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Kris!

This is indeed a wonderful site. There are some really great articles here especially on anticipatory grief.

Thanks so much for posting this link.

Hugs to you, Hans and the kitties!
Pam

Lainy,

I echo all of the above! I hereby award you your very own halo! Wear it in pride.

As I’ve said before….Teddy chose well when he picked you!

Hugs to you both!
Pam

Oh Pam,

So sorry for your loss but so glad your Dad’s passing was so peaceful. I’m sending hugs, love and prayers for the coming days.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Hugs,
Pam

Pam,

You and your sister are an amazing legacy your Dad will leave behind. You are doing everything possible to ease his passage and you should be proud of yourselves.

Do ask about the liquid morphine and other drugs in liquid form. Hospice will be able to help.

I’m sending prayers for strength and tons of hugs and lots of hugs to all of you…

Pam

Kimmie,

Believe me…I KNOW how you feel. One of the things I did was page through my Mom’s bible and read all of the verses she underlined. She had also made notes there as well. It was llike a small window into her world.

I still find it hard to believe that my grief and loss doesn’t seem to be paramount in other’s minds. To me, losing Mom is if it only just happened. I’ve felt so alone at times in this journey with grief. My poor husband has taken a lot from me. I’m so lucky he puts up with me.

Grief is the hardest job I’ve ever had but I think I’m progressing. I know we’ll all make it but it is truly a journey…

Hugs to all,
Pam

Michelle,

This is absolutely beautiful and oh so true…..

thanks for sharing such a lovely and loving post!

Hugs,
Pam

Hi all,

Just had to weigh in on this one. Mom discussed it with all of us when the oncologist confirmed what I had told her. – (that I thought the next visit would be to tell her that there was nothing else left to pursue as far as treatments went.)

I had already approached Hospice and made all the arrangements so that Daddy wouldn’t have to take on that task while losing his wife of 58 years.

My Mom, Dad, sister and I decided that we would keep Mom at home unless something happened that we could not keep her comfortable and pain free. If that happened she would be admitted to the Hospice hospital in Greensboro. A beautiful facility.

Hospice was so great. When Daddy felt uncomfortable leaving her to run errands or to the grocery store…Several wonderful women from hospice would come and visit for an hour or two different days of the weeks giving Daddy a couple of precious hours to shop, pick up meds or just go for a few moments alone. My sister lived an hour away and I’m almost 3 1/2 hours away so this was a blessing. At the initial visit, they gave Mom and Dad a notebook with everything they needed to know. There were phone numbers, names of our “team” and helpful suggestions.

As the illness progressed those last weeks, we had a wonderful nurse assigned to us that Mom loved, that came several times a week, someone to help bath Mom and do her hair, a social worker that came and always brought flowers from her garden and a doctor who visited as well. We had all the equipment needed delivered with just a phone call. We only needed a hospital bed for about 4 days before she died.

The night she died, it was my Dad, my sister and myself with her. We held her hands, whispered that it was ok to go and told her how much she was loved. I wrote about it throughout that long, long night here on the boards.

I have to say it was the most precious moment of my life. This woman whom I loved more than life itself, who had brought me into this world was slipping away from me but I was able to be there to help her. I can’t tell you how precious it was to have her slip from our loving arms into those of her Lord and Savior. It has made such an impact on my life and my outlook.

I no longer fear death as I once did. In some ways I think I’m a better person than I used to be.

I guess what I’m trying to say is not to fear death. Talking about these things and having options can take away a lot of the fear and anxiousness. Then you have time for the joyous moments and memories. Sitting with my Mom talking about the past and yes the future too…made it more bearable.

My heart goes out to all of you that are nearing this point.

I’m sending hugs, prayers for strength and peace and lots of love.

Hugs,
Pam