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Dear Rob,

What an amazing love story I am following between you and your beloved Sue. These days will be so precious for you. I am glad you’ve gotten Hospice involved. It helped my Mom when I told Hospice was about LIVING with cancer not dying from cancer. Hopefully it will give you the gift of time with Sue. It was so nice that we could hand off the daily tasks of cancer and spend those hours with my Mom knowing she was comfortable and that we had an inhome support system. You and Sue sound as if you’ve raised an amazing daughter as well.
One of the things I miss most is hearing my Mom’s voice. I wish I had had her record one of the new story books I see at Hallmark. That might make a wonderful memory for your daughter if Sue is up to doing it.
Stay strong and remember to take care of the caregivers…
We are all here for you….
Hugs,
Pam

Thanks Terri!

Give your sister a big hug from all of us! Have a wonderful holiday and thanks for the update on Suzanne!

Hugs!
Pam

Becky,

Your Mom has raised an amazing daughter. You will find a deep strength in yourself for these coming, precious days. We are all here for you.

My Mom spoke to people that had passed. One of her dearest friends died about 2 months before my Mom. She told me of several conversations she had had with “Boots” (her friend’s nickname). When I gently tried to tell her that Boots had passed, she looked at me as if I had lost my mind and said of course she knew that! Boots was in heaven and was coming to meet Mom so she could show her all of the wonderful things there. One of my dearest memories is sitting with Mom and having her suddenly laugh, look past my shoulder and tell her friend Boots, that she was hurrying as fast as she could and to quit rushing her.

I’m sending hugs and prayers…
Pam

Crystal,

I lost my Mom on April 3, 2009 so I am coming up on the three year anniversary of her death. I still think of her every day but gradually the good memories are starting to be the ones I remember first.

This next stage of your journey may be the hardest yet. Grieving has no timetable and no two people will grieve in the same way. I mistakenly thought that the “anticipatory grief” I felt as Mom progressed through her illness would somehow prepare me for her actual death. It didn’t. As first I was more or less numb, holding everything together….making funeral arrangements, writing numerous thank you notes….I even gave my Mom’s eulogy and my Dad sang at her funeral. Then about two months after her death if was as if the ceiling fell in on me. I HAD LOST MY MOM!!! I felt that the world should stop and acknowledge my pain! Unfortunately most of the rest of the world had “moved” on by that time and I felt very alone. I found that grieving is very hard work but a work that must be dealt with and confronted. I’m now at the point where I feel as though I’ve “come out the other side of the tunnel”. My memories are still vivid but the happier ones seem to come to mind first. I can still be reduced to tears pasing someone wearing my Mom’s perfume in a store but each day is a little easier.

My Mom was an amazing woman and I am her legacy.

You will get through this next stage in your life. You are your Mom’s legacy and I feel sure you will be a shining example of all she taught you with your child.

The hardest part of the first year are all of the “firsts”. Each will be painful but there will be rememberences of joy, love and laughter.

Come here often. We are all here for you!

Hugs!
Pam

Tom,

So sorry to hear this news. This is one of those times when you follow the 5 minute rule…..do 5 minutes, breathe, then do the next 5 minutes!

I’m sending hugs and prayers your way. I remind you to also remember to take care of the caregiver…(that would be you!)

Please know we are always here for the both of you!

Hugs,
Pam

Oh Trish,

So sorry your Mom is going through all of this. I’m sending prayers for healing and for strength. I know how difficult this rollercoaster ride is for you and your Mom. Please take time to take care of the caregiver (YOU!).

You are in my thoughts and prayers….

Pam

Dear Roni,

I wish I could reach out and hug you. I stood in your shoes with my Mom before she died in April 2009. Everything you are feeling is normal….whatever that is….

I’m including a link for the hospice AND PALLIATIVE CARE unit we used in Greensboro with my Mom. The link has some excellent information including a section on when to consider Hospice.

http://www.hospicegso.org/

Please know you are not alone and that we are here for you anytime. The only dumb questions are the ones unasked….*grin*

One thing I will leave you with is a suggestion to get your Mom’s voice on tape. I miss hearing my Mom’s voice more than anything.

Remember…you are not alone…

Hugs,
Pam