darla
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Hi Cindy,
I really don’t have any more to add to all the good advice you have gotten but I am glad you found this site. You will be happy you did. Well, maybe not happy, but relieved. It is all so very overwhelming and all the good, knowledgable people here can help sort it out. Just as another weird coincidence, I have a sister named Cindy Lou and my name is Darla, close to the same as Darlene.
Hans,
It is comforting hearing from you about your plans for Kris and your thoughts and feelings. I love that picture of Kris, too and think it is a great choice. Just remember when you get back and start dealing with your “new normal”, and yes life will seem empty, we will all be here to help you get by.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi Pam,
Thanks for posting this. Everything I read there is so true and is exactly how I feel. Makes me feel better knowing that my grief and feelings are normal, for me. Great website.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Minkyz,
I agree with everyone else. What a great attitude. Thanks for posting this and sharing your thoughts and feelings with us.
Darla
I must agree with the rest. It is beautiful and I had never seen it before either. Thanks for posting it. Darla
Interesting article Marion. Before we knew what was wrong with Jim I actually remarked about all the testing that was being done (he had them all several times and then some) and that I was afraid it could cause cancer. Little did we know he already had one of the worst types of cancer known! Still have to wonder if all of that advanced things more quickly.
DarlaSusan, I know what you mean. I can’t tell you how often I have felt like that. Yes, the pain is still there, but not as sharp. I think you are right. It becomes more of a dull ache. Now I don’t fall apart, but just say I’m doing OK. Even when I’m not. Darla
Dear sister of Willie,
I somehow missed this when you orginally posted, but just want you to know that I too truely understand what you are going through. I hope that the counseling and group therapy are helpful to you. My heart still aches too, for me, you and everyone else that has lost a loved one to this disease and also those that are dealing with it now or have been touched by CC in one way or another.
Take care of yourself now and try to take comfort in knowing that Willie is no longer in pain or suffering and that she will always be with you in your heart and memories.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaI too agree with everything that Pam has said. It is hard when everyone else just goes on with their lives and you are left feeling alone, and helpless. You don’t “just get over it”! I guess for those who haven’t been there they will never understand. Keep coming back here as we do understand. It isn’t easy and sometimes you may even have to take things moment by moment, but you will be OK. Your life will never be as it was before, but you will get by.
I like Nancy’s suggestion to visualize a stop sign. I will have to try that.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaDear Codergirl,
I agree with all of the above and would like to add that when my husband passed away, it took me about a week and a half of procrastinanting before I was able to go back to a somewhat regular routine. At that point I just decided I could do one of two things. Continue on doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself or push myself and try to regain some semblance of a “normal” life. The longer I put it off the harder it would be to do. I kept repeating the phrase to “act as if”. I still take things one day at a time and some days are still harder than others. I don’t think these feelings every really go away, but we learn how to live with them and try to go on. The key is to keep busy and try to find a way to fill the hugh void that has been left. It isn’t easy, but it does happen. Take the time you need to grieve and begin to heal and know that we are all here to help and support you. In time you will find you are stronger than you ever thought you could be.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaNancy,
My husband served on an aircraft carrier off Viet Nam in the late 60’s. He did spend time on land in several of the Asian countries. It had been suggested that he injested liver flukes while there which damage the lining of the bile ducts and can cause the CC to develop. Often not presenting as a problem until 30 or 40 years later as it can be very slow growing and undiagnosised until near the end when it is already too late. He passed away at the age of 62. He had no other know causes for CC, but most of the doctors will not recognize this. So yes, it is a possibility although as Lainy said, we may never know for sure as it is very hard to prove. My husband was also very active and health until about 2 months before he passed away. It is very prevelant in those countries and very rare here.
I am glad you were able to have a great family Christmas. Please let us know how things are going. I will be hoping for the best for Doug and your family.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaLuckyladybird,
As Kris’s sister, you know personally what a great and stong person she was. You are so right, there are so many that loved & cared about her and will miss her, too. I agree, she was so very lucky to have Hans in her life. As lucky as he was to have her in his. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love & Hugs To All Of You,
DarlaCyndi,
I am so sorry to hear that Linda has passed. My sympathy to all of her family and loved ones. We are losing so many lately on this board. It is a sad time. As others have said, atleast now she is no longer in pain or suffering. She has moved on to a better place. Try to take some comfort in knowing that Linda will always be with you all in your heart and memories.
Love & Hugs To All,
DarlaOh Hans,
I just came on and saw this. And once again I must thank you for posting these wonderful things. It has made me smile. I think this must have been posted before I joined the board in September ’08. It is typical Kris and I can picture her now doing just that. I think you are right. God got bored.
As for reading her posts now, I think she would be just fine with that and I am sure it will be of much comfort to you right now.
I am sure Joyce is right and she is rocking everyone’s world in heaven now. What a great thought.
Love & Hugs,
Darla
