pam
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Thanks Kathy, love and best wishes go out to you and your caregiver. It’s nice you are taking care of each other.
Thanks for your responses. I appreciate all of your support and allowing me to vent! Because of my dad’s tumor location the doctors are not able to re stent. They said the last one was it unless chemo was able to shrink tumor. My dad was only able to tolerate two doses of chemo. I talked to the doctor on the phone after my dad entered Hospice. He said an outside drain bag would be very uncomfortable at this point. This conversation took place even before my dad’s stent stopped working. The doctor said he would not put a family member through it in my dad’s condition.
I know a lot of my dad’s behavior is due to the toxins. I am less upset with him. Today I took him for a ride down the beach looking at all the classic cars cruising the coast. It was really nice to get out.
He is very unstable medically. So many things he does reminds me of my Mom just before she passed away. Hopefully the meeting will go well tomorrow. At this point, I don’t think we should push him. We will probably have to dig deep and keep going.
Thanks again. I do like the caregivers Bill of Rights. i can say I have about two to three going for me right now. Best wishes to everyone, Pam
Lainy, I would love to leave knowing my loved one was comforted by people who faced the same hardships. And I would love to leave with spiritual friends.
Andrea, you may not have to act on these medications now but in addition to the cipro to prevent infection, my dad has taken lactulose to bind bile and help him go to the bathroom plus hydroxyzine and cholestyramine for itching. Hope his helps.
I’m so sorry to hear this news about your Dad. I know exactly where you are. My dad’s stent can not be changed either. The last one he had placed was July 2nd. It lasted until about two weeks ago and now he is completely jaundice. His eyes and skin are bright yellow. He has a lot of confusion, too. His oncologist kept him on ciprofloxacin 750mg twice a day. This has saved him from massive infection at this point. I fear, however, he will soon be in trouble as organs begin to fail. We are managing his pain with a patch and morphine for breakthrough pain. He has not been sick to his stomach.
It is so hard to hear those words that nothing else can be done. For our family,
he has only been diagnosed since May. The best advice I’ve been given on this board is to just love him. My dad has a dry humor, so that helps. He is also a charmer when he wants something. We also go through grouchy times. Friends also to take one day at a time. I try to do that so things don’t become too overwhelming.Again, sorry to hear about your bad news. Hope you get some rest.
Thank you for the posts. I always feel like you listen! This weekend was difficult for me with all the extra people in charge. But they have left and it is quiet again. I did have a nice talk with my dad this morning. I had to tell him we are changing services and he was actually okay with it. He told me he would have probably died or been a whole lot more miserable if i hadn’t been taking care of him. He has never been one for words so I thought that pretty good for him to be able to express that.
New Hospice service should be on board by end of day. I’ll post soon. Thank you!
Lainy, you are a beautiful person! A nest in a recliner and football couldn’t sound nicer.
Thank you for your posts. They mean a lot to me. Today was a better day. My dad started the day more alert and asked for his favorite coffee and an egg sandwich. It was nice to visit with him and see him awake. He’s had a nice long nap and a visit from his Hospice nurse. She was very kind to him and chatted with me for a while. That was nice because I am by myself for about ten hours a day! His nurse said he will go in and out of these phases for a bit and then he will wake up less and less. She said he may or may not have more pain, but we can manage it with more morphine. She is going to start coming two times a week. We are getting a hospital bed with a bed tray. Last week my dad managed to spill a 4 cup mug of coffee in his bed. It wasn’t hot, ( i always make sure it is luke warm) but the mess was something! It smelled like coffee all day
in his room!Laing, your post cracked me up and then an awe, that’s so sweet. I’m glad you are enjoying your little ET. It hit close to home because my dad looks like a rooster! Because he has lost so much weight his nose and chin have become very prominent. He has dark circles around his beaded little eyes and the front of his hair sticks straight up in the middle. When he sits up our hands go right for his hair to give it an extra boost. We bought him a red cardinal that also looks just like him. I’m glad we can see these things in a playful way. Have a good day!
Hi, sorry to tell you this but my dad had an attempted resection in June. The surgeon was top notch but could not remove anything. We believe my dad had, too had this cancer for a long period of time. He had bouts of the “flu” and itching skin for about a year. The cancer went undetected even though he went to the doctor several times. The recovery from the attempted resection was not easy for him. Your husband seems sicker than my dad was when he had surgery. Did he have a recent surgical clearance? I would take him to the doctor’s before next week to make sure he can still have surgery. Please post again. Will be thinking of you
We went to the oncologist and she said my dad needs to go into hospice. My dad agreed. He is just so tired. He has declined so much in the last week. My sister and I have him in a big comfy bed and chair and are spoiling him rotten. We are so sad by all this but know he has tried so hard to battle this cancer in such a short time.
My dad has an oncology appt. tomorrow. I believe a decision will have to be made whether or not to continue chemo. The oncology nurse indicated that my dad may be closer to end of life. I’ll post again when I know more.
Thanks for all the posts. My dad is better this morning but doesn’t remember one thing about going to the ER. His face is very shocked. I described everything and the chills were the last thing he remembers. It’s so weird but before I read these posts I told my dad that last night was probably the end to him feeling so poorly and that he may be coming back up. I agree about the food. He had been eating small amounts until yesterday and then only breakfast yesterday. He eats a lot of fresh fruit. He takes lactulose every day. A normal ammonia level is 35 and he was at 39. The doctor said that couldn’t be causing all the confusion. I called his oncologist yesterday before we went to ER. She said all the bowel problems made him tired but he should have been back up with his energy. The nurse said it sounded like he had more symptoms than just chemo related. We thought it was the stent he has. It is two months old. Lots of burping and upset stomach. Biliruben level was under 4. I have a call back into oncologist to let them know he does not remember one thing. His home health nurse said it could be combination of increased pain medication and chemo. I am glad he is very much back with it today. He is concerned he can’t remember anything. Thank you again for your posts.
You should not feel guilty venting and having private pity parties. It sounds like you are a wonderful daughter. It is not, by any means, easy to have two sick parents. My story is that my mom was disabled first with a significant stroke. She could not speak, walk, or use her right arm for six years. My sister and I teach school and would go to my parents house and help every day. Two years later and my dad is battling cc. I just don’t know what my sister and I would have done if this happened to my dad first. We would have had so much more on our plates. So with that said enjoy your food and husband’s company. We can all take one day at a time and be there as much as possible for our parents. I’ve had those pity parties myself.
