pderat
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Ours hearts go out to you. So many families (sisters, brothers parents.) have terrible relationships. If only they could love one another while they can and enjoy the type of joy you and Caroline shared. Take care of yourself and hold your memories forever in your heart. Patrice & Dave
Kris-the one saying they have at the Cancer Treatment Center of America is “there’s no place like hope” We hang on to that for us, you, and all the other CC members. Sending you the best wishes for miracles and more.
PatriceLisa Ann-I add my condolences and hugs to you and your family. I am so sorry your Dad had to endure such pain at the end. I am surprised that a hospice would have allowed that. He is at peace now and I hope you will find comfort in that.
PatriceThanks Edith. I will give that a try. He had a dr appt yesterday and did shower before that. Puts me in my place I guess! ( Just kidding)
Dear Jeff and Carol- Thanks so much for your posts. It is could to know I am not out of mind with my approach with Dave. I was feeling selfish in wanting not to sleep with him when he stinks! But your right I have to take care of me too. I will talk with him again about this. I love him so much and just can’t stand seeing him this way. Thanks for your love and support.
PatriceWhat a beautiful post Rita. Seeing yourself as “chosen” shows what wonderful character you derived from you parents and I am sure they felt so blessed to have you.
There is a country song by Brad Paisley called “When I get where I’m going” that brought me great solace when my Dad died in August.Yeah when I get where I’m going,
there’ll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I’ll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I’m going,
Don’t cry for me down here.Thinking of you and wishing you strength and peace.
PatriceRichard-this is a very good site with some fundamentals:
http://www.funeralplan.com/funeralplan/about/whattodo.htmlI experienced all this 20 years ago when my first husband died. It is a very difficult time but it is always better to be prepared so there is no chaos at the actual time of death. If you have hospice or palliative care they will take over much of this for you or at least direct you which is very helpful. My thoughts are with you and your family during this very difficult time.
Patrice
Hi Kris-we are all rooting for you and will have all good energy funneled your way on Monday as we hum Kung-fu Fighting!
Dave is re-starting Chemo on Monday and hopefully that will get his calcium down and he will feel better too. All the best wishes to you and add another hug to that pile!
PatriceThank you Richard and Jeff. I knew I could count on my CC friends to stick by me no matter what my beliefs are. Positive thoughts coming your way too. Dave is not doing well right now. His calcium has gone back into the dangerous levels and we are doing IV saline at home and Zometa (a drug to lower the calcium) from what I have read this is not a good sign. We are hoping he can keep fighting hard until the first of the year when our insurance will pay for him to go to the Cancer Treatment Center of America.
PatriceHi Rita-I think just being there for your Dad and him knowing he has your support is the most you can do. Perhaps music or some other entertainment he likes? When my Dad was dying (not of cancer) he wanted to watch the old reruns of “the tonight show with Johnny Carson. I think it sounds as though you kind of have to let him handle things in the way that works best for him. I know I have a hard time being positive most of the time too. I put on a good front for Dave because he doesn’t want to talk about it, but it is difficult. I will keep you and your Dad close in my heart and send hugs to you. Patrice
I am not a believer in a higher power…never have been, and Dave’s situation has not changed that. I send everyone who has shared their story on this board all the good energy and love I can muster from my heart. Though that doesn’t jive with most people’s religious belief’s, I am a true believer in the power of positive thought, so I don’t think it matters what you call it, but what the intention is, and I hope you will all continue to keep Dave and me in your thoughts, prayers or whatever you want to call them, and I will all of you. I cannot be honest with most people about this as they judge me for my beliefs, but I know the folks here will not. Love to you all-Patrice
Beautiful posts Jeff and Kath. Made me cry but it doesn’t take much these days. I think tricking the cells may be a great idea. I wish I could be the magician to do it. Hugs to all-
PatriceThank you and your family for bringing us all together. I am never one for reaching out for help so this site has been a true blessing for me and Dave even though he doesn’t participate. I will think of Mark each Dec. 6th.
Patrice
