missing-u

Charlene, it is with great sadness that I read your post. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear father. I am an only child myself and although I’ll be 41 soon, I always thought my Dad would live forever. He does so in my heart, but I so wish that he were still with us experiencing life. It was one year on January 13th that he passed into spirit.

I wish you peace of heart and spirit during this difficult time and hope that you will draw comfort in your kind support of your father during his journey.

Missing U

Cathy,

My heart goes out to you and your family during this difficult time. I lost my Dear Dad one year on January 13th and I draw comfort in having been by his side during his illness, even though there was not much we could do other than be with him. I hope that in time you will be able to draw support from being with your husband and from the love you clearly shared.

Prayers for peace of heart and spirit,
Missing U

Charlene, I am so sorry to hear of George’s passing. I understand how you feel you would have liked to say goodbye. I pray that one day you will find comfort in the special relationship that you and he had, where in reality there were never any goodbyes.

Prayers to you,
MIssing U

Richard, I was glad to hear things are starting to look up. You know, every little blessing is monumental in scope when it comes to this disease. I always believed, and still do, that so long as a heart is beating, there is hope.

My prayers continue for your dad, your mom and for you… I know full well the toll this disease takes on the caregivers as well. My mom and I are still recovering, but it is a small price to pay for the priveledge of supporting my Dad on his very difficult journey.

Blessings,

MIssing U

Jeff,

I have read enough of your posts to know that you had a special Thanksgiving. Although I lost my Dear Dad within two months of diagnosis, I still hold out hope for others. For his sake, I hope that others who are battling this illness will conquer it. My prayers are with you for the best possible outcome. I pray that the angels who have accompanied you thus far remain your constant companions in continuing to protect you.

Brightest Blessings to you and your family,

Missing U

Rae, I’m so sorry to hear of your father’s passing. That day marked the one year diagnosis of my Dad’s illness and he died within two months of diagnosis, almost 11 months ago. I share your grief and I send you and your family prayers to help you get through this very difficult time.

My thoughts are with you,
Missing U

Ted,

I am so sorry for your dear Patty’s passing into spirit. It has been almost 11 months since I lost my precious Dad and the one thing that has pulled me out of darkness is my belief that he is waiting for me one day and I try to live my life in such a way that he would be proud. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. I know that you will be able to draw much comfort from the love you and Patty shared.

Peace and Brightest Blessings,
Missing U

Hi Lisa,

Catching up on the board and it feels like yesterday, reading your posts. It was these days last year that my Dad was diagnosed. A few days before, I found out by an accidental (and inappropriate) admission from a receptionist at his primary physician’s office. I will never forget that moment, it was like a knife entering my heart and it felt that all the light had instantly disappeared from my life. But, things were not conclusive, and as we had to wait for more tests to confirm, I didn’t say anything to my Dad at that time… giving him his last weekend living in the land of innocence which he would soon depart from.

I’m glad that hospice is now a part of your dad’s care team- glad in the sense that he will be getting compassionate care from those who know how to do so, but sad in the sense that this is the next step.

I recall when they first admitted my Dad to the hospital for a transfusion, they put him in oncology/ palliative care and it was important to me to know which was intended for him… if it was oncology, he had options; if it was palliative, he did not. They told me that this was just what the department was called… which fed my denial. I also recall the last two weeks of my Dad’s life when they moved him into a private room, I guess on the floor it was known as the “death room” because that was where they moved people at the very end stage of their disease.

My heart ached knowing my Dad would be the next person in that room. I fought for an air bed for him because his skin was so sensitive that the very sheets he was on caused him pain. That caused me a great deal of heart ache- to know what was happening to him; knowing he couldn’t eat or drink… and something as simple as lying down was painful… it felt so unjust and I couldn’t fathom a god who would allow this to happen to such a loving soul as my Dad.

There was a day that I went to one of the doctors and said “I know this is a stupid question, but we have no hope of reversing this, do we?” They obviously said no. I suppose I had to ask the question… looking back it was denial… what did I expect… that my question would all of a sudden inspire an idea that no one thought of and that my Dad could be saved?

I remember praying so much, saying the rosary, researching all the saints I could think of who were known to assist in these types of circumstances. I was trying everything because conventional medicine was not an option. When I finally resigned myself to what was happening there was the biggest feeling of defeat and failure to help my Dad that is indescribable.

I now look back at the support my mom and I gave him and I am proud and I find comfort in the comfort we gave to him. My mother often will say that it wasn’t enough and I let her know that He had the both of us at His side and that is the most loving way someone can leave this earth.

The days are so dark and cold here right now… recalling those days last year at this time… memory is cruel at times allowing you to feel the exact emotion, somewhat lessened by time, but the feelings forever recorded in every cell of your being.

Recalling those dark, dark, black days last year and how we would try to extract every spec of light to brighten my Dad’s days… I know how you must be feeling and I send prayers of strength to you, your mom and your dear dad. As painful as this is, it is your finest hour as well for it allows you to demonstrate to your dad what you have felt from him. Your story of helping the patient with cirrhosis touched me and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your compassionate heart and loving care will be a balm to soothe your dad’s spirits. He and your mom are very lucky to have you as their daughter and you are lucky as well to be priveledged to help your dad in this stage of his life. I may have had my religious beliefs shaken, but my belief that life goes on is stronger now than ever and because of that I believe that your biological mom and your sister are also sending their support and comforting you and your dad as well.

Thoughts and prayers your way,

love,
Missing U