daddysgirl-2
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Thinking of you, Darla, and the loss of your Jim. Hoping you find peace in your many memories. Did you do anything special for the day?
Peace,
JoleneMy sincerest condolences for the loss of your mother. Wishing you God’s peace for the days ahead. May you find comfort in a job well done, and joy in your loving memories.
Take care of yourself,
JoleneHi April, and welcome. May you and your mother find comfort, advice, friendship and peace here. You will surely find unconditional love.
Jolene
My dad was diabetic, took Zocor for cholesterol, had gout in hands, elbows, knees and feet, had angina.
He was career Air Force-(spent time in Asian countries: Korea, VietNam, Thailand, as well as Europe).
He grew up on the Monangahela River (PA). His father was a coal miner, so dad spent time around that type of environment until he graduated high school.
Used sacharin tablets early on to sweeten his coffee switching to SweetnLow 10 or so years ago. He was an athlete (baseball/softball). Drank when he was single and early in his marriage, only once in a while the last 45 years of his marriage. Smoked Lucky Strikes; he quit 27 years before he died. Drank diet pepsi like it was his responsibility to keep them in business. Loved drinking Tang.Dad was dx diabetic about 8 years before he died, the gout came about 3 years before he died. Otherwise, he really was very active and healthy. His mind was sharp even to the day he died.
Jolene
Katie,
I wish I had the ability to take away your pain, but the truth is, to this day I am haunted by the questions, frustration and, frankly, the anger. I truly do emphathize with you. Just yesterday, I had such a dark afternoon missing him so immensely and frustrated because I still want and need answers. I am constantly second-guessing every decision that I made on dad’s behalf. I worry that I will make some judgement error for my mom or brother (Mom has advanced Parkinson’s Disease and my brother has Cerebral Palsy-I am caregiver for mom, and guardian of my brother)
I think because the majority of us have lost our loved ones so quickly after diagnosis, that we barely had time to wrap our minds around this horrible word-cholangiocarcinoma, prepare our questions, find sympathetic medical care, prepare for the worst and so on. After the whirlwind is over we are left with such mind-blowing grief and horror, it takes all we have to just simply…breathe. I was guilt-ridden because I could breathe, my life-loving father no longer breathed.
I was my dad’s caregiver for 4 years. He did have diabetes so I managed his homecare and went to his medical appointments, etc. We had no indication that he had CC. (That is one of my many unanswered questions: he had quarterly lab tests, quarterly x-rays of kidneys and liver, etc…why didn’t anything show up?) Dad was diagnosed 6 months before he died. And believe it or not, we had to fight to get that diagnosis. We had such a horrific time prior to obtaining information…and my dad had great healthcare coverage! Just uncooperative medical opportunities. I won’t go into the struggle my family went through…I’ve mentioned it before on this wonderfully supportive panel, and on my dad’s caringbridge website.
If I could ever offer any advice, it would be this: keep returning to this website, this life-saving panel. I come here when the unanswered questions surface, and I get what I need from the others. I need to hear from Lainy, Marion, Kris, Darla, Patty…everyone on this panel-to keep me focused, grounded, breathing. Only these wonderful people in this ‘club no one wants to join’ can truly understand each other.
Oh, Katie…I hope that you are able to find your answers. Your father must have been such a wonderful man for you to grieve so. The more passionate the love, the deeper the grief. My dad told us everyday that he loved us…sometimes several times a day…it didn’t matter that we are adults, he made sure we heard it.
I believe that your dad is with you, watching over all of you- proudly and lovingly. Preparing to greet you when your earthly journey is complete. Until that time, take care of your husband, your children and your mother as your dad expects you to. But mostly, love yourself as he loves you, be happy as he wants you to be…and sometimes, give yourself the hug that he would give you.
Please let me know how you are doing. And feel free to e-mail me if you choose to. I would like to know how your mom is doing. I’m sure it is difficult for you with her being so far away. I can tell that you are such a loving daughter. How lucky your children and husband are to have you in their lives. Such character is obviously a gift from your loving dad.
Peace to you and yours, and many hugs from Northern Minnesota!!!
JoleneIf you think of it: could you send along a prayer? My dad’s birthday is this weekend, and I’m missing his craziness! Dad felt that our birthdays were equivalent to national holidays. Very big in his eyes. For his birthday, he would send out daily e-mail announcements to each of us beginning 2 weeks before the event as reminders. White cake with white frosting. Shrimp at the restuarant…and, (gasp) POLKA MUSIC!!!
Just to join in…the bracelets came in handy at our Relay For Life walkathon last month. I passed them out to everyone I could. I also put the website address on all the luminaries that we purchased and asked friends, relatives etc. to do the same. Didn’t know there was a new bracelet design…need to replenish my stock!!!
Sue, have a great time at Disney. I just returned from there. I had promised my 6 yr old niece I would bring her for her birthday. Such fun to see the ‘magic’ through the eyes of a little one. When she saw Cinderella during the parade, the look of wonder on her face made me start to cry. Such innocence. My dad was a huge Mickey Mouse fan. I’ll never forget when dad met Mickey for the first time. He nearly burst with excitement waiting in line…and he was 68 years old!!! Guess its true…Disney is ageless.
Enjoy your vacation and happy anniversary!!
JoleneI am so very sorry for your loss. Our dads live forever in our hearts, and as old as we become, we never stop being a ‘daddy’s girl’. I pray that you will find some comfort in each other, and peace in your loving memories. Until you are able to smile again, we travel this journey with you.
I lost my beloved ‘daddy’ a year ago. I miss him deeply each day, but I see him in my brother’s smile, my nephew’s pranks, and another brother’s eyes.
Our legend is gone, but his legacy lives on.As you hold each other in mourning, may God wrap you all in his peace.
Jolene
Suzanne, such disappointing news. I am so sorry. Sending you hugs and prayers for your strength.
Kris, I’m always uplifted when I read your posts.
You are amazing, courageous women-Suzanne, Kris, Jamie, Lisa, Louise. And all persons afflicted with CC. Thank you for sharing your joys and sorrows as you battle this evil disease. It is truly an honor to hold you up when you are feeling down.
Minnesota hugs,
JoleneDeb, sincerest sympathies for the loss of your dad. You did a wonderful job in caring for him. A dad could ask for no better than to have such a loving daughter care for him and help him prepare for his passing from his earthly life to his eternal life. Such love and devotion. I hope you find joy and comfort in a job well done.
Peace be with you,
JoleneNathalie, I’m not sure when you’ll be leaving for the MAYO for your biopsy on Monday…but wanted to make sure I sent you lots of good thoughts, wishes, and prayers. Keep in touch and safe travels.
Jolene
Nancy, I am glad that you had time with your mom at the end. One couldn’t ask for a more personal, valuable time. I am very sorry for your loss.
Peace and hugs,
Jolene
