family,
Pam
Ah Lainy,
What a comforting thought that all of our loved ones will meet. My Mom loved to travel because she loved meeting new people….I like to think of her being welcomed and welcoming those who come after her….
Hugs,
PamLainy,
Mom used the fentanyl patches at the end of her illness and they were great.
I assist with bone marrow procedures here in the hospital and we use a combination of fenanyl and versed during the procedure. The fentanyl works great!
Mom was kept very comfortable using the patch. I hope it works as well for Teddy.
Stay strong!
Hugs to you both!
PamLainy,
I have nothing to say except I know how it feels. I’m so glad you are being proactive on all fronts and am sending you lots of hugs and prayers. Teddy is so lucky to have you in his heart and life.
We are always here when you need us!
Hugs,
PamI should of been clearer in what I meant. My “take care of the caregiver first” means JUST the basics. You have to eat well, sleep whenever you can, let things that aren’t necessary go and guard your own health so you can give 150% to the one you are taking of.
To me by following the “basics” you have more time for making memories and more quality time with your loved one. To me a caregiver that denies themselves the BASICS is not physically, mentally or emotionally equipped to care for the long haul.
Same as with being a Mom.
I actually got this from my Mom as her illness progressed. She would fret if she felt my sister and I were “running ragged” . She was constantly telling us to not try to do everything. She told us to pick our battles. She would watch us like a hawk. Believe me if we weren’t getting enough sleep we would hear about it from her first.
I let soooo many things go when my Mom was sick. I didn’t care if my house was clean or if there were dishes in my sink…I put my efforts into making my Mom’s last months the best they could be. I figured if someone came to my house and had any issues…I’d show them the vacuum, the dust rags and let them clean to their hearts’ content. I figured I would rather have Mom’s home spotless and spend time with her, than try and do everything halfway.
Same as when my kids were little. I decided they would remember the times we made soap bubbles in the sink more than whether or not they could eat off my kitchen floor.
I believe anyone that takes the role of caregiver is more blest than they will ever know. I know in my life it had a tremendous impact on me. I think I’m more patient and more empathetic than I was before. I look more to the things that are truly important like selfless love and family and my faith is deeper and richer than before.
As I said before I would give a million dollars for one more hour with my Mom.
Hugs to all of us on this journey!
Pam
You remind me every day that God answers prayers! I’m so happy to hear you may be floating in the pool soon! All of us Carolina girls need to be near the water!!!
Hugs to you, Hans and the kitties!
Pam
I say go. If there is any hope or offer of hope and your dad is willing…then go.
I’m praying for you both!
Hugs,
PamI have to weigh in on this one. It’s not JUST a visit from the grandchild….I think it’s THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ONE MORE PERSON’S SAFETY AND WELFARE!!!!!…..
What happens if there is an emergency with Tom and Margaret has to leave quickly in the the dead of night? I have to say it seems irresponsible of his parent to not only add to an already stressful situation but not to try and understand the situation.
I’m all for visits and making memories but a caregiver should only have one focus and one primary responsibility! If the 9 year old wants to spend the weekend he should bring a parent with him. Then maybe they would get an inkling of just how hard being a caregiver can be.
Don’t get me wrong, I would give a million dollars for the worst day of caregiving just to be with my Mom one more time. I miss her so much and still ache to have my Mom back with me.
I guess it comes down to what I consider the most important rule for caregivers…..and that is to take CARE OF THE CAREGIVER FIRST!!!!
Hugs to all!
Pam
Hi Tom,
I’m so sorry you had to find us but we are glad you did. If you scroll down on the “main ” screen you will find a bullentin board called alternative treatments. You can also enter that phrase in the the search box at the top of the page.
I’m sure others will chime in soon with added help.
Come often and ask anything you can think of.
I’m sending hugs and prayers to you and your young family!
Hugs,
Pam
